I'd hate to be an NFL placekicker. You're out there all alone and if you miss everybody notices. That's what happened to New Orleans Saints kicker Garret Hartley last Sunday. He missed the winning kick against the previously pitiful Tampa Bay Buccaneers who proceeded to make the Saints walk the plank in OT.
There's dismay in Debrisville after two straight home losses and I get no kick out of either cocaine or blaming the kicker so I've decided to blame the owner. Why the hell not? NFL owners are usually wealthy GOP donors who receive corporate welfare from the state. Saints owner Tom Benson is a classic douchebag: a car dealer who lived for many years in Texas. Benson also proved himself to be a world's class conclusion jumper this weekend whilst Hartley was missing the field goal:
This premature gesticulation *almost* takes the sting out of the loss. Almost.
But something else *has* taken the sting out of losing to the lowly Bucs. The Vikings have lost 36-30 to Da Bears so the Saints will have home field advantage throughout the playoffs. It also pleases Cheeseheads everywhere and this is a pro-Cheesehead blog, after all. Yay, cheddar. Go, gouda.
One of the first blog-based books, the anthology Special Plans examines Feith's role in misleading America into war. Buy from 
It was the oddest thing; I tuned in to the Bears' game and between last week and this, someone apparently kidnapped the entire team and replaced them with actual professional football players. You know, actual gridders. Imagine my surprise! I'm sure Lovey will make a ruthless search for the actual Bears and have them all back in uniform by next week. I'm not sure how to deal with the lack of embarrassment on national TV, but I guess I'll get over it.
Posted by: RAM | December 29, 2009 at 07:23
You'll never walk Provalone.
Posted by: Elspeth Ravenwind | December 29, 2009 at 07:57
RAM, for some inexplicable reason, the Vikings can only suck when they play in the night "feature" game. Bodes really well for their performance in the playoffs, doesn't it?
Long time suffering, knew the disappointment was a coming Vikings fan.
Posted by: leinie | December 29, 2009 at 09:06
Leinie, we tried to warn you. This is what happens. It gets late in the season, Favre starts wishing he'd retired after all, starts kicking up trouble off the field, and everything falls apart, and he throws six interceptions in a playoff game or something. We've watched it happen for years while the football announcers who were deep-throating him earlier in the season are suddenly MIA.
When he's good he's very, very good and when he's bad it's everybody else's fault.
A.
Posted by: Athenae | December 29, 2009 at 10:19
Never thought I'd say this as a Saints fan, but thank you, Bears. Season ain't over yet.
Posted by: liprap | December 29, 2009 at 10:52
We gotta have something to pull us through this bitter, cold Ouachita Parish winter. It's damned near 60 degrees up here. Go Saints!!
Posted by: mass | December 29, 2009 at 13:22
and then 'DA bears' beat the vikings.
Posted by: pansypoo | December 29, 2009 at 13:41
I got nothin', 'cept I sure hope the Cowboys beat the Eagles.
Posted by: The Other Sarah | December 29, 2009 at 17:34
This Cheesehead is still savoring last night's Bears win.
Man NEVER thought I'd say that.....
Anyway....BwahHaaaHaaa
Posted by: scout | December 29, 2009 at 19:04
Damn, he caught a bad case of the assumes. The end is priceless. I feel like doin a Nyehhhhhh! like Louie DePalma from Taxi.
Posted by: Vinny | December 29, 2009 at 19:27