Today On Holden's Obsession With The Gaggle
Ah, Yes, The Chopping Of The Cedar
Q Is he going to be doing his normal activities down at the ranch this weekend, since there's this big affair -- like, is he going to go -- probably do the exercise and the chopping of the cedar and all that stuff, or is that pretty much on hold this weekend?
MR. JOHNDROE: No, I think this weekend he'll receive his normal intelligence briefings. I expect he'll work on the ranch, try and get a bike ride in. He does have a lot of other obligations this weekend, but I think he'll try and wedge those into the schedule.
tell him to come out to my place- I got four cedars that need to go, stat.
once again, I maintain that cedarchopping is one of the very very few useful things the man has done in the last 8 years.
Posted by: virgotex | May 08, 2008 at 15:02
and, after that, a spanking! And the oral sex!
(all apologies to Monty Python)
Elspeth
Posted by: Elspeth R | May 08, 2008 at 16:19
Elspeth:
I'll put in a call to Jeff "8 inches cut" Gannon and scramble Airforce 2.
You know who else likes to cut trees? Gay lumberjacks.
You know who else liked to ride his bike. Steroid using French cyclists.
How do we know that he isn't a gay lumberjack who takes steroids to increase his speed? I think we need to do some random drug testing. He IS a government employee after all. How about just to see what his alcohol content of his blood is on occasion? I mean WE know that it is okay to drink, but he did say he hasn't had anything to drink since what he was forty? 20 years with out a drink?
Do you believe that? Maybe we should have someone ask him that question.
Posted by: spocko | May 08, 2008 at 19:19
Spocko - there better be a series of photos of the Despot of the Bride circulating the moment the reception is over w/him holding and consuming alcohol. Or he gets falling down drunk...whacks his head on a table after doing his stupid "dancin' fer thuh cammiras". He has nothing to lose - if a g'damned illegal war won't get his saggy, flaccid ass impeached, his drinking on company time won't either.
Hoo boy - maybe Lauwa will announce her divorce plans to a (probably not-so-) stunned crowd after the Wal*Mart wedding cake is cut. (I say Wal*Mart because as low-rate as the 'favors' are...c'mon, they couldn't get Martha Stewart? -oh, yeah, she's for the Dems- So, it's off to WallyWorld to get a hideous cake to match...)
So help me if any cake artists I know/respect do it...unless it IS drop dead gorgeous... However, I don't hold out much hope - any WH chef that will make hamburgers for visiting dignitaries (I don't care if the pres wants that...he's a professional chef NOT a line cook at Denny's) provides the possibility that a p.o.s. cake might be provided. (unless the cake he made for Pope Nazi, I mean, Ratzi, I mean Benadick was just a trial run for this...?)
Our taxmoney at 'werk' - a wedding for the daughter of the retarded spawn of Satan. Maybe if we weren't in hock for the next few generations to the Chinese and the Saudis and the gal was marrying a soldier instead of a deferment-descendant...I wouldn't mind the expense so much...
(and if she and her intended are footing the bill themselves, please correct me)
Ugh, I am tired...(and obviously working on a cake...LOL!)
Elspeth
Posted by: Elspeth Ravenwind | May 08, 2008 at 22:30
Hm..."cedar chaopping"? What happened to "clearing brush"?
I think "cedar chopping" is code for "invading Lebanon" (which has a cedar tree on its flag).
(And virgotex, I'll trade you four cedars for one 50-foot cottonwood!)
Posted by: Dorothy | May 09, 2008 at 08:38
dorothy, a cottonwood would never make it in my rocky shallow topsoil, but I'd take it if I could.
and noes! Not lebanon. No war for hummus!
Posted by: virgotex | May 09, 2008 at 10:01
MR. JOHNDROE: "No, I think this weekend he'll receive his normal intelligence briefings. I expect he'll work on the ranch, try and get a bike ride in. He does have a lot of other obligations this weekend, but I think he'll try and wedge those into the schedule."
Well, as long as those "lot of other obligations this weekend" don't involve ACTUALLY LEADING THE COUNTRY IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE CRAPPY PROBLEMS THAT HAVE RESULTED FROM HIS MIS-ADMINISTRATION, then I'd rather he "work on the ranch, try and get a bike ride in", to keep him from FUCKIN' UP THE U.S.A. ANY MORE!!!
Posted by: | May 09, 2008 at 12:50
Not a white house wedding--a faux ranch and a pile of rocks altar.
I look forward to every bit of snark over the wedding photos.
Posted by: cgreen | May 09, 2008 at 16:51