First Draft

Saturday Blogwhoring Thread

Now you know.

So what's on your minds and blogs today?  Post away!

A Highway of Diamonds With Nobody On It: Galactica Thread

Jacob:

And you can't ever be sure. There are some fucked-up retarded bumper stickers in the world that will tell you idiosyncrasy and acting like a freak are personal imperatives. Those are not the daemon speaking, but low self-esteem selling itself a pass, and the way that I know that is: you can't buy God on a bumper sticker. But from the outside, the merely insane or annoying are identical to the annoying insanity of genius. The fact that you can't ever be sure is a safety measure against letting it drive you actually crazy.

Spoilers inside. Grab your gun and bring in the cat.

The Hip New Phrase That's Sweeping The Nation!*

Sweet baby jesus with carmelized apple sections.

I went looking for this interview because as a fangirl, I wanted to see what Heather sounded like in real life. As I watched, though (and envied her haircut), I was overwhelmed with fury and despair at the absolute bottom-feeding shit journalism I was witnessing, and don't talk me down by saying this was a talk show for ladies who eat bonbons in the daytime or some shit, I am embarrassed for the entire medium, no, forget it, for the species, by the question of "Who is on your blogosphere?" Because ... WHAT? What is that? Simultaneously, where does the host/presenter/news twink to the right get off with her, "I think you're very pretty but you SUCK" sermon at the end there?

The story has it all: Stupid, condescending attitude toward women? Check. Stupid, condescending attitude toward mothers? Check. Something common being characterized as revelatory because somebody just discovered it? FUCKING CHECK. God, I hate my life a little because it now includes having heard someone (an orange someone, with scary hair) describe her reluctance to understand a particular communications medium as a fear of computers.

And like I said, I get that this is a fluffy morning show. But, someone pays these people, and someone pays the people who tell them things, and SOMEBODY shouldn't be drawing a paycheck this week, is all I'm saying. The shit we let live TV get away with is staggering. You're gonna do a story about something, you're gonna interview someone about what she does, least you can do is LEARN ITS FUCKING NAME.

A.

*Title stolen from a Wisconsin State Journal feature article, published I think during my senior year of college, about the expression "WHOOMP THERE IT IS!" I graduated in 1996, just so we're clear.

The Haphazard Flight of a Distant Ball

Spent a very enjoyable evening on Wednesday at this, listening to the brilliant and hilarious First Draft Krewe alum Mike D. talk shit about the Cubs and bemoan the unfairness of the Sun-Times splashing the slump-busting controversy all over its front page while ignoring the chance to talk about Cubs players cockfighting (who lets an opportunity to use "cock" in the paper get by them, honestly?) and making errors.

(Speaking of slump-busting, is it a sign of my jaded-ness when it comes to sports that my first reaction was relief that they didn't use actual live girls? These are baseball players we're talking about, Mickey Mantle and Ty Cobb would have brought in real people and then taken pictures of it. My second reaction was that Ozzie's a fucking moron who should have been fired some miles back, but that won't happen unless the losing gets so bad they can use it as a plausible excuse.)

From Mike's piece:

I read once that Sox fans on average actually come from a higher rung on the socio-economic ladder than Cubs fans: think Naperville as instead of Schaumburg. We will forever be thought of as that guy with the mullet who ran onto the field to beat up a coach for the Kansas City Royals – unlike your fans who threatened to kill one of your own for allegedly costing the team a shot at the World Series a few falls ago.

And thanks to the team itself, we will always be associated with the never really cool sounds of Journey, while Metro is just down the block from Wrigley.

All of which has been a long way to explain to you Cubs fans why we Sox fans have chips on our shoulders at least as big as the chunks of concrete that have fallen from your so-called friendly confines.

A.

Friday Ferretblogging

We got a little basket to hold all Puck and Riot's toys when, you know, company comes over or we need to use part of the floor to walk on ourselves. As with most things we bring into the house, it was claimed and then repurposed:

A.

Today On Holden's Obsession With The Gaggle

Ah, Yes, The Chopping Of The Cedar

Q Is he going to be doing his normal activities down at the ranch this weekend, since there's this big affair -- like, is he going to go -- probably do the exercise and the chopping of the cedar and all that stuff, or is that pretty much on hold this weekend?

MR. JOHNDROE: No, I think this weekend he'll receive his normal intelligence briefings. I expect he'll work on the ranch, try and get a bike ride in. He does have a lot of other obligations this weekend, but I think he'll try and wedge those into the schedule.

Early catblogging

An oldie of Willie B

Sad

I was thinking she would find a graceful exit strategy. This isn't it. It's disgraceful, disgusting, disappointing and just sad.

Your President Speaks!

Yesterday, at the White House.

The Global War On Plurals Continues

What they should do is allow for the construction of refinery and for environmentally friendly domestic exploration.

If The Truth Of The Matter

And if the truth of the matter is Congress were that concerned about the consumers, they ought to make sure that they make the tax relief we passed a permanent part of the tax code.

What You Got To Recognize

If you're worried about the economy, then you got to recognize that opening markets for U.S. goods and services will help strengthen the economy.

Column: TEGWAR

Link:

And one of the more odious sounds emerging from the campaign cacophony is the whine of former and current Obama supporters: Why did he stay a member of Wright's church? Why didn't he denounce Wright more strongly? Why didn't he denounce him sooner? Why did Obama remain friends with former Weatherman Bill Ayers? Why didn't he see that any of this would hurt him, and by extension, us? Why?

Why? Because there is simply no way he could have known it would be this bad. And I say that as someone who gives Obama credit for uncommon intelligence and a level of political calculation of which many of his fans seem to think he is constitutionally incapable.

There are no rules to this, to what becomes an unholy pig fest of a story and what dies after a couple of mentions in the back pages. It's become impossible to predict what will be a problem and what won't. Things are all fine and dandy until they're suddenly not. It's arbitrary and stupid and ultimately irrelevant, which makes it hard to fight back against.

A.

Electability

From Atrios:

Let me make it a bit more clear. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging the reality of race and politics, and there's nothing wrong with politicians targeting their campaigns and messaging towards various subgroups.

What the Clinton campaign is doing is saying that Obama has electability problems, and using their support from white voters as evidence of that.

Someone, someday, will have to explain this electability thing to me, specifically how come I'm not hearing much on electability in regard to Hillary. Because in my experience there is a problem there coming from the subgroup I'll call  the "I've-pretty-much-STFU-and-lost-interest-because-
Bush-sucktitude-embarrasses-me-
but-if-Hillary-is-running-
I'll-be-balls-to-the-wall-to-kick-that-b%&*h-in-her-nuts" subgroup. I didn't have to go looking for them because they  reared their ugly sleepy head in my own family (again) recently. Yeah the conservative Repub wing of the clan pretty much STFU around 2006 making holiday meals palatable. But last Christmas one word woke the sleeping giant...Hillary.  And all sort of nonsense and vitriol came spewing forth. I'd almost forgotten what this conversation was like.

Today on Athenae's Obsession with the Freepi: Who Do We Hate?

"Obama!" "McCain!" "Hitlery!" "Saddam!" "What?"

Poor dears. They're completely confused.

Your stupid, you should have voted for Hitlery. We WANT her to fight all the way to the DNC convention. What is so hard to understand ?

---

That you can't see what is SO obvious, that Obama will mean a sure Republican landslide.

---

Obama can’t beat McCain. Hitlary can.

---

I want the beast to win. I don’t care anymore. I think we deserve it. Its a lose-lose election. Republicans have no testicles and the support for McCain proves it out. I already have plans to leave the country if it gets too bad.

---

And go where, crazy? Name me ONE country that has a more freedom loving, more conservative government and citizenry than the good old U S of A. Tell me where it is and I’ll go there myself. The catch is they have to accept us as full citizens, not merely legal residents. So you go on your wild goose chase and let everyone on FR know when you find that country. I really hope it exists because we all could really use a backup place to go to just in case this one really is done for some day.

---

If we get McCain - he’ll destroy the Republican party. Forever. Unrecoverable. He’s a liar, a socialist liberal that believes in income redistribution, and is cloaking it in his sudden newfound conservatism since Febraury 2008.

---

WE. Are. Screwed.

And why nobody can see it, I don’t know. They’re all swooning over McAmnesty. And its disgusting.

Nobody wants to see how dangerous McCain is to the country combined with a Dem or even RINO congress.

He’s not even good on the WOT. You people just don’t see it. He’s TERRIBLE. As soon as they’re captured, they’re an American Citizen. Voila!

Some fighter he is. And you support him?

You McCainiacs disgust me. You must want to kill the country.

---

Ok so you personally think McCain is the anti-Christ. But to say he’s worse than Hillary or Obama is ludicrous on every level.

---

Well, let's be honest here. It is not McCain that the electorate really loathes; rather it is the assclown currently occupying the White House--the most incompetent chief executive since James Earl Carter! And, if Obama wins in November, you can thank George W. Bush for the victory.

And now, a musical interlude:

A.

What This Has Been About

With all the speculation about if/when Hillary will drop out, and who Obama's VP is going to be, and what's going to happen with her supporters, and how she'll campaign with him or not, it will be very easy to get swept up in the immediate future and forget the immediate past. We shouldn't forget it, though:

Let's not kid ourselves in hindsight, okay? Whatever she's done that you hate (hell, that I hate), this is what's been done TO her, and it's not okay. The above isn't okay. This isn't okay:

This isn't okay:

And this isn't okay:

And whatever else has gone on, and will go on, for as long as she stays in the race, let's not make the mistake of thinking that her political strategy excuses for one instant this kind of bullshit. There is no excuse for it. It is not okay.

A.

Post-Primary Day

My crane style.  Let me show you it.

Any post-primary hangover thoughts?  Has anyone checked on Jeralyn at Talk Left?

Indy/NC Crack Van

Posts in the van belong to their posters. NO VIOLENCE. Try to stay off the sidewalks. Try.

Update: Van closed! Thanks for stopping by! Here's Obama's speech, in case you missed it, because it was a tasty piece of kickass:

A.

Today On Holden's Obsession With The Gaggle

Dana Peroxide Is Back, So Helen Tries Again

Q Yesterday, according to The New York Times, we dropped a bomb on a home in Sadr City and burned alive a pregnant woman and her children. How long is the siege of Sadr -- how long are we going to keep bombing Iraqis?

MS. PERINO: Well, I'm not aware of that particular report. I have not -- I've not seen it.

Q Well, it was pretty buried in the story.

MS. PERINO: Okay. Well, the operation against the militias in Sadr City will continue until they root them out. And that is expressly in order to protect people like you just mentioned.

Q Root who out, Iraqis, in their own country?

MS. PERINO: It is Prime Minister Maliki's government which is going after the militia, which is appropriate.

Q Why are we bombing these people?

MS. PERINO: Any time anyone that is an innocent civilian is hurt in a conflict, we obviously regret it, and we go out of our way to make sure it doesn't happen.

Press Secretary Pickles

Q Dana, speaking of Mrs. Bush, what was the motivation behind having the First Lady speak out yesterday on Myanmar, instead of the President? Whose idea was it? And was there any concern at all that one part of that dual message, the criticism of the military junta, could be hindering the other part, which was the offer of U.S. aid?

MS. PERINO: No. Mrs. Bush -- it is no surprise that Mrs. Bush feels very strongly about Burma, and she and the President have been working as partners on this issue for a long period of time. And we were very happy to have her here in the briefing room, and I think it sent a really good message, especially to the people of Burma -- if they got a chance to hear her, hopefully, through some of the radio programs that they would be able to hear -- that the United States cares; that we want them to live in freedom and democracy and justice -- have justice for their citizens. And we'd be happy to have her in the briefing room any time she would like to come.

Q So, in other words, because she has spoken out in the past, you felt it was appropriate for her to carry that message on yesterday?

MS. PERINO: I cannot see any reason why it would be inappropriate for the First Lady of the United States to grace the press briefing room with her presence.

Q But, again, any concern that by -- because she did criticize the junta -- that that would in any way deter them from accepting U.S. aid?

MS. PERINO: Our position about the way that they have governed has been very clear. That was not the first time that Mrs. Bush or anyone in the federal government has expressed that concern.

Cheney In Charge

Q How is the administration going to respond to this House push for a subpoena of the Vice President's Chief of Staff?

MS. PERINO: Well, I understand that David Addington issued a letter last week in which he said he would be responding to the committee, and I know that he will do so. And I'm going to refer you to the office of the Vice President --

Q So is he going to testify?

MS. PERINO: I'd refer you to him for more. They -- the office of the Vice President's Press Secretary can handle that.

Q Don't hold your breath.

Q They don't tell you what they're doing?

MS. PERINO: Look, the subpoena was just served. He said he would respond appropriately, and I'm sure he will.

They Don't Care

Q The head of the National Institutes of Mental Health says that it's possible that the number of suicides among veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan may turn out to be greater than the number who actually die in combat. And at least two senators say that the VA has withheld the actual number of suicides and attempted suicides, and have called for the resignation of the VA's Director of Mental Health. What's your reaction?

MS. PERINO: Well, I'm aware of the hearing today where the Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary Peake was answering questions about this very thing today. And I'm sure that you are covering that, as well. President Bush is very concerned about the mental health of our veterans and has made sure that we are doing everything we can to make sure that American veterans are getting the care that they need.

[snip]

Q Well, has the White House or the Pentagon been aware of the possibility that the VA has been withholding the statistics on the number of suicides and attempted suicides?

MS. PERINO: We're aware of the accusations and I do believe Secretary Peake answered those today.

Q Well, what is the answer?

MS. PERINO: I would refer you to -- nobody was covering it, so I wasn't able to see it directly.

Q Well, I mean, what is the response from here? I mean, what are you going to direct people to do about it?

MS. PERINO: Well, the President has full confidence in Secretary Peake and believes that he is handling it appropriately.

Q What about the head of the mental health services at the VA?

MS. PERINO: Well, again, he works for Secretary Peake and I'll refer you to them.

Son Of They Don't Care

Q What's the White House position going to be on the Democrats' idea of including unemployment benefit extensions in the supplemental?

MS. PERINO: Well, remember that right now -- in fact, just last week, we had mixed reports on the economy, and one of them was the unemployment rate remains relatively low by historic standards, at 5.0 percent, recognizing that some people are on unemployment for longer than they would like. And we're aware of that.

[snip]

Q The Democrats are talking about it in the House, including it in the supplemental, the Iraq supplemental.

MS. PERINO: We feel strongly that the Iraq war supplemental should remain for national security needs. We understand that there could be debates on other issues, such as unemployment benefits and food stamps, other issues that are important to a lot of people. But those issues can be taken up separate from our national security needs in the Iraq war supplemental.

Dear Internet Scammers:

You can do better than this.  Really.

Dear Scammers: Please try harder.  You are insulting my intelligence.  And that's not exactly an easy thing to do.

But I do appreciate the laugh.

Best wishes from deposed Nigerian royalty,

Jude

Myanmar Aid

A list of ways to help here.

A.

Your President Speaks!

Today, at the White House.

Is-Is

And my own judgment is, is that we need to recognize military spouses every day.

Does Not Know The Name Of Our Country

You're carrying out the burdens -- you're serving our country. And it's noble service. And it's necessary service. And the United States America owes you a huge debt of gratitude.

Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!

She loves our military, she loves her boys, and she loves to sew. So she put these two loves together -- or three loves together -- and began to volunteer with Quilts of Valor Foundation.

Happy Kerry Photo: Old Time's Sake Edition

From his please-take-me-back e-mail office:

Kerry Legislation Would Remove Nelson Mandela from Terror Watch List

WASHINGTON, DC – Recognizing that Nelson Mandela and many members of the African National Congress (ANC) are currently on U.S. terrorism watch lists, Sen. John Kerry today introduced legislation in the Senate to grant the Secretary of State, in consultation with the Departments of Justice and Homeland Security, the authority to waive U.S. travel restrictions on former President Mandela and other members of the ANC. Kerry met with Mandela in South Africa in November 2007, and toured Robben Island, where Mandela was kept for eighteen of the twenty-seven years he spent imprisoned during the apartheid era.

Mandela and his fellow ANC members remain on the list for activities they conducted against South Africa ’s apartheid regime decades ago. U.S. diplomats, including Secretary Rice, have called on Congress to pass legislation to end this embarrassing impediment to improving U.S.-South Africa relations.

“Nelson Mandela is one of the world’s strongest voices for human dignity and courage in the face of oppression. The idea that he’d be on our government’s terror watch list is deplorable. No bureaucratic snafu can excuse this international embarrassment, and we need to fix this policy now,” said Kerry.

A.

ps. I think I want the primaries to be over just so I can start stockpiling fine, fine photos of our hot, hot nominee and turn this blog into Political Tiger Beat again.

What Gets To Be Successful

Read Heather and this, via the crack den, and then come back here to talk to me about women and money.

Because what runs through both those stories (and I’ve been kicking Heather’s around in my head for a while now) is quite simply the idea that we should be ashamed that women make money. Let me not sugarcoat it, in Heather’s case: Male authors for hundreds of years have been making bazillions peddling thinly fictionalized versions of their own twisted familial shit to anybody who’d listen, making the reading public their therapists as they dealt with alcoholism and child abuse and incest and charming eccentricities like putting out cigarettes on four-year-olds’ arms. Nobody has ever, ever, ever implied that those men were anything other than literary geniuses whose harsh lives fueled their stunning creativity and whose oft-fatal mental illnesses were just symbols of their specialness. Any concerns about them essentially writing poison-pen letters to ex-wives and ex-lovers and ex-friends in the public eye have been far outweighed by their fucking Nobel Prizes. Let’s not pretend this is something it isn’t.

I'm biased because Heather's writing about her depression was incredibly valuable to me, and because, as a non-mother, I've enjoyed an actual realistic window into what it might be like someday. Heather’s concerns about the impact of her work on her child are between her and her work and her child, and everybody in the comments trying to make it about their noble concern for her innocent babe is kidding himself, this isn’t about the kid. This is about a chick writing about chick things for (mostly) other chicks, and people getting pissed at her because she got book and movie deals out of it, because that somehow doesn’t “get” to be successful. They can’t just say that because it makes no fucking sense, so they cloak their bullshit in this concern trolling about exploitation. Deep down, nobody gives a fuck about Heather writing about her family. They give a fuck about Heather making MONEY from writing about her family. How dare she? She ought to be ashamed. And because she isn’t, we’re going to make her ashamed by appealing to her guilt as a mother.

Heather’s blog is about her family. Would I have a blog like that, as open and personal? I don’t have kids, I don’t know. Mr. A and I had a long conversation this weekend about how old our fictitious kid would have to be before we’d let him walk seven blocks to the community pool by himself, would that interest people? No fucking clue. (He said seven, I said ten, we both said, “you’re fucking crazy.”) Does posting pictures of your kids online seem like asking for trouble? It has, to me, in the past. But it’s not up to me, is the thing. The only thing that's up to me is what I write about. That’s what’s really pissing off the concern trolls. They don't get to make the decision about what this woman can do with her life: write about it, not write about it, make money off it, not make money. This blog is about the political and journalistic, but don’t think for one second they aren't personal to me, those things. You all know more about my relationship with God than my priest does. Those things that lift us up and make us shout with joy, those things are personal, no matter what they’re about, and if you came to me and told me I don't "get" to write about those things, I can't say I'd react with any generosity.

(The whole stupid wank also reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of what advertising is. It's not selling content; she's not "selling her child." It's selling the attention of readers to advertisers. You're selling eyeballs, not stories. The stories might bring the eyeballs, but more often than not, marketing brings the eyeballs, even in blogworld.)

That’s what runs through the second bit, about Sarah Jessica Parker and the movie being made about that sucky, overmarketed show she used to be on. That she feels she should have to downplay money, should have to reduce it to something “vulgar” and wrong, that she doesn’t really care about, that’s what I got out of it. That she makes her clothing line about equality for plus-sized women and women of color instead of about, “I wanted to make clothes and make them hot and sell shitloads of them and get rich as hell.” Somehow, it would be déclassé for her to say exactly that. And hey, maybe she really has convinced herself that making ugly shrug sweaters that can look ugly on everybody equally is her life’s mission. Whatever, far as I’m concerned, but she shouldn’t have to apologize for doing what she does unless everybody should, so cloaking it in this faux-piety just smacks of shame.

If Heather's story is about people about making women feel bad about what they earn, the SJP piece says that plenty of women already do.

A.

Today On Holden's Obsession With The Gaggle

Snott Stanzel Says It's not Chimpy's Fault...

Q Oil is hitting $120 a barrel today -- a new record. Any response on that? And any further steps that the administration can take?

MR. STANZEL: Well, I think it's another example that it's important for the United States to become less dependent on foreign sources of energy. I understand some strife in Nigeria may be playing an impact on that. We have here in this nation resources that we are not utilizing. ANWR is an example, an issue that's been debated over the past couple of decades -- has been repeatedly blocked from exploration.

[snip]

Q The President will be in Saudi Arabia next week. Will he be, again, urging King Abdallah to increase output there and to get OPEC to do the same?

MR. STANZEL: I think whenever the President has discussions with leaders in the region he talks about the impact that high oil prices do have on our economy and the impact that that then has on the world economy. So I think you can expect the President to make those concerns very clear.

Q But none of this offers any short-term relief, obviously. The solutions you're talking about are years down the road, literally.

MR. STANZEL: Right, and many years ago we could have had a more forward-leaning energy policy, and that's what we're talking about. If we don't want to go from short-term band-aid to short-term band-aid to short-term crisis to short-term crisis again and again and again, leaders in Congress should start to look forward and think about our long-term energy strategy. And it's our contention that that hasn't been the case in the last 20 years.

[snip]

Q That may all be true, but voters are going to be asking, what have you done for me, when they go to the polls.

MR. STANZEL: And voters should understand that the President would like us to do a number of different things, whereas leaders in Congress have continually rejected the idea of expanding exploration, whether it's ANWR or the Outer Continental Shelf; they continually stood in the way of those things, which makes us more dependent on foreign sources of energy.

Q So it wasn't his fault?

MR. STANZEL: Well, it's a problem that's gone back many years.

But The People Want Action, Not Politics

Q Thank you. Scott, many Americans are saying that there's a lot of talk right now about short-term/long-term fixes, but they need something immediately, right now. We're facing $120 a barrel for oil now. A lot of people are concerned that -- what's not being looked at by the President. He's saying he'll look at every option -- it's price gouging. You've got Exxon, you've got Chevron making billions upon billions of dollars in profit when the American public is having problems going to the pump with the gas prices. Why not deal with that issue of price gouging?

MR. STANZEL: Well, there's a structure in place to have those issues examined and that is something that we always have in place. And so if you're talking about taxing energy-producing companies, the windfall profits tax is something that's being considered on Capitol Hill. That, as Dana mentioned last week, was an abject failure when it was tried during the Carter administration. At a time when you have high prices, it makes absolutely zero sense to tax the people producing that energy.

[snip]

Q But is there something -- I mean, I hear what you're saying, but from what I'm getting -- I just, in front of the White House, just talk to average, everyday people. One person told me this is obscene and obsessive. People are hurting when they go to the pump. They don't want to hear partisan politics. They want to hear someone unifying, cutting the red tape and getting to the heart of the matter. Can this administration do something about the fact that --

MR. STANZEL: The President said the other day that there's no magic wand. If he could -- if there was a magic wand, he would wave it and these prices would drop. But that's not the case. We are dealing with a situation where we've had for many years an energy policy that hasn't served the long-term needs of this country. So that's the situation we find ourselves in.

This Isn't The Worst Idea I've Ever Heard

And in the OMG NEWSPAPERS ARE DOOOOOOOMED! conversation, that's saying something.

Via Romenesko.

A.

Just a Thought

One of the really, really nice things about living in Madison, Wisconsin, is that you almost never see an asshole with Confederate flag shit on.

I like that.

Crack Van

For Indiana and South NORTH Carolina tomorrow night. Be here, starting around 4:30 p.m. again ...

(Teach me to post before coffee is done.)

A.

My Marriage Is Saved

Thank God.

A.

Price

So I'm well aware that this is like picking the slotted spoon out of the box of kitchen tools to pick on it, but the most offensive part of Dana Perino's word-wrangling over "mission accomplished" isn't "mission accomplished:"

President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said "mission accomplished for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission." And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner.

Emphasis mine.

Price? What price have they paid? Last I heard Bush got re-elected. Last I heard, none of the Heritage Foundation alumni wandering the halls of the White House got blown up by IEDs. Last I heard, the president and his entourage still had the adulation of about one in four Americans, so honestly, if what they mean by "price" is "three in four Americans think we suck," I'm sorry, but you'll have to work harder to get my sympathy. It is past fucking time we stop equating "people said mean things about me on TV" with any kind of actual consequences. What price have they paid? In money, in lives, in time? What price have they paid? Last I heard none of them is gonna miss a meal.

And don't throw the 2006 elections in my face. Bush's party didn't lose those because of that banner. The GOP lost because America was pissed off about ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE. The banner is just political shorthand for how fucked up Iraq is and how out of touch the president remains.

What price have they paid?

A.

Gumbo

This some good shit

Okay.  After some rebuke in the comments, I've decided to post a recipe. 

Like most of the stuff I write, it's laced with profanity.  I like to think of it as a verbal spice to accompany the literal spice in the cooking process.

Jude’s Ass-Kicking Chicken and Sausage Gumbo

 
Pots and shit:
8-quart or larger stockpot or Dutch oven
Large skillet
3 quart or larger saucepan for rice
A smaller saucepan for warming stock
Several prep bowls for meat and vegetables
Knives and cutting boards
Wooden spoons (a fucking must-have)
A ladle for adding stock to the gumbo pot
Patience 

For the roux:
½ cup canola (or other good vegetable) oil
½ cup flour 

The rest: 
2 ½ to 3 lbs of chicken (I like boned, skinned thighs), cut into bite-sized pieces.
1 lb. andouille or other quality smoked sausage (Klement’s andouille sausage works well), sliced
thin (about ¼”) on the bias
1 onion, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
2-3 ribs celery, chopped
4-6 cloves garlic, minced
½ tsp dried thyme leaves
¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes
2 bay leaves
2 quarts chicken stock or water (stock makes a much better gumbo), almost at a simmer
Creole seasoning (I like Tony Chachere’s, which you can get at Woodman’s or specialty markets)*
Salt, Black pepper, Cayenne pepper
Olive oil
½ cup fresh parsley, chopped (optional)
½ bunch scallions, sliced (optional)—just the green parts
Filé powder (optional) 

Cut the chicken into small, bite-sized chunks. Throw it into a bowl and season generously with salt, pepper, and Creole seasoning, and let stand for 30 minutes at room temperature.

Get a big skillet, add some olive oil, and heat over medium-high heat. When it’s hot, add the red pepper flakes and sausage, and brown the sausage. Remove with a slotted spoon, keep in a bowl. 

In the olive oil/rendered pork fat skillet, brown the chicken pieces on all sides (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Remove with a slotted spoon and keep in a bowl. 

Make a roux. Here’s how:

In the good, heavy Dutch oven or stockpot you’ll be using, heat the ½ cup of oil over medium to medium-high heat. When it’s good and hot, add the flour, a bit at a time, and STIR STIR STIR with a wooden spoon (I have a wooden spoon that I only use for stirring roux). Keep adding the flour until you’ve added the entire half-cup. Keep stirring, and don’t forget about the corners of the container. Stirring prevents the roux from burning. Burnt roux is a sin. If you see black flecks in the roux, it’s burned and ruined. Throw it out and start over. Keep stirring, and watch the roux change color. It will go from white to blonde to caramel to peanut-butter to brick to dark. When it’s good and dark, about the color of milk chocolate, it’s ready. It smells great, too. It takes between 20 and 60 minutes to do this, depending on how high you keep the heat. When you’re new at this, I wouldn’t suggest using any higher of a setting than medium. If you think it’s about to burn, take it off heat and keep stirring. Then put it back on when you think it’s safe. I realize that these instructions are subjective. Deal with it.

Be very fucking careful when stirring roux. It makes a hot oil/flour paste. If you splash some on you, it burns all to be goddamned. So watch it.

 

Now you got a roux. What to do with it?

Take the pot off heat and throw in the chopped vegetables, and keep fucking stirring. Add the thyme and bay leaves to let them bloom in the hot oil. Keep stirring. Put the pot back on the heat when it’s safe, and keep cooking until the vegetables are soft, between 4 and 8 minutes (depending on the mass of your cooking pot and how hot it was). 

Add the chicken and sausage back to the pot. 

Add the stock and stir, goddammit, stir. If you don’t, the roux will be all clumpy and shit. You don’t want that. If you add cold stock, you’ll get the same problem. It’s got to be almost-simmering warm. 

Add salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper to taste. 

Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and simmer for at least one hour. Two is better, but me, I can’t ever wait that long. Don’t fully cover; if you want, you can keep a lid tilted. Stir occasionally. 

If using scallions and parsley, add 5 minutes before you serve.

Cook up some white rice (if you don’t know how to do this, don’t ever talk to me again); serve the gumbo in bowls over the rice. 

You can add filé powder (ground sassafras leaves) to the rice in the bowls right before you pour the gumbo in—just a sprinkle. 

I didn’t tell you anything about okra because it’s hard to get it around here. But if you did want to use it, you slice about a pound of that up and add it to the pot when there are about 30 minutes left to go. If you use okra, don’t use filé, and vice-versa. 

This is some good goddam food, let me tell you. 

It makes enough to feed a big-ass party. If you don’t give a damn about anyone else, it freezes up real good, too. 

*About Creole seasoning:

 

Don’t want to pay for it? Here’s how to make it yo’ damn self: 

1/4 cup table salt (please don't use iodized salt--it tastes funny)

3 tablespoons granulated garlic or garlic powder

3 tablespoons ground black pepper, freshly ground if at all possible

1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, or to taste

1 tablespoon paprika

Combine thoroughly and store in a jar. Add as necessary to whatever the hell you want. Just give it a good shake before you use it.
 

If you’re really pressed for time, you can forego cutting up the chicken and browning it. This shortcut also allows you to skip browning the sausage, but you still have to slice that up. If it’s the case that prep time is of the essence, just start at the “Make a roux” part of this recipe. After you’ve added the vegetables, herbs, and stock, throw in your sliced sausage and chicken thighs. As the thighs simmer, they’ll fall apart and still be tasty. However, you’ll have to add a bit more seasoning, as you’ll miss out on the salting-and-peppering-and-creole-seasoning of the chicken while browning. You’ll still have a damn fine gumbo, and no one will know that you cheated just a little.

844-20

Fucking SWEET.

A.

Steve Chapman Finds A Nut

McCain Hearts Watergate Conspirator:

How close are McCain and Liddy? At least as close as Obama and Ayers appear to be. In 1998, Liddy's home was the site of a McCain fundraiser. Over the years, he has made at least four contributions totaling $5,000 to the senator's campaigns—including $1,000 this year.

Last November, McCain went on his radio show. Liddy greeted him as "an old friend," and McCain sounded like one. "I'm proud of you, I'm proud of your family," he gushed. "It's always a pleasure for me to come on your program, Gordon, and congratulations on your continued success and adherence to the principles and philosophies that keep our nation great."

Which principles would those be? The ones that told Liddy it was fine to break into the office of the Democratic National Committee to plant bugs and photograph documents? The ones that made him propose to kidnap anti-war activists so they couldn't disrupt the 1972 Republican National Convention? The ones that inspired him to plan the murder (never carried out) of an unfriendly newspaper columnist?

The Chicago Tribune, despite running a front-page story today about Obama and Wright that doesn't once mention the name "Hagee" and contains nothing new in the ongoing Validate My Need for a Controversy tour, manages to endorse Obama for Indiana in terms that reveal that while the paper's editorial board member probably wouldn't vote for him if you nailed their nuts to an anthill, on balance, he's a local guy and so he is in some sense theirs.

When it doesn't infuriate me this paper confuses the hell out of me.

A.

Sunday Reading

A story about hope.

Our new doggy overlords.

America! Fuck yeah!

A.

Sunday Eats

Wooo-eee!

It's Sunday.  I'm makin' gumbo.

What are you having?