FIRST DRAFT

Sunday Morning Video: Trekkies

I still have Star Trek on my mind. I stumbled into this documentary on cable the other day and watched it again. The fans are a bit nutty but also pretty darn intelligent, just like my readers. My favorite is the woman who is devoted to Data from TNG and calls herself a Spinerfem. Now, that's a suffix I can get behind:

 

 

Quote Of The Day: Tory Party Edition

As you may have noticed, I love British politics; especially when one of the major parties is committing seppuku. The quote comes from an unnamed close associate of David Cameron's and it is aimed at local constituency branches of the Tory Party:

“The MPs just have to do it because the associations tell them to and the associations are all mad, swivel-eyed loons.”

 Sounds like the Tea Party, doesn't it?

NOLA Notes: Mother's Day Shooting Follow Up

The good news is that they got the putrid gangbanger who opened fire on the second line in Treme. I should say alleged shooter but the case looks rock solid unless, that is, they blow it. Mayor Landrieu and Chief Serpas are spending way too much time boasting about it for my taste but that's what pols and po pos do.

NOLA blogger Deb (Big Red) Cotton is going to make it, but she's still in the hospital and faces a long and costly recovery. If you'd like to help defray her medical costs CLICK HERE.

Deb moderated the closing panel at Rising Tide 6, the one that Athenae attended. The panel included members of the TBC Brass Band who were at the second line on Mother's Day. Their gear got stomped on but otherwise they're okay. Here's the video of Deb's panel:

Rising Tide 6 - Brass Bands, New Orleans Music from Jason Berry on Vimeo.

 

Pantsed In The UK

Yeah, I know they call them trousers there but I'm following up on the Pierce/Gohmert theme. The populist right wing UKIP party is facing more scrutiny after its recent success at the polls. One of its donors is engaged in a one malaka protest against women in pants:

Nigel Farage is facing fresh embarrassment over a Ukip supporter after it emerged that one of the party's most generous donors believes that women are guilty of "hostile behaviour" by "deliberately" wearing trousers to make themselves unattractive to men.

Demetri Marchessini, a Greek-born shipping tycoon who gave Ukip £10,000 this year, made the comments in a coffee table book that features photographs of women from behind.

The millionaire teamed up with a photographer a decade ago to find "unattractive backsides", in the words of the Observer writer Liz Hoggard, on the streets of London and New York.

Marchessini wrote in Women in Trousers: A Rear View: "I adore women and want to see them looking beautiful. Everyone has the obligation to look as attractive as possible. It pains me to see women looking terrible.

"Walk along any street and you see women using trousers like a uniform every single day. This is hostile behaviour. They are deliberately dressing in a way that is opposite to what men would like. It is behaviour that flies against common sense, and also flies against the normal human desire to please."

I considered making this guy malaka of the week since he's, alas, Anglo-Greek but I could not resist the post title. I find it astonishing that he's so consumed with this allegedly unattractive sight that he published a book devoted to it. Here's another howler:

Marchessini warned that women are undermining their chances of finding a partner by wearing trousers. "The more women dress like men, the less they are attractive to men. If a man finds a woman attractive, he will find her legs sexy even if they are not perfect, simply because they are her legs. Women know that men don't like trousers, yet they deliberately wear them."

Um, um, um, I like women in trousers and I married one who wears them even though she has great legs. Deliberate pants wearing? Oy. This is just flat out weird. You would think this bozo would have better things to do with his time or money, but apparently not.

Earlier, I said that this is not a malaka of the week post. Strike that. Demetri Marchessini, shipping maggot and anti-trouser fanatic, is definitely guilty of egregious malakatude, but I'm still not changing the post title. 

Paragraph of the day

It comes from the great Charles Pierce in a post entitled Louie Gohmert Gets Pantsed:

Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, perhaps the dumbest mammal to enter a legislative chamber since Caligula's horse, and Gohmert's only the half of that, pretty much got pantsed in front of the world yesterday by Eric Holder who, while I still think he should resign, seems to be getting pleasantly fed up with the denizens of the Republican monkeyhouse. By the end of it, Gohmert was hollering incoherently, and the committee chairman, Bob Goodlatte (R-Venti) looked like he would liked have very much to have Gohmert sedated and sent to a quiet farm in Alberta for a few years.

I read this in the wee hours last night, and laughed so hard that my back fence neighbors stoppped squabbling for a minute. Not really, but I wish they had...

Friday Catblogging: Trunk Show

We have a trunk as a coffee table. It's attractive, sturdy and it's marked House of Representatives. It was a hand me down from my late boss, friend, and mentor Congressman Gillis Long who died many years ago. We used to joke about Mr. Long's remains being inside the trunk but that was in poor taste so I won't do it here. Oops, guess I just did. Never mind.

Anyway, Della Street is obvlivious to the trunk's origin story, she just likes posing on it:

Suffixgate

This is not an original observation, but I'm sick and tired of gate being apended to every political feeding frenzy that comes down the pike. Watergate was a sui generis scandal that was rooted in the sick, twisted and paranoid psyche of Tricky Dick. Gate has been stuck on everything since the Trickster declared his mother a saint, and hotfooted it to San Clemente. It is time to show gate the gate as a political suffix.

That is all.

Pulp Fiction Thursday: The Lady From Shanghai

This was one of the last times Orson Welles directed a picture at a major Hollywood studio. It's a good one, but the stories surrounding it are better than the movie itself. Orson royally pissed off Columbia Studio goniff Harry Cohn by getting Rita Hayworth to cut her hair short and dye it blond. Rita had already changed hair color from brunette to red BUT she was famous for her flowing locks. Cohn essentially blackballed Orson, which wasn't hard to do but this may have been the last nail in his career coffin.

The first image is the poster, which is kinda mundane. The lobby card is special: from the Fun House scene filmed at Playland on the Beach in San Francisco. I have fond childhood memories of it but that's all I got. it was torn down years ago.

Here's the trailer:

 

Wednesday Night Music: Baby Blue

Here's a swell cover of the Badfinger classic by the great Aimee Mann:

 

The Beltway Borg Collective

I have Star Trek on my mind. There's a lot of hype surrounding the second JJ Abrams prequel/reboot/whatever in addition to Matt Yglesias' amusing exegesis of the franchise at Slate. It's got me thinking about the Star Trek super villains, the Borg. You know, the cyborgs who assimilate their victims into a hive-like collective. You know, just like the American political media.

It was inevitable that the MSM would revive the Second Term jinx meme. It's inevitable in the same way that 2016 election stories are: they're lazy and focused only on the horse race or scandal aspects of politics.Here's a quick sound (word?) bite from one of the avatars of the Beltway Borg Collective, the WaPo's Dana Milbank:

Well, that didn’t take long.

Four months into a fresh four years, President Obama is already assuming the familiar crouch of a scandal-struck second-termer.

There it is, y'all. There's a second term curse/jinx/hex/spell or a combination thereof. What's really going on is that the news cycle has churned out a bunch of stories that the Beltway Borg Collective is lumping together. I remain convinced that the Benghazi story is phonier than a 3 dollar bill. The IRS story seems localized and undirected by the administration but it does play neatly into the mega-wingnut narrative, which is why it will have legs. I don't personally approve of what happened with the AP but GOPers are now denouncing Holder for doing something that they demanded he do last year. Of course, hypocrisy is as American as Mom, apple pie and Chevrolet.

The main point of this post, if there is one, is that our political press remains afflicted with group think and, as always, resistance is futile.

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Broadsword and the Beast

It's not exactly a mystery that I'm a hardcore Tull fan. So hardcore, in fact, that I decline to use the jarring word Jethro. Broadsword is a very underrated LP musically, but there's widespread agreement among the Tullerazzi about the brilliance of Ian McCaig's cover art. It's Ian Anderson as the beastie toting a broadsword like a dude out of The Lord of the Rings or something:

Here's the album in its entirety. I really think they should use the opening track Beastie next season on The Americans:

 

Mad Men Thread: A Rap Session About Margarine

The merger of SCDP and CGC is on, but the new agency remains a horse with no name. Hold on, that's a Seventies song. Never mind. The overall theme of Man With A Plan was power. Don started the episode busting Ted's sweaterless chops. Then he re-enacted the Story of O with Sylvia, but he ended up looking like a lost little boy who grew up in a whorehouse. Except for Sylvia's breaking if off with Don, that whole storyline left me cold even if she did look fetching in that red dress, a color that is associated in Don's mind with hookerdom. The whole thing was a skeezy trip to Snoozeville.

My bromance with Ted Chaough: I'm falling hard for Ted. He may hate being called nice but he is. Did you notice how stunned Ginsburg and Stan looked at Ted's suggesting a "little rap session about margarine?" They're not used to having a boss who sits down in the writer's room with the creatives instead of summoning them to the Draperdome.

Don may be able to out drink Ted, but the latter has his own plane and aviator glasses to boot. Ted really one-upped Don when he flew them Upstate to meet with Mohawk Air. Hmm, I wonder if Stan will get a mohawk soon? If not, I can see Bobby Draper with one in 1977 at a Clash show...

The biggest contrast between my boy Ted and Don Fucking Draper is that Ted knows who he is, and is comfortable in his own skin. It may bother Petulant Pete that he doesn't have a chair at the meeting but Ted shrugs and gives up one to placate the preppie pissant.Ted also has at least one close friend, his dying partner Gleason. He advised Ted to rope-a-dope Don and wait him out. Excellent advice. Ted's presence at Gleason's bedside is in stark contrast to Don letting his only true friend, Anna Draper, die alone.

I love Ted's Gilligan's Island formula, which baffles Don who is stuck in the 1950's. As applied to Mad Men, I see Don as the skipper, Ted as Gilligan, the Pegster as Mary Ann, Cooper as Thurston Howell, and Joan as Ginger. Yeah, I know, Don looks nothing like Alan Hale Jr but he did treat my little buddy Ted as *his* little buddy. Bottoms up.

Bob Benson: International Man of Mystery- Bob came into somewhat sharper focus when he took Joan to the ER and finagled her a Doctor. It's the first time he did someone a solid that was more than just brown nosery. I'm still unsure as to what he's really up to-my guess is that he's undercover and plans to write a tell-all book-but he's up to something. It would be interesting if he turns out to be our Joan's new love interest. I'm afraid my friend Kevin might get jealous if that's the case but he'll just have to suck it up...

My mother can go to hell and Ted Chaough can fly her there: Nobody does petulance as well as Vincent Kartheiser as Pete Campbell. He seethed with insecurity, jealousy and childish rage for much of the episode. Dealing with his demented dipsomaniacal Mother brought out the worst in Pete. I halfway expected him to kill her and stuff her body in his clothes hamper. The old girl is not as far gone as her son thinks: she noticed he had too much laundry for his crib to be anything but a fuck pad. Pied a terre, my ass.

Historical references: Who knew that margarine was invented for Louis Bonaparte aka Napoleon III? I did not. Btw, my mother was the daughter of a dairy farmer, so margarine was verboten and derided in our household as the devil's spread.She'd have been down with Ginsburg on that subject...

The most interesting parts of the tedious Don-Sylvia scenes were her reference to her son's presence in Paris during the days of rage, and the fact that Don confiscated her copy of The Last Picture Show. McMurtry denial could be a capital offense in some parts of Texas. Big Sam is not amused...

I loved the way they slid Bobby Kennedy's murder into the end of the episode.Using Pete's demented old bat of a grande dame mother as the messenger added an element of black humor to a grim situation. Pete assumed that the Kennedy boy they killed was Jack and went back to sleep.

Do It Again: Roger didn't play a large part in the episode-John Slattery directed it-but his one big scene was a doozy. He fired Burt Peterson again or is that re-fired? It gave me an earworm, which is why I'll give Steely Dan the last word:

 

NOLA Notes: Stupid and senseless

Every time I'm offline for a day, all hell breaks loose somewhere. Today it was in New Orleans. There was a second line parade in honor of Mother's Day. As you may have noticed, we love our parades. 

During the parade something very stupid and very senseless happened: shots were fired and 19 were wounded, one of whom is an acquaintance of mine, Deborah Cotton aka Big Red Cotton. Deb is a transplant from LA who has been a tireless booster of New Orleans brass band and street culture. In fact, she recently launched a web site, New Orleans Good, Good about all the things she loves about our city and its culture. Today something bad, bad, happened to her. She is apparently in stable condition and is expected to pull through, but all I can say is this: sheee-it.

Lots of people are mounting their soap boxes about this incident, some are ranting while others are trying to make sense of it. Ranting may be in order, but there's no way to make sense of something this random, stupid and senseless. It will not surprise me one bit if our Mayor and Police Chief try to blame the second line itself for the violence. They've done it before and Deb Cotton has written about that in the past, so I'll let her have the last word:

In response to shootings that occurred at second lines in '06, Superintendent Riley raised social aid and pleasure club parade permits to six times their pre-storm amount of $1,200, a fee hike that was not applied to White Mardi Gras clubs even though similar incidences of shooting have occured during their parades such as the Muses parade in ’04, the Bacchus parade in ’07, and the Krewe of Crescent City parade in ’09. The ACLU fought and won several cases on behalf of the Social Aid and Pleasure Club Task Force and parade permits for the SAPCs were eventually reduced to $1,985.

The Fox news article is not an isolated incident of a bias reporter getting it wrong. The local mainstream media in New Orleans has a long history of racial bias against the Black community in general and second line culture in specific. One would think that weekly parades which tie up traffic in large swatches of the city for four hours at a time would at the very least merit local media announcements of parade routes and times. With the exception of this blog, which I published on Nola.com before migrating it here to Gambit online, the local media by and large ignores social aid and pleasure club culture - except in instances when it attempts to equate second line parades with lawlessness. In a city that has a majority Black population, it begs the question of motivation behind the press’ wholesale omission in coverage of a century old African American tradition that hosts annual half day parades every Sunday for nine months out of the year. The fact that these events rarely get positive coverage in the mainstream media is consistent with the attitude of neglect and ostracism that catalyzed these benevolent societies back in the 19th century with their mission of providing assistance and resources to the Black community during segregation.

Sunday Morning Video- Frank Sinatra: A Man and his Music

Here's a 1966 teevee special featuring the Chairman of the Board, Antonio Carlos Jobim, and the sublime Ella Fitzgerald:

 

The Mad Men meet the Chevy Vega

It's always good to have talented readers. An email from Alex Smith made its way into my in-box the other day:

I’ve been following your Mad Men episode recaps/photo gallery posts all season and have really enjoyed them so I thought I would share something with you.

As you briefly noted this week, there was a potentially huge teaser on Episode 6 of Mad Men that revealed the new account they’ve landed for Chevy’s “secret” new car which is identified as the XP-887.  I quickly Googled “XP-887” and found out it is actually the notorious Chevy Vega.  Seems like a pretty huge development since it is their biggest account (ever maybe) and the Vega turns out to be a total lemon/bomb.

My friends and I did some quick photoshopping to a (public domain) Chevy Vega ad from the 70’s, added the cast of the show, and changed the copy to match the developing story line. Since you’re into Mad Men as well, I wanted to share the finished product with you.

The image is posted with even more information at Cantmisstv. I'm not sure, however, that it's a good idea to let Stan Rizzo drive:

Images via CC BY-SA 3.0 & CC BY 2.0. Additional data from Wikipedia and DirectSpecialTV. CMT loves Mad Men.

Malaka Of The Week: James Inhofe

Oklahoma is not okay with me. When I was still dealing with tourists in the Quarter, I could usually muster something positive to say about almost any place that they were from. There was one exception: Oklahoma. Other than being the birthplace of Will Rogers and Mickey Mantle, it's the asshole of the universe as far as I can tell. I cannot be certain since I've never even wanted to go there. This may be irrational but considering the sort of politicians Oklahoma pukes up, it inspires a a great deal of irrationality. (Yeah, I know, Louisiana gave the world Jindal and Vitter, but also Hale and Lindy Boggs, the Longs, and the eternally entertaining Edwin Edwards.) That brings me to Senator James Inhofe.

I cannot imagine why he's never been malaka of the week before. He's a climate change denying, tin foil hat wearing, dumbshit motherfucker. He's qualified, in fact, to be granted automatic entry to the malakatude hall of fame, which is not to be confused with the Cowboy Hall of Fame, which is in Inhofeville.

A few weeks ago, Inhofe was peddling a conspiracy theory about the eebil Marxist/Nazi/Mau-Mau administration buying up all the bullets in order to, uh, blow up the Second Amendment or some such shit. Inhofe's tinfoil hattery is too convoluted for me to bother summarizing, so you should read this piece at Salon. Just thinking about it makes me want to bite the proverbial bullet. Chomp, boom.

Speaking of Salon, there's another piece by Jillian Rayfield discussing Senator Malaka's take on the Congressional hearings that are giving Gopers a Benghazm. Inhofe waxed wingnutty yesterday on talk radio about Hillary Clinton:

“I think that she has gotten by with that type of a forceful attitude, something that’s not  normally accustomed– that you don’t hear from women as much as you do men. And she came out so forcefully, and you could tell that it was orchestrated at the time that she said it,” Inhofe said in an interview Thursday on “The Rusty Humphries Show.”

I guess having a vagina is supposed to make one timid. I'm under the impression that Yale Law School grads are usually pretty darn forceful even if they occasionally wear high heels, lipstick, and rouge. If you locked Hillary in a room with this Okie nimrod and told them to fight to the death, she'd be the one to walk out alive.

Malaka Inhofe, however, isn't done talking. He's also showing off his knowledge of the alphabet and maybe even the oeuvre of Sue Grafton:

Inhofe also had this exchange with host Humphries about possibly impeaching President Obama over the attacks:

“People may be starting to use the I-word before too long,” Inhofe said.

“The I-word meaning impeachment?” Humphries asked.

“Yeah,” Inhofe responded.

I is also for irrational, idiot, imbecile and insane as well as Inhofe. The Gopers are quite simply obsessed with impeachment. They seem to be having 1990's flashbacks ever since they couldn't defeat Obama at the ballot box. They're patently nostalgic for Whitewater, filegate, and being conflicted over whether Hillary Clinton was a lesbian or had Vince Foster whacked because he was her lover. Welcome back to the wacky world of wingnut politics, Hillary. They've finally remembered how much they hated you back in the day.

Back to James Inhofe and Oklahoma. The only wind that's whistling down the plain nowadays is all the hot air coming from the Senatorial pie hole. I would suggest that he shut the fuck up, but I'd miss his, ahem, wit and wisdom, so I'll just name him malaka of the week and be done with it. Time to go back to biting the bullet before Obama confiscates them all:

 

653 Questions

The junior Senator from Louisiana is back in the news this week. (No, not just because he gets name checked in stories about Mark Sanford's comeback.) Bitter Vitter is doing what he does best, which is being a royal pain in the ass. This time it involves Gina McCarthy who has been nominated to run the EPA:

David Vitter seems to have set a new record.

Sen. Vitter, a Louisiana Republican with close ties to the gas and oil industries, has already sent a whopping 653 questions to President Obama's nominee to take over the Environmental Protection Agency on a wide range of regulatory topics (and her use of government email accounts) ahead of her Thursday confirmation hearings, according to a Democratic staffer directly involved in the confirmation process.

The nominee, Gina McCarthy, is being subjected to what amounts to a record-shattering barrage of per-confirmation questions from Senate Republicans who have, in all, already submitted more than 1,079 queries.

UPDATE: A Vitter spokesman got back to make two points:

1. Vitter's staff calculates the total number of "real" -- not counting one- or two-word follow-ups -- in the 430 range.

2. The volume of questions, according to his staff, isn't about harassing the nominee. McCarthy deserves more questions because she's been an assistant administrator at the agency for several years and was present for many of EPA's most controversial decisions on emissions and other matters. Previous nominees for the post simply didn't have comparable track records or paper trails, Vitter's spokesman said.

As much as I hate quoting Tigerbeat on the Potomac (TM Charlie Pierce) they have the best snippet on Vitty Cent's (TM Oyster) latest malakatude (TM Adrastos.) It's not harassment? Really? How stupid do they think we are? Very stupid indeed.

Here's my suggestion to Diaper Dave and his fellow oil company lackeys, they should fold their 1079 questions five ways and stick them where the moon don't shine. Vitter is clearly familiar with his own rectal cavity since he's a professional asshole whose head is eternally up his own ass.

 I wonder if Ms. McCarthy has been tempted to quote Graham Parker?

 

Friday Guest Catblogging: Vexed Vinny

This is my friends Wendy and Dan's cat Vinny after someone had the temerity to touch his paw. The nerve of some people:

Thursday Night Music: Say You Love Me

Here's swell reinterpretation of the Christine McVie classic. It features some mean banjo pickin' by Lindsey Buckingham and some nifty background vocals as well:

 

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Marijuana Girl

This book cover was brought to my attention by my friend and fellow NOLA blogger Charlotte of NOLA Femmes fame. It's tacky, tawdry, and has awesome tag lines. Who could ask for anything more?

Slow motion suicide

That's how LBJ's right hand man Joe Califano famously described cigarette smoking when he was Carter's HHS Secretary. It fits what's happening at the New Orleans Sometimes Picayune since NOLA tycoon/unsuccessful political candidate John Georges bought the Advocate.

Here's my pal Kevin Allman on the latest turn of the screw:

Since New Orleans businessman John Georges bought The Advocate just a week ago, things have been moving quickly. Georges installed former T-P managing editors Peter Kovacs and Dan Shea as editor and general manager, and there was word that The Advocate's Baronne Street offices were adding several additional parking spaces immediately. It was a poorly kept secret that the paper had been talking to T-P city editor Gordon Russell, and only a slightly better kept secret that The Advocate was also interested in Martha Carr, a veteran of the city desk known as a meticulous editor.

"If Gordon and Martha go," a city reporter told Gambit Saturday night, "we all go."

And that's what seems to be happening. This morning Kovacs announced that Russell would be joining the New Orleans Advocate (not the New Orleans bureau of The Advocate, but "the New Orleans Advocate", a change in terminology). Also leaving the T-P: city reporters Claire Galofaro and Andrew Vanacore. (Former T-P staffer Sara Pagones, who had been helming the New Orleans bureau since it launched last fall, will now be St. Tammany bureau chief.) Russell becomes The Advocate's managing editor for investigations, while Carr will be the New Orleans paper's managing editor.

Another term for this could be, "dying the death of a thousand cuts." There's a simple word for what Advance Media did here in NOLA: stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

A quick word about now former city editor Gordon Russell. He's not only an outstanding investigative journalist and editor, he's also a friend who lives a long stones throw from Adrastos World Headquarters. I am very happy that he's getting off the sinking ship before it hits bottom.

So much for TPStreet, which sounds like a bad cop show from the Freddie Silverman era at ABC.

The newspaper war is turning into a rout.

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Anita O'Day Swings Cole Porter with Billy May

It's impossible to get more literal or sillier than this cover. It is, however, a great record, which does indeed swing:

Here are a couple of swell tunes from the LP:

 

A great day for satirists

I'd like to thank the people of  the 1st district in South Carolina for sending Mark Sanford back to Congress after a 10 year absence. I was worried that they'd do the sensible thing and elect his opponent, Stephen Colbert's big sister Elizabeth, then elect a GOPer in 2014. The creepy former Governor clearly had momentum in the last week and the district is so Republican that the only Democrat that could have won was Pitchfork Ben Tillman who has been dead for 95 years. 

There is, however, one satirist who lost tonight, Stephen Colbert. Sorry, dude, but Sanford essentially ran against Nancy Smash so what can ya do?

 

Photo via CBSNEWS.COM

Sounds like a drinking joke to me

The internet is aflame with Biden click bait again. This time we're told that it's a "dirty joke" but unless there's more context to it than I've seen yet, it's another "the Irish love to drink" one-liner thrown out by our teetotaler Veep:

 

Even if it's a mildly "dirty joke," I'm not sure why the malakas at the Weekly Standard think that stuff like this damages Biden because it doesn't. People *like* Joey the Shark precisely because he's so real and occasionally off-the-wall. In the UK, a Tory spin-off anti-establishment party, UKIP, did well in last week's county elections. There's been a lot of portentous and downright pretentious stuff written about why this happened when, in fact, they did well, in part, because UKIP's leader, Nigel Farage is a "cheeky chappy" with a common touch. Joe Biden is our very own cheeky chappy. Nuff said.

Mad Men Thread: She's the apple that goes in the pig's mouth

Thus spake Mere Marie (not to be confused with my friend Mother Mary) after her dinner with Herb the horrible (the Hagar of Jersey) and his twitty wife, Peaches. That's right, ladies and germs, please give it up for Peaches and Herb:

 

Okay, now that I've had my little joke (very little, actually) on to a discussion of For Immediate Release, which is hands-down the best episode of season 6 so far. It fits the classic Mad Men pattern; nothing much seems to happen plot-wise at the start of the season and then WHAMMO. This season's whammo occurred in episode 6, smack dab in the middle of the season.

Don Draper has his groove thing back and he shook it like a prideful and snarky baboon. The dinner with Herb was vintage Don Fucking Draper. He was insulted, returned fire and fired the fat fuck from Jersey. All without consulting with anyone. To paraphrase Joan, we is not in Don's lexicon.

Okay, time to riff like a deranged Tom Servo:

Why Ken Cosgrove Doesn't Fear The Bomb: I loved the scene between our boy Ken and malaka Pete Campbell about the latter's seeing his father-in-law with the "biggest, blackest prostitute" in Noo Yawk. Initially, I agreed with Ken that this involved Mutually Assured Destruction since both Pete and Mr. Vick's Hypocrite were whoring around. But Trudy's father hit the detonate button and blew shit up like a rabid Wile E. Coyote. He expected Pete to uni-laterally disarm, but he did not. Kaboom in Trudy's face. It all went kerbloowey and she threwy Pete out. So it goes.

Blowing stuff up was the unifying theme of the episode. That's what happened when Don fired Jaguar, which prompted a hilarious Campbell tirade, "You're like Tarzan swinging from vine to vine." Pete is starting to remind me of a preppy Daffy Duck. How long until he tells Don that he's despicable? I really need to stop making Looney Tunes references....

The Pegster's Unfixer Upper: She and Abe bought a place in a "transitional" neighborhood per his desires. The Pegster is in hell with loud music above, junkies on the stoop, and human shit on her shoe. Yuck. It nearly led her into temptation when her sweater boy boss stole a kiss from her. Nothing happened but we'll file it away under future attractions.

Peggy declared to Abe that she hated change. It's a pity because there's much, much more change to come but we'll get to that in a moment.

Fly Me, I'm Roger: Speaking of comebacks, the silver tongued acid head is back on his game at long last. He seems to be employing what could be described as the Playboy business plan: shtup lovely stewardess, get her to call when a live business prospect shows up at the airport, and then head out to land a client. It worked when Roger got an appointment in Motown from a drunken Chevy executive to pitch on a new top secret account. Others are reporting that it will turn to be the Vega, which is sort of a comedown after all the chatter about the Mustang but, still, it's a car and it's GM. Baseball, apple pie and Chevrolet, y'all. And Ted Chaough's turtleneck?

The Big Bombshell: Tarzan Don swung into Detroit and not only landed a car account but merged the firm with Teddy Sweater's agency. Details continue to elude Don's notice, Roger is the only SCDP partner who knows as of episode's end. I hope the others don't read about it in the Daily News before hearing it from Don.  I cannot wait to see how Bert, Pete, and Joan react next week. Suffering succotash...

The scene in the bar between Don and Ted hearkened back to the one in episode-1 between Don and the drunk Private. That led to Don's presence at the soldier's nuptials. This time, Don is the groom and Ted is the bride or something like that. Btw, Ted wore 2, count, em 2, sweaters in that scene: a turtleneck under a cardigan. He looked like the Beaver and Wally's mom had dressed him...

The merger thing makes perfect business sense as a way to prevent another ketchup fiasco where the two little guys lost out to the big agency. It will be even better for the show as we watch the two agencies try to come together, right now, over me...

I am simply Jonesing to see the next episode. I'm hoping to see more interaction between Roger and Ted's partner Jim Cutler who is played as a smarmy lounge lizard by Harry Hamlin who is best remembered from LA Law. Hmm, I wonder if he'll wear a bunny suit when he hits on Megan?

There's much more I could say about this episode but it's Mother's Day, and I have to wrap a present for Sylvia Rosen who Don couldn't unwrap because her boy was home. Don was kinda busy plotting with his frenemy anyway...

Tebowite Twittiness

My favorite story for a Monday morning, from George Diaz of the Orlando Sentinel:

The economy is on the upswing, but there remains some disconcerting signs:

Tim Tebow is still unemployed.

No worries. His whacko fan-base is on the case, appealing to President Obama to resolve this crisis immediately.

Yes, they have filed a petition on the White House's 'We the People' website, asking President Obama to call Jacksonville Jaguars general  manager David Caldwell, demanding that he sign Tebow.

I am not making this up.

Here’s the official petition: “Jacksonville Jaguars fans want the team to sign recently released QB Tim Tebow. However, rookie general manager for the Jacksonville Jaguars David Caldwell is blocking this from happening. If the Jaguars sign & START Tebow, home games will be sold out, sales will spike, the team will win and the fans will be happy. Mr. Caldwell is ignoring lots of facts about the misunderstood Tim Tebow while in Denver: Passer rating of 125.6 is highest ever in Broncos postseason history. Most yards per completion (31.6) in NFL playoff history.100.5 QB rating is best ever for a Broncos QB in his first start. Third most passing yards in a game by a Bronco rookie QB. (308, in his 2nd start), First 15+ point comeback in the final 3 minutes of an NFL game since the merger,7 game winning drives in just 16 games!”

Dontcha love asking them this of a President that Timmeh clearly voted against? Thus far there are only 144 signatures on this deeply idiotic petition. Diaz's piece, on the other hand is hilarious. It was worth at least 1 cup of coffee on the wake me up meter. Muchas gracias.

Since I heard Fleetwood Mac's Jazz Fest set from the Acura stage annex and it's, well, Monday Morning, here's a wee jolt of rock and roll:

  

Instant Mad Men Analysis

I spent a long day Jazzfesting, so I'm not alert enough to write a complete post BUT I was blown away by the HUGE plot development this week. Sweater wearing Teddy Chaough and Don Fucking Draper as partners? Holy fucking shit. It's as if Batman and the Joker went into business or something.So much for ennui in the Mad Men punditocracy, they'll all be jumping out of their skins. I know I am.

More tomorrow. This is an episode I cannot wait to watch again.

Sunday Morning Video: Gun Crazy

Since it's gunfest weekend, here's an appropriately titled low budget classic film noir from 1950:

 

While I'm at it, here's the lobby card:

Malaka Of The Week: Jim Porter

The GOP, I mean NRA, is having a convention in Houston, which is named for the great Texan Sam Houston who refused to secede with the Lone Star state in 1861. The NRA's new President (a figurehead since Crazy Wayne LaPierre rules the roost) is a Confederate irredentist from Alabama named Jim Porter. I'd never hear of this bozo until today but he's a lulu, y'all:

In a June speech, Porter noted the NRA was “started by some Yankee generals who didn’t like the way my Southern boys had the ability to shoot in what we call the ‘War of Northern Aggression.’ ”

“Now y’all might call it the Civil War, but we call it the ‘War of Northern Aggression’ down South,” Porter said to the New York State Rifle & Pistol Association.

Not everyone down South calls it that. I don't. I've never met a black person who calls it that. In fact, I've  lived in the South for 30 years and have been lucky enough not to meet *anyone* who calls it that. I know that they're out there and I've had people say equally Porteresque things to me because I'm a white guy. I think of it as the war to preserve the union that led to the slaves being freed. People of Malaka Porter's ilk always skip that miniscule detail about the Civil War.

I thought the NRA was a national organization as opposed to a branch of the CSA. Guess I was wrong about that. Of course, the GOP is essentially a branch of the CSA and the NRA-an ostensibly non-partisan organization-is essentially a branch of the GOP, so I guess it all works out for those folks. By CSA, I mean Confederate States Of America, but you knew that already.

I was under the impression that people stopped re-fighting the Civil War years ago. Guess I was wrong about that too. I wonder if Jim Porter knows that Sam Houston refused to secede from the Union with the state he did so much to help found. I doubt it. Hell, I doubt that Rick Perry knows that. Ted Cruz might but he probably thinks that Houston was a "squish."

Jim Porter is malaka of the week for obvious reasons. I really wish I'd never heard of him but now I have, alas. I'm sure he'll continue to say stupid and inflammatory things that will play poorly in the Midwest and Mountain West, which is fine with me. When he's done alienating people, they should send the stupid redneck peckerwood back to Alabama where he can sing this song to his heart's content:

 

Didja see that crazy teabagger slide show? I had no idea that ole George Washington was a Skynyrd fan. I'm trying to picture stiff GW at an arena show flicking his Bic and shouting: "FREEEEEE BIIIIIIIIRD."

Friday Catblogging: Welcome to the Oscardome

I'm not sure why this title occurred to me when I took a second look at this picture but it did. It was taken by Dr. A while the Big O was on her lap. It's Oscarlicious:

 

Thursday Night Music: Games Without Frontiers

Is anyone else watching The Americans on FX? I'm totally hooked and totally surprised that I'm kinda sorta rooting for the Russian spooks. Anyway, the season finale used Peter Gabriel's Games Without Frontiers very effectively as its coda. It quite naturally lodged in my head so here it is:

 

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Planet Of The Apes

I'd like to thank Matthew Weiner and the Mad Men writing staff for making this week's choice such an easy one. I am, however, horrified that they gave away the ending. Goddamn them...

 

Here's the trailer:

 

Happy May Day

As a sentimental old lefty, I give you the song that has been the anthem of the British Labour party forever. It was de-emphasized under Kinnock, scorned by Blair and Brown, and seems to be making a comeback under Ed Milliband:

 

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Cool For Cats

This week's entry is another one from the good people at Hipgnosis. I recall seeing this one when it first came out and buying the LP based on the cover. It worked out. I've had a long love affair with the songs of Difford and Tilbrook and the music of Squeeze. They are indeed cool for cats.

I'm posting both the front and back covers since they're equally,uh, cool:

Here's the official video of the title track, which is Oscar and Della's theme song:

 

Make up your mind already

The New Orleans Sometimes-Picayune has announced-get ready-a new print edition with a hipster douchebag name, TP Street. It will be in the tabloid format, which many of us suggested they go to in order to save money on paper. Reaction here has been scathing. Me, I think it's simultaneously pitiful and hilarious.

I'll let my pals Liprap and Kevin Hippie-Hater have the last word.

I lied, this whole thing has got me, uh, thinking:

 

What would Jerry Maguire think?

It's a pity that Cameron Crowe hasn't made a good film in years. Say Anything, Almost Famous, and Jerry Maguire are 3 of the best films of our time. I thought of CamCro when I read this item about Geno Smith firing his agent:

West Virginia quarterback Geno Smith's fall out of the first-round of the 2013 NFL draft has claimed its first casualty as Liz Mullen of the SportsBusiness Journal reports that the rookie quarterback is parting ways with his agents, Jeff Nalley of the Houston-based Select Sports Group.

Smith accepted an invitation to attend the draft and was in the green room at Radio City Music Hall for most of the first-round. However, when the first-round reached the final few picks, and those picks were held by teams that have no need for a quarterback, Smith left the building as it was evident he would not be selected until Day 2.

ESPN's Suzy Kolber reported that Smith was not going to attend Day 2 of the draft, but Smith changed his mind and returned to Radio City Music Hall on Friday. Smith was selected by the  New York Jets with the eighth pick in Round 2, the 39th overall pick in the draft, which is expected come with a contract worth just under $5 million with over $3.1 million in guaranteed money. Had Smith been selected in Round 1, his contract would be worth, at minimum, $6.7 million with around $5.4 million in guaranteed money.

The financial difference, as well as having to return to a green room for a second day, appear to be the reason why Smith is changing agents.

According to Manish Mehta of the New York Daily News, Smith was under the impression that he should be and would be the No. 1 overall pick of the draft. It is understandable for Smith to be disappointed about not being a first-round pick, but unless he was specifically being told by his agents that he would go No. 1, we're not sure how they are at fault for his tumble out of Round 1.

Obviously, Nalley screwed up by not doing this:

  

Or he could have tried the old I am a golden God gambit:

 

False Flag Puke Cornered In Cambridge

Remember the infowars malaka who asked Deval Patrick about guvmint complicity in the Boston Marathon bombing? He was in Cambridge recently where he ran into a guy who gave him the full Jude treatment and cussed his worthless ass out. Do not listen to this out loud at work or in front of impressionable chirren unless you want to expand their vocabulary, that is:

 

Via All In with Chris Hayes.

Mad Men Thread: The Flood

I seem to be in the minority among the Mad Men punditocracy, they're all like meh about The Flood, and I loved it. It's partially because I lived through that period as a wee laddie, the murder of MLK was all everyone talked about for at least a week, including those who hated and feared what King stood for. It was before he became the "unifying I have a dream guy" as opposed to the rabble-rouser who was against the war, and supported the Memphis garbage men. Even then, of course, he was both, as we saw through the eyes of the Mad Men. Okay, time to ramble and natter:

There's a first time for everything: I actually *liked* Pete Campbell in this episode. I recalled his earlier maladroit attempts to tap in to the "negro market" so it wasn't shocking that he called Harry Crane on his malakatude. BUT I was shocked at how human the weenie little bastard was during the entire episode. I never once wanted to punch him in the gob. Also, the look on rabid right-winger Bert Cooper's face after his effort to end the Crane-Campbell hurly burly failed was classic. It was the look of a man whose time has passed, who neither likes nor understands the new order of things.

Mr. Pegster: Peggy's shaggy left wing journo boy toy Abe was put to better use in this episode. We learned that Abe envisions them having a future that includes little Jewish-Irish-Norwegian kids. The look on Peggy's face when he mentioned that was priceless. Abe had one of the best lines in the episode when Peggy urged him to be safe before setting forth to cover the melee: "Too late for that. I'm going to Harlem in a tuxedo."

You were the future once: I'm borrowing a line that David Cameron fired at Tony Blair during PM Questions when the former was the new leader of the Tory Party. As much as I hate to compare Peggy to the Posh Boy, Don is increasingly an aging golden boy whose star is fading or, more accurately, imploding. I had hopes in season-5 that we'd see a new Don Draper, but he's been the old Don this year and somewhat to the show's detriment. His free fall, however, was arrested, by of all things, taking Bobby to see Planet of the Apes.

 Everybody likes to go the movies when they're sad: Thus spake Bobby Draper to the African-American usher who was morosely cleaning the movie theatre after a showing of Planet of the Apes. It scares me that I'm old enough to remember ushers and smoking in movie theatres. I loved the former, hated the latter. Anyway, Bobby's awkward attempt at connecting with a stranger touched his unemotional, closed off father so much that he even discussed it with Megan. I'd like to see more of the Draper kids even if Sally is a snarky teen and Bobby has OCD. I'm also old enough to remember when Don was a better parent than Betty. Horrible husband, but decent father. The show is quite simply better when we have *some* hope that Don will grow even if we know deep down that he won't.

Oy, such a father: I'd forgotten what a kick I get out of Ginsburg's father. The old boy had several of the best lines in the episode as well as the best reaction to the news of Dr. King's death; he pulled his blanket over his face and sighed. Who wouldn't sigh if your son were as inept a "lothario" as Michael? Never tell a chick you're still a virgin on a first date, dude. It only works in Woody Allen flicks, boy chick.

Senator Henry: We learned that Henry Francis has not only become more of a father to the Draper kids than dear old drunken dad, but that he's disillusioned with handsome and feckless Mayor Lindsay. Lindsay was riding high at the end of the episode but Henry was dismayed at the price paid for peace in the Big Apple. It will come back to bite Noo Yawk in the '70's.

Henry is ready to jump the Good Ship Lindsay to become a Republican State Senator. I am also old enough to remember liberal Republicans like Lindsay and moderates like Henry. Holy extinct species, Batman. Betty's already trying on new frocks to wear on the trail with her hubby. She should, however, ditch the black hair, she looks much better as a "bottle blonde."

In the end, I enjoyed episode's focus on the gang's reaction to the murder of Dr. King, including the weird acid head who pitched the preposterous Molotov cocktail ad to Don and the boys. Hey, at least he didn't have white liberal guilt like Joan whose attempt to hug Dawn went over like a turd in punch bowl as the wags used to say. Speaking of wags, time to waggle my way out of here and stop typing like a meth-addled monkey…

Okay time to visit the psychedeli and post some Jefferson Airplane. They knew from LSD, man:

 

Awkward

I've been having some severe allergy issues in the last few days. It feels as if CPAC, or something equally cacophonous, is being held in my head. Anyway, the Mad Men recap is coming but I'd like to feel at least vaguely human while writing it, so here's one of my favorite moments from The Flood in GIF form:

The GIF only ,moves if you click on it; not sure why but I've been fighting it for awhile and it's time to surrender. Dang, Dawn looks fierce when Joanie goes in for the hug...

Fuck Yeah, Jason Collins

Journeyman NBA big man Jason Collins has come out of the closet becoming the first openly gay major sports player who wants to stay active.  You'll notice I'm putting a caveat on this still momentous announcement. Collins is an unsigned free agent who wants to play next year, but he's a marginal player who played in 38 games last season hasn't played in more than 49 game since 2008.

I hate to be the skunk at this particular garden party but if Collins remains unsigned, he's just the latest recently retired player to come out. Decent big men *are* hard to come by but Collins could remain unsigned for legitimate basketball reasons: he's 34, which is old for a cager. He may or may not get another shot but I hope that this gives a player in their prime the courage to come out. The NBA now looks like the best bet for a pioneer who may actually play in the 2013-2014 season.

Despite that somewhat windy essay, Jason Collins still deserves a rousing chorus of fuck yeahs from our little corner of the internet.

Sunday Morning Video: The Improbable Mr. Atlee

1945 Campaign poster via the Labour archive.

Americans love *certain* British Prime Ministers but Clement Atlee is not one of them. Perhaps it's because he ran the great reforming post-World War II Labour government that established the NHS. Socialism, bad; Thatcherism good. Atlee was a mousy and uncharismatic figure but a bona fide political genius.He is also *very* highly regarded in the UK, where he usually ranks as one of the top 3 PMs and more often than not #1, at least in the hearts of us commie pinko types. 

This BBC 4 documentary is an excellent introduction to Clem Atlee who could also be described as the mouse that roared:

 

Saturday Night Music: Go Your Own Way

One of the greatest break up songs of all time featuring a scorching solo by Lindsey Buckingham:

 

George Jones, R.I.P.

Country music legend and world class eccentric George Jones has died at the age of 81.George specialized in "tears in my beer" weepers for an obvious reason: he was a drunk, albeit a charming one.

I used to hang out with a guy who knew George. Joe told me a story that I've never forgotten and I hope is true. George was a legendary drinker and carouser. He had his license suspended for a DWI. Surprise, surprise. George came up with a novel solution to his transportation issues: he drove his riding lawnmower to town. He was pulled over and asked for his license and George said: "You don't need a license to drive this thing."  He was right. George offered to take a breathalyzer but the cops were so tickled by his audacity that they didn't make him do it. My friend swore that George swore that he'd have passed the test.

Again, I have no idea if this ripping yarn was true or not but it's a good one. Here are a few George Jones classics:

 

 

  

Friday Catblogging: Flower Child

Yeah, I know it's a paper flower that young Della Street got ahold of but it's floral nonetheless. It's the last day of kitty week but not unlike the Honey Badger, Della doesn't give a shit unless something's in it for her. Where did I go wrong? So, donate something to spite Della:

 

I'll give REM the last word with this flowery tune from right before they became big pop stars:

 

Caption This: The Eyebrows Have It Edition

This is Bernard Ingham who was Margaret Thatcher's flack. It was taken at the Iron Lady's funeral. It looks as if there are 2 feral animals asleep above his eyes:

Pulp Fiction Thursday: The Black Cat

Since it's kitty week here at First Draft, I give you Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff:

 Here's the trailer:

 

Revisionism is in the air

The Bush lieberry is opening tomorrow in Dallas. It's perfect that my least favorite recent President's lieberry/mausoleum is opening in one of my least favorite cities in the known universe. There's probably a worse town on Trafalmadore or one of the Stans but I doubt it...

The lieberry opening has brought on a wave of W revisionism. The twerpy dullard David Gregory told us on the NBC Nightly News that Bush tweren't so bad even though he strained to find some positive accomplishments. The main revisionist line is that Bush kept us "safe from terrorism" but there's always a footnote, AFTER 9/11. That's a huge shoe they're dropping y'all; too big even for King Kong or Shaq...

The footnote/caveat reminds me of something that happened when I was a 1L at Tulane Law School way back in the Mesozoic period. I had a very entertaining Torts teacher named Tom Carbonneau who seemed to have stock in Coca-Cola since he drank at least 3 Diet Cokes during every class. Gulp.

Anyway, Torts professors *love* posing convoluted hypothetical questions and encourage their students to do likewise. A conservative student whose name I forget (not David Vitter, he was a year ahead of me but was a notorious asshole even then) posed a hypo involving nuclear power: "Barring Chernobyl, it has a great safety record." That's a caveat/footnote that's just as absurd as "he kept us safe AFTER 9/11." I wonder if this dude wound up working in the Bush White House or got hitched to Dana Perino who has been revisionisting her ass off this week...

Barring the bank meltdown, the Iraq War, the Katrina response, it goes on and on and on, deep into the long dark night of Bush's misrule:

  

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Wish You Were Here

 

This cover and many others were the work of Storm Thorgerson who died last week at the age of 69. Thorgerson's classic work with Pink Floyd was done with his partner in crime Aubrey Po Powell under the nomme du guerre Hipgnosis. They also created this swell logo:

Here's the haunting title track of the LP:

  

The Elvis Impersonator Has Left The Building

Photo via In2EastAfrica.net

Usually a story containing the word ricin that involves someone being falsely accused of a felony is not funny. That is, until Paul Kevin Curtis. He's the Mississippi Elvis impersonator who was arrested last week for sending ricin laced letters to President Obama, Senator Roger Wicker (Obscure R-Miss) and a local judge. It turns out that he didn't do it, so he's no longer dancing to the jailhouse rock.

After Curtis was sprung from the slammer, he held a bizarre presser wherein he discussed his missing dog Moo-cow, offered to pay his attorney with foot massages and called Jesus his best friend. Hand to God, I am making none of this up. Hell, even Carl Hiassen couldn't concoct this story...

There's apparently another equally zany suspect under the gun now but I'm not going there. Mocking one ricin suspect at a time is weird enough for me, y'all.

KC, of course, has a YouTube page. In addition to Elvis, he also does Prince, Buddy Holly, Conway Twitty, Hank Williams Jr, Jon Bon Jovi and Tracy Lawrence. Not particularly well, mind you, but he does them. Here he is as the King:

 

I'm glad KC is free and I promise never to step on his blue, blue, blue suede shoes. I will, however skip the foot massage...

Dang, KC's gone and given me an earworm. It's only fitting to give the *real* King the last word:

 

The Confession

After all the posturing by little Lindsey and his ilk about how to treat the accused Boston Marathon bomber, he was read his rights, and then confessed earlier today. I agree with what A said earlier: this guy is a criminal and we have a massive system dedicated to dealing with people like him. Try him and lock him up, the only terrorist he seems to know was his big brother who's currently taking a dirt nap...

It's increasingly looking as if this is just the latest outrage perpetrated by angry young men. It seems closer in twisted spirit to Columbine, Aurora, or Newtown. Those were also acts of terrorism but they were done with guns instead of bombs, and without an overlay of politics. It was terrorism nonetheless, but it doesn't seem to register on the McCain-o-meter or the Graham-scale. Perhaps they need to recalibrate their thinking. Did I say thinking? Sorry. Thinking's got nothing to do with it...