PBJ: Get Smart?

 The GOP post-mortems are coming fast and furious. This unintentionally funny one comes from my rabidly ambitious erstwhile Governor, Bobby Jindal:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Monday called on Republicans to “stop being the stupid party” and make a concerted effort to reach a broader swath of voters with an inclusive economic message that pre-empts efforts to caricature the GOP as the party of the rich.

In his first interview since his party’s electoral thumping last week, Jindal urged Republicans to both reject anti-intellectualism and embrace a populist-tinged reform approach that he said would mitigate what exit polls show was one of President Barack Obama’s most effective lines of attack against Mitt Romney.

“We’ve got to make sure that we are not the party of big business, big banks, big Wall Street bailouts, big corporate loopholes, big anything,” Jindal told POLITICO in a 45-minute telephone interview. “We cannot be, we must not be, the party that simply protects the rich so they get to keep their toys.”

This is,uh, rich coming from PBJ who as Governor has waged war on public education, and is so taxophobic that he wouldn't originally sign off on keeping tobacco taxes high enough to discourage smoking. In fact, his entire political philosophy-if you want to call it that-boils down to this: Taxes bad; creationism good; Jindal awesome.

On the rare occasions he was in Baton Rouge in 2012, PBJ ran roughshod over the LSU Board of Supervisors, fired recalcitrant system President John Lombardi and voucherized primary and secondary public education. It's what happens when you have a Governor who spent his school days strictly in private schools. When it comes to education, PBJ is Shiva the destroyer or perhaps even Kalki.

The mere fact that this cut-rate version of Willard the weathervane feels free to depart from *some* teawad dogma means that some changes will actually be coming to the Republican message but not its substance.

Jindal is clearly positioning himself for 2016 and he fits the GOP model for the perfect minority candidate. The party that froths at the mouth over affirmative action, practices it when it comes to candidates. True tokenism is the rule of the party: PBJ is way to the right but he has dark skin, ergo the GOP is enlightened, not racist. Whatever, dude.

The pol Jindal most reminds me of is-get ready-Willard Mittbot Romney. He's robotic, awkward and dull, dull, dull. Willard is at least good-looking whereas PBJ is the guy who could turn the nasty party into the ugly party.

Jindal has relentlessly pandered to the religious right and *that* part of his message will not change. While he criticizes the Akins and Mourdocks of his party, it's more about their verbal table manners than anything else:

“It is no secret we had a number of Republicans damage our brand this year with offensive, bizarre comments — enough of that,” Jindal said. “It’s not going to be the last time anyone says something stupid within our party, but it can’t be tolerated within our party. We’ve also had enough of this dumbed-down conservatism. We need to stop being simplistic, we need to trust the intelligence of the American people and we need to stop insulting the intelligence of the voters.”

Again, this is fascinating coming from a man who talks down to his state's electorate. PBJ tends to speak at the 4^th or 5^th grade level when addressing the people of the Gret Stet. Hence, the comparisons to Kenneth the page from 30 Rock. Kenneth has subsequently been demoted to janitor, it's a pity that the same won't happen to PBJ…

There is also no way in hell that PBJ will abandon his party's insanely retrograde positions on social issues. I think their (wide?) stances on gay rights, women's issues and tattoos and piercings are dragging them down with younger voters. I made the bit up about tattoos and piercings but PBJ would pierce his pencil dick if he thought it would get him elected without alienating his confederate base.

The coming war within the GOP should be most amusing. I'm going to sit back, pour myself a beverage and enjoy watching the freak show.

Comments

[Ricardo]

And the Baton Rouge Advocate gives him cover http://theadvocate.com/home/4427396-125/jindal-gop-needs-revamp by not linking the Politico article and never quotes his- "Republicans have to stop being the party of stupid". The Advocate sucks.

[adrastos]

Total tools of Jindalism, that is, if such a thing exists.

[Lex]

Uh, Bobby, if you have any political aspirations remaining, son, you really need to Google yourself. Fast.

[Aaaargh]

You can see the 2016 campaign strategy taking shape here. The Republicans figure, OK, the trend is clearly that voters want brown people. We have a brown person. And if the Democrats say anything nasty about him, we can call them racists!

Policy, issues, integrity, that's not what they see and not what they care about. If they can stomach running a Mormon out there as standard-bearer, they're clearly girding themselves for running a minority tool.

It's all about surface with them.

[Ricardo]

Mike Foster sure knew how to pick'm...

[MichaelF]

No way does Jindal win on a national stage. His future, unfortunately for us, is either in the Senate or in a Redumblican Cabinet, most likely Secretary of Health & Human Services.

Ugh.

The Sadvocate (along with the Manship's radio and TV stations) and Guaranty (WAFB) have touted the boy wonder for quite some time. The fawning was particularly cringe-worthy in 2003, which did provide a modest amount of Schadenfreude for both Bobby and the media when he/they lost to Blanco.

[adrastos]

Doubt if PBJ will run for Mary's seat in 2014. He'll be too busy pursuing his delusion.

[Maplestreet]

So all the repubs have to do is drop all the stuff that makes them repubs ?

Hard to believe they have **REALLY** changed while promising to make the next 4 years more obstructionism / lame duck president.

Like Aaaargh says, sounds more like they're laying in strategy for the next election.

[pansypoo]

MEANWHILE, in DC, the new Whig party DEMANDS its BEGAZI-GATE!!! bi-partisanship looks surtan.

[mass]

Of course, the Repubs think he's brilliant. then again, anybody who doesn't wake up in the morning and shit in their shoe is considered "brillaint."

Boy Genius Bobby is a clown and a religious nutter.

[Grandmère Mimi]

The Republicans should ask around about the destruction of institutions in the state, the privatizing, the lay-offs of state workers numbering 3,200, and that's not counting the 1500 who will be laid off in the state hospital system. See Advocate. Oh wait! Republicans would probably love him for all that.

The medical education programs at the flagship university LSU could possibly lose accreditation, and I'm sure there's worse to come. Oh and he does not give interviews to the local press...ever.

[thebewilderness]

Funny, Karen Hughes said pretty much the same thing a few days ago. If Republicans want to win they have got to stop repeating and explaining their Party Platform. Because it's stupid.
They simply do not learn what they are being taught.

[PurpleGirl]

Sorry, I can't help it, but every time I see PBJ I think "peanut butter and jelly".