The local NBA squad has been sold to Tom Benson, car dealer, Saints owner and professional malaka. NBA Commish David Stern has decided to bend his past rule about not allowing nickname changes when a team moves, which is how we got the Hornets, Utah got the Jazz and Memphis got the Grizzlies.
In short, the Hornets will be no more after this season and that's fine with me: I got tired of local sports guys calling them the bees and saying that the Arena was the hive. Hornets, of course, live in a nest but that sounds too birdy for our sports peeps.
Anyway, I'm in favor of reviving the name of NOLA's old minor league team, the Pelicans. I like critter names and it also represents coastal renewal and all sorts of groovy stuff. Do any of y'all have any ideas of a more NOLA-centric name for our hoops team?
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I've been leaning more and more toward Pelicans myself.. although you barely see it mentioned among the rather frightening collection of horrible ideas people are throwing around. It's got class, it's got history, it's New Orleans enough without being obnoxiously so.
Remember also that Benson tried to sabotage the Zephyrs' entry into the NOLA market by buying his own AA team and purchasing the rights to the name Pelicans. The AAA Zs were able to bigfoot him out of that deal but it's possible he still owns the trademark.
Other than that I've been mostly been coming up with joke names, The New Orleans Basketball Reasons, The New Orleans Marsh Fire, The Utah Jazz, etc. But my only other semi-serious thought was to call them Ramblers. That way both of our sports franchises can also represent funeral songs.
Posted by: jeffrey | April 17, 2012 at 13:59
My suggestion of the "New Orleans Potholes" has met with widespread disenchantment at all levels of government and business.
Posted by: Kevin | April 17, 2012 at 14:02
It's really criminal that Utah got the name Jazz. If anyone should have a team named the Jazz it's New Orleans. There is nothing jazzy about Utah. Trust me, I've been there several times. Since the beehive is an important symbol to Mormons, maybe y'all can swap monikers.
Posted by: Southern Beale | April 17, 2012 at 14:05
Uh, SB? The Utah Jazz were originally the NOLA Jazz. The team moved, the name stayed. It's why you also have silly-ass shit like the LA Lakers, formerly of Minneapolis.
I'd call them the New Orleans Bounty Hunters, just to fuck with the NFL.
Posted by: Jude | April 17, 2012 at 14:39
In honor of the late Ashley Morris, I suggest the New Orleans FYYFFs.
Posted by: Lex | April 17, 2012 at 14:42
I love it, Lex. BUT Benson was one of the fucking fucks that Ashley fucking ranted about so...
Posted by: Adrastos | April 17, 2012 at 14:50
Well, if Jude can call them the Bounty Hunters to fuck with the NFL, then I can call them the FYYFFs to fuck with Benson. Hmph. *pouts*
Posted by: Lex | April 17, 2012 at 15:39
Uh, SB? The Utah Jazz were originally the NOLA Jazz.
Oh that explains it. Duh. Well, I don't follow the NBA (obviously). I'm a hockey fan.
Posted by: Southern Beale | April 17, 2012 at 16:33
Well, how about the Jam?
You know, like a jam session. Like jazz musicians jave.
Also like when you jam that ball in the hole.
But what do I know? Hockey's my game, not basketball.
Posted by: Jenny Pylon | April 17, 2012 at 17:26
Basic rules:
1) It has to be something plural. I'm sick of "Jazz" and "Magic" and such where we have to refer to the team as an "it" nickname.
2) It can't lead to a stupid mascot (a turkey).
3) It can't end up being racist ("Bucks" was really close, but it was better than the alternative: The Robins; The Gorillas; or anything close to "The Redskins.") or completely insensitive (The Hurricanes; The Fighting Katrinas)
4) It has to at least be somewhat associated with the area (Utah Jazz is like Jumbo Shrimp or Real Artificial Butter).
Given what I know about NOLA, I can't think of much but I'm imagining some of the following:
- The Crescents
- The Swamp Foxes
- The Showboats (I know the USFL got there first)
- The Parishioners
- The Bayou Battlers
Dunno
Posted by: Doc | April 17, 2012 at 18:45
It would be nice to see something Katrina related, showing how the city has survived. Then again, maybe folks down there would prefer to forget.
Posted by: Southern Beale | April 17, 2012 at 19:13
I know Charlotte already has the Bobcats, but how about The New Orleans Cats...
I thought maybe Hep Cats, but...I dunno--a little out of date.
Or to go mildly esoteric, The NOLA Jax.
Saw a comment in the online Pic, the Flambeaux, which I could live with.
Posted by: MichaelF | April 17, 2012 at 19:32
@Doc - I'd be careful of Swamp Fox.
Francis Marion, aka the Swamp Fox, was Revolutionary war hero in the lowcounty of South Carolina. Then 2 CSA leaders were also given the moniker.
Wonder if you could use something from the Cajun angle. OR something from the Battle of New Orleans.
Posted by: MapleStreet | April 17, 2012 at 19:46
Maybe bring back the old ABA name Buccaneers...
Posted by: MichaelF | April 17, 2012 at 20:30
I'd go with the critter theme, but the one thing that New Orleans has more of (commercially exploited) than anyplace I've ever seen is alligator ...
Posted by: BlackSheep0ne | April 17, 2012 at 22:18
Gators is not a viable name because we hate the Florida Gators here in the Gret Stet of Louisiana. That's why I am a Pelican man.
Posted by: Adrastos | April 17, 2012 at 22:26
I got two: Da Yats; The T'NOSAs
Posted by: Mass | April 18, 2012 at 04:27
What about the Nutria ?
Those beasts are unbeatable and will take over no matter what you do.
Posted by: MapleStreet | April 18, 2012 at 13:07
Pelicans is a lovely name for a ball team playing in a ball park, not on the hard wood, or asphalt for playground kids. That's why playing the game made for "The boys of summer" indoors was always the dumbest thing to ever happen in sports, next to going ga, ga over Drew Brees. That seems plain enough to me, no matter the historical connection of the Pels with New Orleans and all that.
Basketball teams need a hard-ass arena ready name to match the hard surface they play on. For instance, Pistons, Bulls, Mavericks, Bullets, etc. So, here goes, you want New Orleans, and hard-ass swagger with the basketball scoring method built-in, here it is: The New Orleans Shot-Gun.
Posted by: rousseau | April 18, 2012 at 17:40
Going ga ga over Drew Brees is a bad thing? Good way to get your ass kicked in NOLA, Rousseau.
There are plenty of NBA teams without hard ass names including two of the most successful: the Lakers and the Celtics.
Posted by: Adrastos | April 18, 2012 at 22:14
The Muffalettas
Posted by: FeralLiberal | April 19, 2012 at 06:28
The New Orleans Pearls.
What's better than fierce looking oyster on the uniforms?
Posted by: milo | April 19, 2012 at 12:03
Whoa! Aren't we touchy? I just love sensitive people, especially stupid ones. FYI Adrastos, none other than Julius Caesar would disagree most decidedly with your characterization of the Celts as not being hard ass. If you could spell history, you, presumably, would know better than to say something so ignorant. Caesar, one of this world's greatest ever warriors, as well as reformer, came damn near as close to losing his ass to the ferocious, yet somehow not "hard ass" Celts, as he ultimately did to the conspiratorial, aristocratic anti-Republican senators, who ultimately snuck-up on him and did him in. Try reading more than blogs, idiot. As far as Lakers being non hard ass, perhaps you have already forgotten how close Pontchatrain alone came to swallowing the whole of NOLA in the federal flood. That alone bumps you up a notch from ignorant to out-and-out stupid. For an unforgettable lesson in the tough nature of that body of water, try letting a thunder storm overtake you unexpectedly on a fishing trip. Good luck, ahole. By the way, you will need the luck should you or that other lame ass, Dewey Breeze, want to try your hand at kicking this Irish Channel river rat's ass.
Posted by: rousseau | April 19, 2012 at 16:29
Buccaneers.
Posted by: dp | April 19, 2012 at 17:46
I love how every suggestion that is not "Mormon" or "Latter-day Saints" is horrible.
Posted by: Superdeformed | April 19, 2012 at 18:49
@Rousseau: And you claim that I'm touchy? Oh well, I know a troll when I see one and I know better than to feed a troll.
Posted by: Adrastos | April 19, 2012 at 22:12
Just the thing to say when you've nothing to say: perfect. Like swallowing your tongue while eating your own words
Posted by: rousseau | April 20, 2012 at 06:35
Better late than never.
The New Orleans Krewe
Quintessentialy NOLA
Posted by: FeralLiberal | April 21, 2012 at 21:07