First Draft

Weekend Question Thread: Spring, Sprung

Are you growing anything this season?

A.

Saturday Blogwhoring Thread

Post away.

A.

They're Wary of Stupidity

Not of market research, kitten:

Media consultant Amy Gahran in Boulder, Colorado, has an entirely different take on the matter. On Poynter Online, she says the Tribune survey didn't go far enough. As for "the distrust of marketing. . . so deeply ingrained in traditional mainstream newsroom culture," Gahran asserts, "I'd dare say that it's a big reason why news organizations are struggling for relevance and revenue these days. It's hard to update your business model when an important part of your organization is inherently wary of market research."

I don't think most journalists are distrustful of marketing. I think they're distrustful of the completely crap notion that it's what's in the paper that matters more than where the paper is and who knows about it. For years, for fucking decades, we've been told that if we covered this and not that, that and not this, it would make all the difference in the world. Now we're finding out that we've been shuffling and reshuffling and working our asses off, and the only thing that really counts is how much debt Sam Zell was willing to take on to buy himself a shiny. So it's not distrust of marketing.

It's distrust of bullshit, because reporters did their jobs right for years, only to see executive ass-sucking weasels and starfucking columnists get rich and good work get shot, and somehow there's always money for a survey or a branding study or a consultancy but never any to do challenging journalism, so really, just shove it, because that's all I've got after a double-scotch-rocks at the end of an absolutely bitching 18-hour day. None of this is fixing the problem. It's not even rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, right? It's like ... polishing the doorknob on that one stateroom on level six.

Schmucks.

A.

Quitting Time Booster Shot

Batman Garage Sale with Adam West from Adam West

Welcome to the QTBS, where just like Adam West's garage sale, you never know what you're going to find.

- Just got back from the matinee of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. If you have any interest in seeing about $762 billion in special effects, Liev Schreiber as a major bad-ass or Hugh Jackman’s pee-pee (however briefly), you need to see this film. If you’re less impressed by brooding loaners and an Asian guy who can shoot a flea off a dog’s back at 10,000 meters, you can skip it. In my book, it was totally worth it. Next up: Star Trek.

- The best part about this movie was the overarching music. Same can be said for the Star Trek trailer. Maybe that’s what the Bushies got wrong with the whole torture thing: It wasn’t set to decent music (Hell, music even made Mel Gibson’s disembowelment in “Braveheart” work). Well, here’s the definitive waterboard song. Enjoy.

- Reason 1,242,634,643,131 to hate the Chicago Tribune.

- Welcome to the party, pal…

- From the “Is We Learning, Yet?” department: Administration officials at BU have been hiding copies of the campus paper because of the stories the paper has been running on their proudest med student, Phil Markoff (a.k.a. the Craigslist Killer). Of course, the student workers used digital media to not only alert the paper to this act of suppression but to also inform the rest of the world about it. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere an administrator will figure out that the more you try to suppress stuff like this, the worse the backlash is going to be. We used to have a saying at the student paper I advised: “It’s not our fault you ended up in the police blotter.”

- Speaking of the Craigslist killer, apparently, his wedding is on hold. In the understatement of the year, his fiancée’s spokeman noted, “it is obvious the way the case is developing that the plans cannot go forward.”

- Something from the “Deck Chairs on the Titanic” File: The NYT reports that Richard Besser looks really good on TV while explaining how the Swine Flu Pandemic is going to kill us all…

- Apparently some schools are trying to dumb down the smart classes. This would likely explain some of the people I’ve been dealing with during office hours…

- Jesus, is there anything out there that’s healthy that’s NOT going to kill us? To hell with this, I’m going home and eating a peanut butter and raw Mexican bacon sandwich with a spinach and alfalfa sprout salad.

If I’m alive after that, I’ll be back next week. Thanks for letting me share your air.

Doc

The Penis Mobile

Who can forget their first car?

----

The first car that I tend to claim as mine was a 1979 Ford Thunderbird, which was so 1979 that pimps were stopping me and saying, “Bro, that car just ain’t right.” Dad bought it from a guy he knew to give me something to learn on when I was 15. Since he drove the station wagon and Mom couldn’t figure out the complex way in which you start a Ford (she was a GM lady), the car was essentially mine.

However, the first car that had my name on the coveted pink slip was a Pontiac Firebird. Red. Of course. I bought it from Dad who had apparently finished his mid-life crisis and acquiesced to the car of the late-life crowd, the Cadillac. For something like four years, I paid him $100 a month, which he would dutifully check off of a payment schedule posted in my room back home. My folks could have given the car to me, but felt this was yet another way to teach me the value of something. It worked. When I paid off the final installment, I drove around on the freeway for about an hour, feeling the wind whipping through my hair (I still had some at the time).

Many other folks have bemoaned the loss of the Pontiac division this week and with good reason. Job loss, loyal customers getting jobbed and the general sense that we’re giving up all seemed to flow forth. Some reports have cast this move as GM lopping off limbs to save the company’s torso for its greed-filled executives. To be fair, I haven’t bought a domestic car in nearly a decade, so I’m sure I’m partially to blame for these closures.

Still, I fondly remember that car and all its two-door, V-8, bat-out-of-hell glory seemed to represent.

Hot cars for college guys were supposed to be like Spanish Fly. The first time the Missus saw the car, I figured she’d be impressed. Instead, she dubbed it “The Penis Mobile” for its supple shaping and the sense I was overcompensating for something. Friends of mine with a better sense of car savvy called it “The Rocket” after having dubbed me “The Rocketeer” for one particularly insane ride in which I drove 70 miles in 42 minutes. (For the record, I didn’t do it in the Firebird. I was driving Dad’s old Chevy Celebrity. Go figure.) Neither name stuck, but “The Penis Mobile” became part of our group’s lexicon.

Winters with that car were particularly painful, as it had the back-end weight of Kate Moss. The thing would fishtail on about two flakes of snow and that was before you put it into gear. I ended up taking Dad’s weight bench out of his workout room one year, stealing all the weights off of it and loading them into the trunk of the car. It didn’t help the traction much, especially since the car was already about three inches off the ground. The noise made when plastic scrapes the asphalt while driving down a steep driveway was my like a soundtrack to my life at that point.

Still, it never failed me. One time, my boss at the newspaper sent me down a two-lane highway in the middle of a blizzard on an assignment. The goal? To pick up photos of three people who had died in a horrible crash earlier that day on that same two-lane highway when the roads were much better. I was going about 35 miles per hour and no one was passing me. The snow was scraping the undercarriage of the car and it was so loud, I couldn’t hear the stereo. Suddenly, some jerkbag in an SUV behind me was honking and flashing his lights and gesturing that I should move more quickly. When I failed to do so, he tried passing on the left, swerved in front of me and over-corrected into the ditch. The Firebird, however, never wavered.

In the 15-plus moves I made during college, I got through most of them with the Firebird, cramming my crates of crap and parts of a rickety futon into the back of it. The car developed serious problems after being used as a pack mule/U-Haul, including some issues with the tailgate seal. This meant the occasional spring rainstorm would fill the depths of my trunk with water. I’d often get out of work at 2 a.m., see drops of rain on the windshield and then spend the next half hour bailing out the trunk with a margarine cup. The thing smelled like a tuna boat in dry dock for the three days after that. The compression springs in the front had failed as well, so when I had to change the plugs or the oil, I’d need a broom to prop the hood open.

But it was mine.

When the steering started to go and the transmission finally started to fail, the Missus and I went looking for a new car. We weren’t married at the time, but it felt like a transition to married life was occurring. We swapped out a car that had such lousy back seats that they would give a dwarf leg cramps for an SUV that felt like an airplane hangar. The touchy gas pedal and unbridled speed was traded in for something that seemed to go from 0-60 in a month and a half. The winter sliding gave way to the sureness of four-wheel drive. Rebellion was replaced by responsibility.

As GM shutters its Pontiac plants, I’m sure gear heads across the nation are also reflecting on their beloved muscle cars. From the GTOs to the Firebirds to the Trans Ams, Pontiac seemed to represent a feeling of freedom. Many of its cars were irresponsibly poor in adverse conditions and lousy on gas mileage, but to own one was to walk with a swagger.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the fact that I can haul, literally, a ton of shit (we just filled the garden with about 50 bags of cow manure) and that the snow doesn’t phase me. Still, on warm days when the sun hangs low in the sky and the radio has something particularly Fog Hat-esque on, it’s hard not to long for the days of the Rocket, a long stretch of untamed road and the hair the wind used to blow through.

Friday Ferretblogging

They follow me around in the morning. Every time I get up to get a cup of coffee or a donut or anything, they're right there, hoping I'll drop some food they can scarf. It's like being stalked by dust mops.



A.

Reports: Souter to Retire

From NYT:

WASHINGTON — Justice David H. Souter has indicated that he plans to retire at the end of the term in June, giving President Obama his first appointment to the Supreme Court, three people informed about the decision said Thursday night.

Justice Souter, who was appointed by a Republican president, George Bush, but became one of the most reliable members of the court’s liberal wing, has grown increasingly sour on Washington and intends to return to his home state, New Hampshire, according to the people briefed on his plans. His decision was first reported by National Public Radio.

Oh, Jesus, This Too?

Obama had to go and talk last night about how he already had a lot of shit on his plate:

WASHINGTON – Justice David Souter is planning to retire after more than 19 years on the Supreme Court, giving President Barack Obama his first chance to fill a vacancy on the high court.

The White House has been told that Souter will retire in June, when the court finishes its work for the summer, a source familiar with his plans said Thursday night. He almost certainly would remain on the bench until a successor is confirmed.

The source spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak for Souter.

Souter had no comment Thursday night, a Supreme Court spokeswoman said.

Souter's retirement is unlikely to alter the ideological balance on the closely divided court because Obama is certain to replace the liberal-leaning justice with someone with similar views.

A.

It's a Tool, Tools

Tools:

I'm still thinking about the query put to me by Jay Levine for his report earlier this week on whether Twitter was contributing to swine flu hysteria.

Just to expand on my thoughts . . . some of which Levine included in his own reporting.

First, I haven't been able to determine if panic is appropriate or not. So there's that.

Second, yes, I'm sure Twitter is contributing to hysteria and a lot of falsehoods floating around.

But so what?

There will always be reckless users of any communication technology. After all, the New York Times and the Washington Post created a panic about Weapons of Mass Destruction that is still killing American soldiers.

Conspiracy theories about 9/11 flourished quite well before Twitter was a gleam in any texter's eye.

Orson Welles caused a panic with his infamous War of the Worlds radio broadcast.

Millions of Americans still believe Al Gore claimed to have invented the Internet, among other patently false statements put in his mouth by the mainstream media.

And there was that whole tulip thing in Holland. You get the idea.

I don't dispute that today's technologies can spread misinformation faster, wider and more amplified than ever. But what are you going to do about it? You can't outlaw Twitter and the like; instead you have to engage it.

It is more incumbent than ever for journalists to do so; their value has actually gone up even if that isn't yet reflected in business structures either crumbling or in their infancy.

Technology is generally neutral. That's not to say the nature of technology doesn't shape messages - that was Marshall McLuhan's central insight. But what's important is how responsible messengers combat the reckless ones.

So, for example, the World Health Organization and Centers for Disease Control and so on have to be on networks like Twitter during these kinds of times. They should be Twittering the hell out of everyone with the facts as they see them.

This is, again, why there is a real opportunity for journalists to stake an online claim - people generally want and need news sources they can trust.

In a world of so many voices, brand authority is crucial.

Expanding on this, if you cede that brand authority to someone else, like, say, a news site, you can't then come around and bitch and complain that nobody listens to you anymore. We're busy people, in America. We're working like six jobs each and driving kids to soccer. We don't have time to listen to anybody who's not demanding to be listened to. It's why I get on newspapers for their marketing and distribution operations. If you aren't shoving yourself in my face in about five different ways, chances are I'm not seeing you.

A.

Is an Open Mic Night Ever a Good Idea?

PBS wants your questions for David Brooks. Of those posted so far, I like "DOES MICHELLE OBAMA MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A WUSS, WUSSY-BOY?" best:

You have been bitingly dismissive about Michelle Obama's toned and often revealed arms, naming her biceps "Thunder and Lightning" and suggesting it was time for her to "put them away." In the whirlwind of journalistic controversy surrounding her occasional choice to go sleeveless, pictures of other bare-armed first ladies in years gone by have surfaced, most notably Jackie Kennedy in her official White House portrait. These were taken in older times when dress codes were generally more formal and modest, and yet in their day, they inspired no such controversy. I am left wondering if this is because the arms of these women were delicate appendages hanging gracefully in repose, not the toned, strong, and capable-looking arms of our current first lady.

My question is threefold:
1. Do you think it is the (arguably enviable) musculature of Michelle Obama's arms that inspires discomfort in some people (yourself included), and not the exposure itself? In other words, if her arms were simply thin and not defined, would her sleeveless-ness even be an issue?
2. If yes to the above, do you think any person's optimum fitness will always inspire criticism in some who are less fit because it makes them feel inferior? Or does is it optimum fitness in women specifically, because women are not supposed to be stronger than men?
3. It seems a loaded question, but it is an earnest one and I would appreciate your thoughtful response: if she were white and blond (oh, heck, let's throw in 'republican,' too), and dressed the exact same way, do you think Michelle Obama would have inspired this kind of criticism? Is there a kind of "How dare you?" element to this whole thing?

A.

Happy Joey Photo

For no reason whatsoever.

From the maniacs at Biden_Daily, about which TJ was asking in the van last night.

A.

Best Question

Good reporter. Have a cookie. At 7:28 in, Andre Showell from BET points out that, you know, some parts of America have been in a recession for half a damn century, while middle-class white people pretended they didn't exist, so let's have some economic recovery that actually helps them this time around:



A.

Lindsey Finds A Nut

NYT:

Senator Lindsay Graham, Republican of South Carolina, said: “We are not losing blue states and shrinking as a party because we are not conservative enough. If we pursue a party that has no place for someone who agrees with me 70 percent of the time, that is based on an ideological purity test rather than a coalition test, then we are going to keep losing.”

Linds, pet. The problem is that people don't like Republicans anymore. The problem isn't that you don't have the right mix of pseudo-fascists and actual fascists who carry I AM A FASCIST cards and goose step to their beds at night. The problem isn't that people disagree 30 percent of the time. The problem is that for 40 years you people have been stoking racism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, anti-intellectualism and a general sense that if you drank this kind of cola and wore this kind of clothing you could come to the sleepover.

You were doing it in order to win elections, and I get that, but the problem is people believed it and now you have this following of rabid marmosets who chew off their own legs when you forget to distract them with something shiny on a string. The teabagging set believed your bullshit and they show up at the polls now, so you either have to give them up or you have to stop acting like it's uncouth they like you. These are the choices you've given yourself.

In a way, it still seems like kind of a fluke, that America finally got fucked enough for this crap not to work anymore. I still shudder to think about Huckabee as the nominee because his folksy thing is just good enough that maybe the press would have fallen for him as the "regular guy," I mean, he's evil but he's not an idiot. I shudder to think if McCain's campaign had been smarter, because it still seems like we got away with something, having gotten most people to the point where they weren't having it anymore.

But they aren't having it anymore, and that's what this whole story about rebranding and expanding the tent doesn't get. Later in the story:

"Do you really believe that we lost 18-to-34-year-olds by 19 percent, or we lost Hispanic voters, because we are not conservative enough?” he said. “No. This is a ridiculous line of thought. The truth is we lost young people because our Republican brand is tainted.”

You lost young people because you suck. You lost young people not because of the branding or because you had too few pseudo-fascists but because young people figured out that you basically hated them and their biracial gay friends from France or whatever, with their iPhones, and they looked around at all your true-bue conservative leading lights, like fucking Box Turtle John and Huckaputz, and Jonah, and said, um, we'll be down the hall where they're not mocking poor people for being poor. That's not a problem you can fix by coming up with a new slogan.

Though the portion of the economy that does branding studies and marketing campaigns thanks you for your stimulus.

Schmucks.

A.

Personally...

...I wouldn't mind a little "European Socialism."

Presidential Press Conference Crack Van

Posts in the van belong to their posters. Please check around your seat for belongings prior to exiting the van. In honor of BuggyQ joining the First Draft revolutionary collective, she gets the wheel until she crashes or gets sick of us, whichever comes first.

Update: Van closed. Thank you all for being surprising, troubling, humbling and enchanting guests!

A.

Why we fight, reason #96,147

Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-Homophobistan), on the House floor earlier today:  

 

via Media Matters

UPDATED:  The Matthew Shepherd Bill, Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act (H. R. 1913), was passed in the House of Representative this afternoon (despite the actions of people like Rep. Foxx)  249 to 175.  If approved by the Senate, the bill will add sexual orientation, gender identity, gender and disability to the categories included in existing federal hate crimes law and would allow local governments who are unable or unwilling to address hate crimes to receive assistance from the federal government.  

The Senate version of the bill is S.909, sponsored by Sen. Edward Kennedy.   Rep. John Conyers sponsored the House bill. 

flickr.gov

Geeky I know, but I love that the White House has a flickr account.  It features the First 100 Days-Delivering on Change behind-the-scenes photos by Pete Souza, some of which were released earlier this week, also available now at whitehouse.gov.  Available for download under Creative Commons license,too! 

 

John McCain's First 100 Days

Attempt to imagine:

Asked about his testy relations with Congress during his lone prime-time press conference (which scored near-record low ratings) in late February, McCain retrieved one of his musty jokes from mothballs as he cracked, "To quote Chairman Mao, `It's always darkest before it's totally black.'" The beleaguered McCain congressional relations team printed up T-shirts, which they still periodically display on trips to Capitol Hill, with the inscription, "Is it totally black yet?" It is ironic that McCain, the first president elected directly from the Senate in 48 years and a legislator known for his willingness to work with Democrats in the quest for compromise, is well on his way to becoming the most veto-prone president since Harry Truman, casting 13 during his first 14 weeks in office.

A.

A National Conversation About Race

Remember when the Chicago Tribune was gonna have one?

"[T]he Trib . . . managed to do something I thought impossible in the year 2009 in the city of Michelle and Barack," Lowell Thompson writes in a letter to the paper today. "Its staffers had written a whole magazine titled 'Art in Chicago' without a single image of or by a black artist."

You can bet that if the entire magazine featured black artists without a single white person, the editors would have noticed.

A.

Van?

Up for a van tomorrow night? It's been a while, we could haul it out, give it a good spring cleaning.

A.

'Officer Insaney McShootYouNow'

And another track is added to Michelle Malkin's inner porn library.

A.

Go Look at what you helped to do

Back in October of 2006 I sent an email to Athenae which started with: "OK I have another idea....What do you think of the idea of trying to put together a First-Draft Krewe to go down to New Orleans for a weekend and gut a home?"

Athenae loved the idea and so did you. Some of you joined the Krewe and went to NOLA, while others of you donated money and supplies to make it all possible. And many more sent words of support. Here is the link to Athenae's post on the gutting of the home at 1773 Sere Street pictured below:

The home was in pretty bad shape and honestly I thought it would end up being razed.

I was so wrong.

Sinfonian, who was a member of the Krewe, was in NOLA today and visited 1773 Sere Street and what he saw is just amazing...

GO LOOK.

Sinfonian has a great post on the Rest of the Story. And you First-Drafters helped in getting it started.

How Much Did John Gibson's Haircut Cost?

I demand to know.

A.

Tuesday Afternoon "Whatcha Readin’?" Thread

They always tell you that when writing, write what you know.  Well, I know books.  Not all of them (yet, more’s the pity) but I always have at least one going, often more (right now it’s about 5, 1 fiction, 4 non-fiction).  So I thought it’d be fun to tell you what I’m reading right now, and find out what all of you are reading, since I’m always looking for the next good read.

My non-fiction read at present is Founding Faith:  Providence, Politics, and the Birth of Religious Freedom in America, by Steven Waldman (ISBN-13:  978-1400064373).  I’m big into history (no surprise, it being what I teach), and I picked this one up to get myself back in the American history mode (till my U.S. History didn’t make this term…sigh…).

I’ve been working my way through this one since January, dipping in and out as the spirit moves me (luckily, its structure lends itself to reading in installments).  Until now, I’d spent most of my Founding Fathers energies on Adams (only one letter off from Adama—coincidence?  I think not…).  But the FF I’m most intrigued by after reading this is Madison.

more after the jump

Happy Democrat Photo: Sebelius Edition

Congratulations, Madam Secretary:

A.

Specter switch

Arlen Specter announced he is switching to the Democratic Party. His statement also included this:

My change in party affiliation does not mean that I will be a party-line voter any more for the Democrats that I have been for the Republicans. Unlike Senator Jeffords’ switch which changed party control, I will not be an automatic 60th vote for cloture. For example, my position on Employees Free Choice (Card Check) will not change. 

Whatever my party affiliation, I will continue to be guided by President Kennedy’s statement that sometimes Party asks too much. When it does, I will continue my independent voting and follow my conscience on what I think is best for Pennsylvania and America.

Ahem...tap, tap...is this thing on?

Good morning, First Drafters!  I had quite a shock last night when I got an e-mail from the remarkable Athenae asking if I would be willing to take on the Tuesday guest post slot.  I am, without a doubt, deeply honored to be asked.  I'll do my best to live up to the high standards that have been set around here, but Oyster left some big shoes to fill.

So here I am this morning, suddenly transformed from pseudonymous commenter to pseudonymous guest blogger, and, in the immortal words of Bert Lahr, "Shucks, folks, I'm speechless!"

We'll see how long that lasts...

Until I find words, here's a really cool link for those of you as fascinated by the swine flu as I am:

CDC Swine Flu Page

Isn't it nice to actually get useful information from the government?

Swine Flu: The Internet's Fault

Seriously, CNN:

Some observers say Twitter -- a micro-blogging site where users post 140-character messages -- has become a hotbed of unnecessary hype and misinformation about the outbreak, which is thought to have claimed more than 100 lives in Mexico.

"This is a good example of why [Twitter is] headed in that wrong direction, because it's just propagating fear amongst people as opposed to seeking actual solutions or key information," said Brennon Slattery, a contributing writer for PC World. "The swine flu thing came really at the crux of a media revolution."

I had my hands full killing journalism. Now you want me to kill, you know, pigs, and people? I'm one not very energetic girl, here. Gimme a break. Also:

A.

The First One Hundred Days!!!

Is it me or is the idea of "grading" the president just something stupid the cable people cooked up to give themselves something to talk about so they wouldn't have to talk about boring old policy and news and the law and stuff?

Does Obama deserve an A? A B? A C+? Who the hell cares? I'll take my praise or criticism of the president the same way I take it of anything else: on an as-needed basis, when he does something nice or something tooly. Why do we need a designated grading period?

A.

Like Watching a Dog Do a Math Problem

Richard Cohen, ladies and gentlemen:

On April 16, President Obama released the now-infamous torture memos along with a covering statement that said the CIA's old interrogation methods not only failed to "make us safer" but undermined "our moral authority." A week later, a woman holding the hand of a child walked into a throng in Baghdad and blew herself up. Apparently she had not heard of our new moral authority.

So, wait, releasing the memos was supposed to stop all terrorism ever? DAMN, no wonder people are so upset about them, because that hasn't worked at all!

If the threat of torture works -- if it has worked at least once -- then it follows that torture itself would work. Some in the intelligence field, including a former CIA director, say it does, and I assume they say this on the basis of evidence. They can't all be fools or knaves.

Why not? There's no shortage of them at the Washington Post.

But it is important to understand that abolishing torture will not make us safer. Terrorists do not give a damn about our morality, our moral authority or what one columnist called "our moral compass." George Bush was certainly disliked in much of the world, but the Sept. 11 attacks were planned while Bill Clinton was in office, and he offended no one with the possible exception of the Christian right.

Hah hah hah ... wait. What? This argument is stuffed so full of straw you might as well stand it up in a field to scare the crows away. Obama didn't say releasing the memos would make us safer, he said torture didn't make us safer. Does a girl with a web site really have to explain the difference to a Washington Post columnist? Also, I just have to jump in to juxstapose a few sentences here:

If the threat of torture works -- if it has worked at least once -- then it follows that torture itself would work.

[snip]

If Obama thinks the world will respond to his new torture policy, he is seriously misguided. Indeed, he has made things a bit easier for terrorists who now know what will not happen to them if they get caught.

Follow all that? The threat of torture may or may not work, so knowing all the horrible things that might happen to you or not happen to you at American hands if you do terrorism will make you more likely to do terrorism, because that's not in any way the threat of torture. I don't want to hear one more word about standards and rigorous edting of newspapers from anybody at the Washington Post.

The horror of Sept. 11 resides in me like a dormant pathogen. It took a long time before I could pass a New York fire station -- the memorials still fresh -- without tearing up. I vowed vengeance that day -- yes, good Old Testament-style vengeance -- and that ember glows within me still.

SO GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or shut the hell up. God. The world is not a vengeance buffet from which you can either choose an option or bitch that there's nothing there you like. I'm sorry if the torture served up by Head Chef Bush didn't tempt your appetite, Rich, but there's plenty of places down the street for you to nosh.

I mean, really, you want vengeance? Teach some Afghan school children to read. Hell, teach some children around here to read. I don't know what the hell it is with guys like this, who seem to be waiting for the proper avenue for their holy rage, but the world is not short of stuff you can do to piss the Taliban and Al Qaeda off, not the least of which would be to stop being such a wanker all the time.

I know it is offensive to compare almost anyone or anything to the Nazis, but the Bush-era memos struck me as echoes from the past. Here, once again, were the squalid efforts of legal toadies to justify the unjustifiable. Here, again, was a lesson that needs constant refreshing: Before you can torture anyone, you must first torture the law. When that happens, we are all on the rack.

This whole column is just so typically Cohen: "I'm against torture, but not like a pussy or anything about it, because I swore eternal vengeance the likes of which the world has not seen, said vengeance to be expressed mostly in writing about how hippies suck. Torture works, in fact the threat of torture works, but releasing memos that basically point out you're fucked if Americans catch you terrorism-ing willl never work, because Obama hasn't stopped all suicide bombings ever. So there."

Schmuck.

A.

Guys?

We don't need to keep everything, okay?

She first saw her father's historic war memento about 10 years ago, then not again until April 19 when a Cook County bomb squad took the land mine after officers determined the bomb was live and confiscated it.

"I don't think it would have gone off, unless of course a vehicle had driven on it," Welch said, adding that her father never physically handled the land mine as if it was dangerous.

Her sister even snapped a photo of the bomb before police evacuated the home, as well as a few neighboring homes.

Welch and her family were cleaning out the basement of her parents' home in the 7700 block of Bristol Park Drive when they found the land mine on a work bench. DiCarlo died almost five years ago. Welch's mother and DiCarlo's wife, Mary, died earlier this month.

To be safe, Welch's family called Tinley Park police. Then the bomb squad arrived.

An Army military officer during the war, DiCarlo likely confiscated the land mine from a prisoner, Welch said. The bomb traveled from Texas, where DiCarlo was stationed in the early 1940s, to the many homes Carmen and Mary DiCarlo shared in the Southland. After Texas, they moved to Chicago, then to Harvey, to Chicago Ridge and finally to Tinley Park, where the DiCarlos lived since 1997.

Welch was somewhat surprised to find the land mine, but she said her father was a pack rat.

Obviously a very good one.

Heh.

A.

Jesus

Bloggers really have destroyed the ethical standards of journalism.

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Why Watch the Sunday Shows?

Especially when you can get the translations on Monday:

Gregory: what is Iran's goal?

Abdullah: they want to the Policemen of the Gulf

Gregory: wow then what

Abdullah: Syria is the Indian Chief, Jordan is the Construction worker, Israel is the Cowboy, Iraq is the Soldier, Lebanon is the Biker and we have Middle East Village People

Gregory: [ hums “macho man”; starts dancing ]

Abdullah: stop that

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Today on Tommy T's Obsession With The Freeperati - Vacation edition

Good morning, everyone!
First of all, my thanks to the First Draftees who contributed to Ms. DeWitt's Journalism class at Donorschoose - the hat I don't wear is off to you!

Now - let's get suited up and dip into the alleged minds of the horrendus res publica, shall we?
Don't forget - their inflammatory rhetoric is classified as propane language.

First tawdry tidbit in our hall of shame - Sarah cites Global Warming.  Freepers light farts in protest!

Climate change: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin acknowledges global warming is affecting her state
Chicago Tribune ^
Posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:47:45 AM by Sub-Driver
Climate change: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin acknowledges global warming is affecting her state But the former GOP vice presidential candidate contends gas drilling will help curb rising temperatures
By Kim Murphy | Tribune Newspapers April 15, 2009
ANCHORAGE — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin acknowledged Tuesday that global warming is harming her state but said stepped-up natural-gas production could mitigate its effects.
Palin spoke at a hearing before Interior Secretary Ken Salazar — the third of a series he is holding across the country to consider renewed oil and gas leasing on the Outer Continental Shelf.
The 2008 Republican nominee for vice president said relatively clean-burning natural gas can supplant dirtier fuels and slow the discharge of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.
"We Alaskans are living with the changes that you are observing in Washington," she said. "The dramatic decreases in the extent of summer sea ice, increased coastal erosion, melting of permafrost, decrease in alpine glaciers and overall ecosystem changes are very real to us."

For the Freepers, this must be like waking up the morning after their wedding night and finding the object of their affection standing over them with a knife and a determined look.

To: Sub-Driver

Nooooooo!!!

2 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:49:56 AM by Inyo-Mono (Had God not driven man from the Garden of Eden the Sierra Club surely would have.)

To: Sub-Driver

Huh? Say it aint so Sarah!

4 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:50:38 AM by NMEwithin

To: Inyo-Mono

Its so sad how the GOP has let rhetoric and pseudo science take a hypothesis and make it political reality..

5 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:51:01 AM by N3WBI3 (Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. How efficient of you. -- Londo Mollari)

To: Sub-Driver

So.
She’s joined Newt on the Global Warming Band Wagon.
NEXT!

7 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:51:41 AM by Dixiekraut (( Rommell...you magnificent bastard . I READ YOUR BOOK !!! ))

To: Sub-Driver

I guess I’ll have to lust after another woman from now on....

9 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:52:02 AM by mikelets456

And all this time I thought you loved her for her mind.....

To: Sub-Driver

The final nail. Palin - go away.

20 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:02:10 AM by TheBattman (Pray for our country...)

To: Sub-Driver

Well see you Sarah... If you believe this nonsense, then I have to let you go.

23 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:04:31 AM by Sprite518

To: Sub-Driver

Oh my gawd - I just can’t believe it.
Back to the hunt for true conservative candidates.

27 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:06:27 AM by WorkerbeeCitizen (The only time I want a Republican reaching across the aisle is to smack a liberal.)

There's a few "she didn't really mean it" types in Freeperville...

To: Sub-Driver

She acknowledges warming, but not as “man-made” warming.

6 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:51:12 AM by avacado

To: Sub-Driver

She acknowledges warming, but not as “man-made” warming. She’s calling their bluff. If it’s warming, then we need to develop more natural gas which has a low carbon footprint.

12 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:53:05 AM by avacado

To: Sub-Driver

I've seen some folks try to spin this as Gov Palin recognizing Global Warming, but not necessarily subscribing a human cause for it. I'm a big Palin fan, but it pains me to point out that she's talking about "greenhouse gases" and "carbon footprints" and "green energy".
She seems to have swallowed to kool-aid.

14 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:54:12 AM by ClearCase_guy (American Revolution II -- overdue)

...but the majority of the responses are like this:

To: Sub-Driver

Is she turning into a loon?

13 posted on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:54:11 AM by indylindy

....rhymes with - "June"? Nope.    "Spoon"?  Nah.   "Tune"?  Uh-uh.
I've got it!!!

"Traitor".

Well, what a wonderful way to start the day!
Lots more after the jump, soooooooo...

What Would That Be Like?

I can't imagine:

The Minnesota congresswoman takes to the floor of the House to claim that the TSA is going to start picking pro-life, pro-gun conservatives out of the security line at the airport for extra scrutiny.

Extra scrutiny at the airports? Maybe people will start throwing bricks through the windows of their houses of worship, too. Or dumping pig's blood on their doorsteps. Or sending threatening letters. Or shooting them at gas stations for the crime of dressing as they damn well please.

Maybe they'll demand their children be pulled out of school so they don't have to learn about Christian holidays, or start talking about how they shouldn't be allowed to serve in the legislature, not if they're going to demand to get sworn in on that crazy holy book of theirs.

Maybe they'll turn on the TV or the radio one day and hear some guy talking about how the government ought to count up how many of "them" are being born each year, and institute measures to correct those numbers. Maybe they'll hear talk about how many of their churches and YMCAs there are, and how every one of them poses a danger to society. Maybe they'll be so angry they'll want to fight back, but they won't be able to, because every raised voice is just a confirmation of what others think all along: that they're dangerous, and should be controlled.

What would that be like? It would be awful, right? It would be unjust. Such behavior would be a sign not only of a government but of a society gone utterly mad with rage and fear. It would be unconscionable. It would be un-American. It would be vengeful. It would be wrong.

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It's Over, Rudy

When we mentioned that Giuliani has been threatening to use his opposition to same-sex marriage as a political tool, Cumming said: "Because his political career is going so well? I'm sure he's on the money with that one. I think he's an asshole. Please quote me on that."

It ain't 2004 anymore, that's for sure.

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'Get Off Our Legs, Rush, Jeez'

Freed pirate hostages don't like being used as Rush's props. Imagine.

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