Even If Captain Thrace Does It

OH. My. Cylon. GOD:

The Kara Thrace Memorial (?) List Of Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do Aboard The Battlestar Galactica:

1. Not allowed to refer to Samuel Anders as "Mr. Kara Thrace."
* Not allowed to refer to Major Adama as "Mr. Kara Thrace."
* Especially in front of his wife.
* Not allowed to suggest to Major Adama's wife that she "do the cheating frakhead one better" by joining me in the rear cargo bay after hours.
2. Not allowed to refer to Admiral Adama as "Mr. Laura Roslin."

4. Cleaning my gun in the pilots' break room is acceptable. "Cleaning my gun" in the pilots' break room is not.
* No, no matter what Captain Thrace said.
5. The following phrases are hereby banned from conversation: "budding sexuality," "necrophilia," "I hate everyone in this squadron and wish they were all dead," "sexual lubrication," "toasterfrakker," "all Marines are latent homosexuals," "all Viper jocks are blatant homosexuals," "naughty schoolteacher," "strap-on," "slut puppy," "the President's baby mama," "shag the CAG," "New Caprican loco weed," or any reference to squid.
6. Only allowed to add "in accordance with the prophesy" to the ends of my sentences if given specific permission to do so by President Roslin.
* President Roslin did not give me permission to do so.
7. Asking "How do you keep an ECO in suspense?" and walking away isn't even funny the first time.

15. Colonel Tigh is not Admiral Adama's "heterosexual man-spouse."
16. I have not been appointed to a secret presidential sex squad.

45. I have not accepted Gaius Baltar as my personal savior.
*Neither has anyone else.

52. Command decisions do not need to be ratified by the Quorum of 12.
53. I am not the Fleet Mascot.
54. I may not call do-overs during training maneuvers.
* No, not even if Captain Thrace does it.
55. Not allowed to wear a dress to Geminon chapel services.
56. A smilie face is not used to mark the position of a Cylon Basestar.
57. Cylon raiders are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell nuggets that they are.
58. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of Boxey.
59. I cannot have Boxey thrown in the brig for being rude.
60. "I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by the CAG.
* Even if Captain Thrace says it.
61. There is no such thing as a were-Cylon.
62. Our Vipers cannot be assembled into a giant battle robot.

A.

Comments

[spork_incident]

:-D

.

[BuggyQ]

Damn. I was really liking the idea of a Viper Voltron.

Of course, I'm drunk.

[virgotex]

I almost had an embarassing accident, I laughed so hard at this.