First Draft

What they're afraid of

In keeping with A's post earlier.

via Joe.My.God

Iron Jawed Angels

Brave women:

Onziema and her partner met playing rugby at a local Kampala club a couple of years ago. Onziema knew "within five seconds" that she had met the one, she says. It took her partner a bit longer. Onziema has known her whole life that she's gay, but her partner is not out publicly, and the process of coming to terms with who she is took a little longer.

After they'd been friends for a few months, Onziema made her move. "There was a kiss," she grins. "She wasn't expecting it."

Since then, the couple have been through a lot together. One year in a kuchu relationship — the Luganda word for gay is one that people in the community use to describe themselves — is like 10 years in a heterosexual relationship, kuchus say. That would make Onziema and her partner's three years more like 30.

Onziema's partner doesn't mind that her girlfriend works trying to protect gay rights and change public opinion in Uganda. But she worries about the dangers Onziema might face, especially with the bill working its way through Parliament.

A.

Your Old Road is Rapidly Aging

So get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand:

In comments to the ombudsman’s call-in line (202.334.7582), one reader said, “the picture of two guys kissing makes me cringe.” Another called it “ridiculous,” adding: “Put it on page 10 or page four, put it in the paper, but I do not like it right there where I can’t avoid looking at it.”

Many threatened to cancel their Post subscriptions, and more than two dozen did. Post circulation vice president Gregg Fernandes said that late last week 27 subscribers canceled, specifically citing the photo. In contrast, The Post reported only two cancellations immediately after last July’s ethics uproar over its ill-advised plan to sell sponsorships to off-the-record “salon” dinners at the publisher’s residence.

Did the Post go too far? Of course not.

Damn right. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em with very gay penises, right in their faces where they don't want things shoved. And double-fuck all of 'em who wrote in saying things like, "I have kids, you know."

One called me to complain about “promoting a faggot lifestyle.” Another complained about the photo in an e-mail to the two Post reporters who wrote Thursday’s story about the licenses: “That kind of stuff makes normal people want to throw up. People have kids who are being exposed to this crap. I will be glad when your rag goes out of business. Real men marry women.”

Emphasis mine. I swear, there are a lot of things that drive me wild about the politics of modern parenting but one major thing is this: Your kids are not your excuse to be a total blowhole assface of a human being.

Your kids are not to blame for your politics. Your kids are not to blame for your decisions. Your kids are not to blame for any way in which you choose to live your life. Your kids are your kids, and they're people, and I know this is me saying this, childless whore, etc. And I'm not saying having children can't inform your worldview. I'm saying own your worldview as YOURS, instead of hiding behind your children's blankies and pretending you can't help yourself.

Jesus H. Gentle Cycle Christ, I hate this. Like, how are we to suppose this works, that you used to be a fair and decent person but then you had a kid and decided, "You know, white sheets look fucking good on me now!" You had a kid and then went, "Hmm, suddenly ladies kissing each other is just not on!" Bullshit. You always felt this way, and now you can justify it with somebody who is more into playing with blocks or reading comic books than realizing his parents are total assholes. 

Problem is, he won't always be too into his own stuff to notice yours. So won't it be fun for junior to read someday that you used to be a good person and now you suck, and he was the line between before and after? And not only do you suck, but you're such a stupendous pussy that you can't even give yourself credit for the decision to suck, you've got to shove it off on him? Isn't that charming? Do these people listen to themselves?

You wanna be a bigot? You wanna hate gay people? You wanna wax redneck in the pages of the Post about faggot lifestyles and shoving things down people's throats? YOU DO THAT THEN. You just go do it. You go and do that all on your own, slick. You go and do that because YOU want to do it, you stupid motherfucker. You go and do that because you've taken a good long hard look in the mirror and decided that writing pissy letters to the paper about how you don't like reality anymore is the best way to spend your time. You do that because being a bigot is what you want to be.

Leave your children out of it. 

Via Balloon Juice.

A.

Today's Horoscope: AWESOME

TPM.

A.

Possibly the Best Sentence on the Internet

His genitals restored to their normal state, Barack Obama moved onto the next sexual frontier: consensual light bondage with hyper-obese furries who enjoy Victoria-era cosplay and tickle-pleasuring.

A.

Prop 8 Trial

Liveblogging going on over at The Seminal.

A.

'The Free Uniting of Two People'

Feliz Fucking Navidad:

Mexico City lawmakers on Monday made the city the first in Latin America to legalize same-sex marriage, a change that will give homosexual couples more rights, including allowing them to adopt children.

The bill passed the capital's local assembly 39-20 to the cheers of supporters who yelled: "Yes, we could! Yes, we could!"

Leftist Mayor Marcelo Ebrard of the Democratic Revolution Party is widely expected to sign the measure into law.

The bill calls for changing the definition of marriage in the city's civil code. Marriage is currently defined as the union of a man and a woman. The new definition will be "the free uniting of two people."

The change would allow same-sex couples to adopt children, apply for bank loans together, inherit wealth and be included in the insurance policies of their spouse, rights they were denied under civil unions allowed in the city.

"We are so happy," said Temistocles Villanueva, a 23-year-old film student who celebrated by passionately kissing his boyfriend outside the city's assembly.

 

xkcd

A.

Hells Yeah, Austria!

Awesome.

A.

More of the gay: Thank you for being a friend

It's a long way to full LGBT equality, and we will continue to fight. Sometimes, last week in NY, we're gonna lose. Other times, like yesterday in New Jersey, we'll at least hold our ground till the next fight.

We know this:

Allies. We need 'em. They are essential.

Bruce Springsteen, today

Like many of you who live in New Jersey, I've been following the progress of the marriage-equality legislation currently being considered in Trenton. I've long believed in and have always spoken out for the rights of same sex couples and fully agree with Governor Corzine when he writes that, "The marriage-equality issue should be recognized for what it truly is -- a civil rights issue that must be approved to assure that every citizen is treated equally under the law." I couldn't agree more with that statement and urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now.

The citizens and high school students of Cherry Hill New Jersey, yesterday

NY Senator Diane Savino, last week

Thanks to these folks for their grace under fire, and thanks to all y'all too.

Beyond mere homophobia: a sad day for Rhode Island

Yesterday, Rhode Island Governor Donald Carcieri, vetoed 25 bills passed by the State Assembly. One of those bills would have changed existing state law to add "domestic partners" to those authorized by law to make funeral arrangements for each other.

That's right. The Governor says if you are gay, and your partner dies, you can't claim their body and you can't arrange for their funeral or cremation. Not just because you're gay but because ... wait for it:  it would threaten traditional marriage.

In his veto message, Republican Carcieri said: "This bill represents a disturbing trend over the past few years of the incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage, which is not the preferred way to approach this issue.

Now, maybe I'm having trouble remembering my American history but I could swear that the concept of separation of church and state had more than just a little bit to do with the founding of Rhode Island.

So that magistrates, as magistrates, have no power of setting up the form of church government, electing church officers, punishing with church censures, but to see that the church does her duty herein. And on the other side, the churches as churches, have no power (though as members of the commonweal they may have power) of erecting or altering forms of civil government, electing of civil officers, inflicting civil punishments (no not on persons excommunicate) as by deposing magistrates from their civil authority, or withdrawing the hearts of the people against them

I wouldn't go so far as to say Roger Williams is rolling in his grave, but this other kind of "incremental erosion of principles," the ones the state upon which the state was founded, makes this already sad story even worse.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Carcieri is a member of the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), whose mission is "to protect marriage and the faith communities that sustain it." In addition, last month, Carcieri delivered a speech against marriage equality to the Massachusetts Family Institute (MFI), an organization so rabid in its homophobic zeal, it almost makes NOM seem normal in comparison:

"MFI does not consider homosexual behavior to be merely an alternate lifestyle or sexual 'preference'; it is an unhealthy practice and destructive to individuals, families and society. Our compassion for those plagued by same-sex attraction compels us to support the healing of those who wish to change their behavior. MFI strongly opposes any efforts by political activists to normalize homosexual behavior and all attempts to equate homosexuality with benign characteristics such as skin color, or the 'gay rights' movement with the civil rights movement."

In his statement yesterday, Carcieri gave two other reasons for the veto:

As written, he said the bill would allow the decisions of a "partner'' of a year to take precedence over "traditional family members,'' and he believes a "one year time period is not a sufficient duration to establish a serious bond between two individuals...[relative to] sensitive personal traditions and issues regarding funeral arrangements, burial rights and disposal of human remains.''

Carcieri said he was also uncertain "how it would be ascertained in many circumstances whether [a couple] had been in a relationship for year'' since there is "no official or recognized form'' of domestic partnership agreement in Rhode Island. He called this proviso "vague and ill-defined.''

One bright spot: The existing law protects the wishes of those who have created pre-planned, formalized funeral contracts.  Carcieri's veto can't change that.

Quiet hate hurts

A few months ago, I found myself in one of those Disneyland-style lines at the airport as we attempted to pass through security. Just behind me in the line was a beefy, muscular guy, about six feet tall, who had a shaved head and a ton of tattoos. At a certain point in the weaving line, I managed to get a good look at him. His arms were adorned with swastikas and pit bulls. Down the back of each of his triceps was a single word: “WHITE” on the left and “POWER” on the right. When he got to the front of the line, I slowed up a bit to see what would happen as he approached the black guy who was checking IDs. He glared at the TSA agent with palpable contempt, but moved forward once he was checked out.

There was no incident, but the message was clear: I hate you.

I thought about that guy when I watched the election results in Maine roll in. I was saddened for my friends in the gay community who want nothing more than the right to be as miserable as those of us in the straight community. Marriage is one of those things that some people love, others hate and even more avoid. I know many people who have lifelong commitments that dwarf mine but are unrecognized by the law and that saddens me. Listening to a turdburgler like Frank Schubert who seems to think that this miscarriage of justice is in some way preserving the institution of marriage reinforces my sense that stupid people shouldn’t breed.

However, it took the Maine election to help me realize that the issue of gay marriage doesn’t come down to guys like Schubert or Chuck Schott or the other overt haters. While these folks are the lightning rods, the stereotypes and the reasons activists get up in the morning to defend their causes, they’re not the problem.

In an election that drew upwards of 500,000 people according to fivethirtyeight.com, we saw a 52-48 split. If that’s the case, we’re looking at about 260,000 people who said, “Yeah, we’re grateful for your contributions to the fashion industry and all, but marriage? Let’s not go there…” Of these quarter-million-plus voters, they’re obviously not all loud idiots carrying signs or people who use “faggot” as a portion of their daily vernacular.

Instead, they’re the “regular people” we spend time with every day. They’re the grandparents who are watching their grandkids ride on the fake pony outside of K-mart. They’re the smiling folks who work the counter at Starbucks and chat with everyone about the weather. They’re the people who strike up a conversation with strangers on the bus about how the local high school football team is going to do this year. They’re the decent, hard-working folks who pay taxes, donate coats to Goodwill this time of year, help out at the church festival and do all sorts of other things that are aimed at the betterment of a society.

And yet, when they enter the shrouded secrecy of a voting booth, they can’t bring themselves to say that equal rights aren’t special rights. They get some strange vision that if we legalize gay marriage, a giant spree of gaydom will unfurl across our country and that the red, white and blue will become the pink, cream and robin’s egg. They hear the echo of the talk radio idiots in their head about “what those people do in their bedrooms” at night, as if the people in committed relationships aren’t doing it now to begin with. (And as a general aside, I’ve seen some heterosexual couples that would make me more than shudder if I had to imagine what they looked like doing the deed in their bedroom. The fact that your nudity and sex acts may repulse someone else should not be viewed as a legitimate reason to deny marriage.)

When it comes right down to it, we’d be better off if the haters were honest. As Americans, we’ve always been better fighting wars in which the enemy was clear and easily targeted. We know we can’t persuade the people who are willing to mar their bodies, parade with signs or scream their slogans in the name of a hateful cause. However, we can find ways to fight back against that.

It’s the silent fears and quiet hatred that will always cause trouble in a fight like this.

A day late

A lot of people weren't surprised by it, but still, the loss last night in Maine was a severe blow for marriage equality and LGBT civil rights. So where do we stand today?  What do we do next time? It's hard to even hazard a guess, given the level of frustration on a day like today.  If nothing else, I hope we leave behind these state by state bloodlettings and put the focus on strategy at the national level. Because losing 30 times in a row sucks.

Maine

Please please please please please:

PORTLAND, Maine – Bolstered by out-of-state money and volunteers, both sides jockeyed Monday to boost turnout for a Maine referendum that could give gay-rights activists in the U.S. their first victory at the ballot box on the deeply divisive issue of same-sex marriage.

The state's voters will decide Tuesday whether to repeal a law that would allow gay marriage. The law was passed by the Legislature and signed by Democratic Gov. John Baldacci last May but has never taken effect.

The contest is considered too close to call, and both campaigns worked vigorously — with rallies, phone calls, e-mails and ads — to be sure their supporters cast votes in the off-year election.

If voters uphold the law, it will be the first time the electorate in any state has endorsed marital rights for same-sex couples, energizing activists nationwide and deflating a long-standing conservative argument that gay marriage lacks popular support.

A.

Hell Yeah! ... and also ... What The?

New York, New York:

Gov. David Paterson reiterated his pledge to bring marriage equality to New York state Thursday, telling a cheering audience at a major gay rights fund-raiser that they can expect to see a bill pass “just in the next few weeks.”

And then he went on to say:

“So, if you’ve been telling your loved one, ‘You know, I’d marry you, but we have this legal problem,’ and maybe, as a lot of straight people have done, you’ve led someone along thinking you’re going to marry them, one obstacle or another has prevented it, you’d better leave now, because marriage equality is coming to New York state,” said Paterson.

THOSE OF YOU IN SHITTY RELATIONSHIPS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

MARRIAGE IS COMING!

A.

The Last Time You Trusted a Politician

John Cole:

Nothing constructive is ever built with negativity. Period. So instead of blowing up at the first President in my lifetime to openly advocate for gay rights, why don’t you do something constructive? Why don’t you embrace his message? How about an ad campaign that has Obama speaking from the HRC declaring support for your goals, and asking Congress whether they want to join you and the President in achieving those goals? How about going to Harry Reid, who is in a tight election as it is, and asking him whether or not he will join with the President and the gay community to end DADT and DOMA? How about stating that you stand in unison with the President, that you intend to work with him to achieve those goals.

I understand that may not be as cathartic as knee-capping your own guy while chanting “just words,” but it might be more productive. And it isn’t settling. It isn’t telling you to shut up or relax or be patient. It is telling you that working to change the status quo is more productive than hurting your own team, even though throwing eggs and making farty sounds with your armpit is more fun.

Part of working to change the status quo, though, is throwing eggs. I don't understand the polar attitude that you can either criticize or be productive. It does not have to be "Obama sucks! We iz BETRAYED by Librul Jeezus! FINISH HIM!" or "Obama is great! He's doing very well! Just give him time! And shut the fuck up!" It is entirely possible to hold in one's mind the idea that Obama is the best president we've had in a long time, and that he's not doing enough on X, Y or Z to move things along.

A.

Fujita/Zirin Redux

Dave Zirin has posted more of his conversation with Saints Linebacker, Scott Fujita about the latter's support of the upcoming National Equality March For Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered rights in Washington City as the founders called it. Here's the money quote wherein Scott turns the term homophobia on its head:

"You know people do call it homophobia, and even that term alone is interesting to me. Because I don’t even know how they call it homophobia, because that’s a fear of the same. It’s more heterophobia. It’s a fear of something different from yourself."

Scott Fujita: UC Berkeley graduate and a football player who plays with his helmet on. 

Proud To Be A Saints Fan

And not just because they're 3-0 and kicking ass. Saints Linebacker Scott Fujita did an interview with Dave Zirin of The Nation and spoke out in support of marriage equality and of the Baltimore Ravens Brendan Ayanbadejo who wrote a blog post on the issue:

Scott Fujita, defensive captain of the New Orleans Saints, supports Ayanbadejo's stance. "I hope he's right in his prediction, and I hope even more that it doesn't take that long. People could look at this issue without blinders on...the blinders imposed by their church, their parents, their friends or, in our case, their coaches and locker rooms. Fujita continued, "I wish they would realize that it's not a religion issue. It's not a government issue. It's not even a gay/straight issue or a question of your manhood. It's a human issue. And until more people see that, we're stuck arguing with people who don't have an argument." Fujita has also endorsed the October 11 National Equality March in Washington.

More Malakatude From The King Of Nothing

Congressman Steve King's mouth is the gift that keeps on giving. He's once again in a tizzy about gay marriage and socialism:

If there's a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources.

Wow, "those people" are diabolical. So, the road to socialism involves wedding planners, caterers and bridezillas? Who knew? I guess Sullivan forgot to post the master plan...

UPDATE: Congressman Malaka must have had an extra bowl of crazy for breakfast. He's now denouncing President Obama for being the evil mastermind behind ACORN or some such shit. Get thee to TPM for more madness and malakatude.

Vermont!

Woot:

Dressed in suits, saying their vows under a large wall-mounted moose head, the two Whitehall, N.Y., men promised their love, exchanged rings and held hands during a modest 17-minute ceremony. Moose Meadow Lodge co-owner Greg Trulson, who's also a Justice of the Peace, presided.

"It feels wonderful," said Slimback, 38, an out-of-work Teamster who is taking Sullivan's last name as his own. "It's a day I've been long waiting for, and a day I truly honestly thought would never come."

A.

Taking Up Oxygen the Rest of Us Could Be Using

Sinfonian explores Alaska morons NOT named Sarah Palin:

Note that Mayor Sullivan didn't say that a majority of people in Anchorage opposed the ordinance -- rather, only the majority of those who contacted the mayor's office opposed it (allegedly). I thought that it was the majority of the legislative body (in this case, the city Assembly) mattered more than who made the most phone calls or wrote the most angry, hate-filled letters and emails, but maybe I'm wrong. After all, Dan probably can see Russia from his office, so it's really not part of America anyway, right?

Also, the basic ignorance of reality in this instance by others who agree with the mayor is shocking even to someone like me, who should be used to the typical Republican aversion to facts by now:

Assembly Chairwoman Debbie Ossiander, a surprise vote against the measure last week, said she hasn't changed her mind.

Ossiander said she doesn't believe it's right to discriminate against gay people. But she said last week she feared that some language in the compromise might force businesses to create special facilities -- unisex bathrooms, for example.

Oh, no, we can't have unisex bathrooms! That's worse than socialism!

I'm so glad Blast Off! is back from hiatus.

A.

Now It's ON, Bitches

Oh yeah:

BOSTON – Massachusetts is suing the federal government over a law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

State Attorney General Martha Coakley filed the lawsuit Wednesday in federal court in Boston. It says the federal Defense of Marriage Act interferes with the right of Massachusetts to define marriage as it sees fit.

A.

Happy Dodd Photo

I knew I loved this man.

My young daughters are growing up in a different reality than I did. Our family knows many same-sex couples – our neighbors in Connecticut, members of my staff, parents of their schoolmates. Some are now married because the Connecticut Supreme Court and our state legislature have made same-sex marriage legal in our state.

But to my daughters, these couples are married simply because they love each other and want to build a life together. That’s what we’ve taught them. The things that make those families different from their own pale in comparison to the commitments that bind those couples together.

And, really, that’s what marriage should be. It’s about rights and responsibilities and, most of all, love.

Young Dodd. Tastycakes.

Seriously, though, he says something here I think will resonate with a lot of people his age and even my age:

I was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. And as many other Americans have realized as they’ve struggled to reconcile the principle of fairness with the lessons they learned early in life, that’s not an easy thing to overcome.

But the fact that I was raised a certain way just isn’t a good enough reason to stand in the way of fairness anymore.

Because I wasn't so much raised to believe that marriage was between a man and a woman — we weren't so much homophobic in my family as we were untalkative — as that I simply never had to confront the question. As a middle-class straight chick with middle-class straight friends (at least, friends who presented to me and the rest of the Catholic-school-going world as straight) it simply never came up. I feel bad about that now, wondering whose issues I simply ignored because I didn't know any better, but I don't think that's unusual, about anything, really. Not a lot of people consider the lives of others unlike them unless forced to, unless the reality of injustice to someone else is put in their path and they can't avoid it anymore.

The question then becomes, of course: Knowing, what did you do? Did you shut your eyes and talk about The Lord not liking all the boykissing, or did you look at what was in front of you and take it upon yourself to figure out what was your upbringing and what was your basic humanity? Where did the things you believed smash up against each other, and where did you have to choose: Fairness for all before the law, or the comfort of disdaining the stranger? Having to choose, what choice did you make? Having made a choice, did you speak up about it or did you keep quiet?

And while it will seem crazy to Dodd's daughters that we questioned this at all, this is how we change, one decision at a time, one choice at a time, one statement at a time.

A.

Our business within this common mortal life

In case anyone has ever wondered, I DO realize I'm an inconsistent, intellectually sloppy, lazy asshole a great deal of the time, online and off. I've seldom been accused of being a fierce activist, a rigorous thinker, or good soldier.

This isn't self-deprecation, just acknowledgment that I am those things many probably would describe me as. And yes, of course, I am more. It's almost 1 p.m. right now, I'm likely to be at least three people before I leave the office for home this afternoon. Like all of us, most of us anyway, I'm many selves and some of them on occasion are wonderfully brave, selfless, focused, and righteously eloquent. Mostly though, it's hit or miss.

The above musing has been brought to light by some restlessness I've felt lately, observing, as I am wont to do, the political spectacle surrounding us. Observing: most days it's that, a game watched from the distance. During the last season, the long election second half, we were players, or maybe at least waterboys. Closer to the field at least,  more invested, enfranchised, stakes were real.

Now back to observing mostly. Of course, that's a false construct (I hope) but it's helpful. Otherwise, what are we? Referees? The ball itself?

It's the "otherwise" that's making me fidgety lately. I'm a realist, I have a pragmatic, albeit fairly rudimentary, understanding of how our government organization works, how political capital is gained and spent, how consensus is built toward lawmaking, and sometimes even justice. I get that the players, and here I mean the elected, have to stay in the game to score.

So anyway, when I say that I admire our new president, it's the truth. I'm being honest when I say I was inspired by his campaign and by much of what he's done in office so far. It's also true that I've been heartbroken by more than a few of his compromises, none more so than those dealing with torture. So far I cannot discern a genuine moral or ethical motivation for his choices in this regard. I wish he was 10 times braver, I find some of his "changes," if not counterfeit, already devalued, and I wish he was more a leader and less a politician.

Likewise: when I see the progress of my own chosen tribe toward marriage equality and bringing down DADT, I'm genuinely excited. I know these are moves toward justice, and I think they are worthwhile struggles. At the very same time, I feel squeezed in by the accompanying trappings of conformity and assimilation. If I have one true self somewhere in that crowd of changing identities, I recognize that self is inherently an outsider, and I trust the strength and perspective one gains from being counter to, outside of, the mainstream.

That self wonders what marriage equality and serving in the military means when at this exact moment somewhere, there's a queer or transgendered kid who had to sleep in a bus station last night, no family, no home, no decent job, no supporting circle of loved ones.

Would the fights we are spending so much money and energy on have made a difference to the 10 year old that hung himself because the kids at school called him a faggot every day? And speaking of fighting, many of the elders whose collective shoulders we were lifted on are languishing in single rooms where the only visible culture is one of aging and death. Did they get what they fought for? Are we carrying on with them in mind?

I don't have an answer for any of this. Except that politics as a pastime seems very often incompatible with the complexities of engaging with the world.

Also that I probably watch too much television.

I Think That Day Has Just Begun

New Hampshire.



A.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

The book of love has music in it 

In fact that's where music comes from 

Some of it is just transcendental 

Some of it is just really dumb 

but I love it when you sing to me 

and you you can sing me anything 

The book of love is long and boring 

and written very long ago 

It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes 

and things we're all too young to know 

but I love it when you give me things 

and you ought to give me wedding rings

                                -Stephin Merritt

Disappointed?  Of course.  But not surprised.

I timed my lunch break so I could hear the court decision on Prop 8 today. Honestly, my first reaction was relief that the 18,000 couples already married would retain their rights.  That did surprise me, because I thought if the court was going to uphold it, they would "disappear" those marriages to avoid the resulting legal conundrum. 

But that didn't happen and I was relieved and that was my first reaction.  And yeah, I know that's not particularly politically astute of me, only seeing part of the picture. 

Even via Twitter, good neighbor LesbianDad (as usual) summed the bigger picture up perfectly: 

It was because of her family, my sweet friends Jeff and William, IRL married friends and those spread all over the blogosphere, that I felt that first, imperfect, selfish, visceral relief.  That those (relatively) few families made it into the lifeboats, that they wouldn't go to bed tonight with their legal rights in question. 

Then I got mad about the rest of it.  Especially as the afternoon wore on, as protestors got arrested, and our president remained conspicuously silent. Especially when this happened:

Q    Robert, do you have any reaction to the California Supreme Court decision on Prop 8?

MR. GIBBS:  I have not talked to the President about it.  I think the issues involved are ones that you know where the President stands.

Really Robert? Sure, Candidate Obama was damned outspoken but I am not as certain where President Obama stands. All I heard today was crickets. I don't care that he was busy with his SCOTUS pick and Harry Reid's fundraiser either, because there were a lot other fierce advocates who took the time and trouble to offer support today. Also because he is the President and it's his job to be busy.

At day's end, though, what I am left with is not just hope, but determination. Also, the certainty, the absolute surety of knowing, that even though this battle isn't over, hate and bigotry and fear and backward-thinking have already lost the war. It is inevitable. I know this today more than ever.

Someone who's been at this much, much longer than all the rest of us thinks so too. Veteran LGBT activist Phyllis Lyon, age 84:

I'm optimistic about the future. Look at all the states that have now done this. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. They may not all last. But it's going to be all right. It may not be while I'm alive, but eventually it will work out that if two people want to get married, they can get married and it won't matter to whom. We went through this before with people of color. It will be OK.

How low can you go?

Marriage in Limbo

   

Comedy writer Ali Davis can be found on Twitter, where she is hilarious pretty much daily. Also here and here, similarly hilarious.

Make The Money, See

So much for Michael Steele's argument that gay marriage is bad for small businesses. Florists and wedding planners seem to be doing just fine:

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts and a study released to coincide with the anniversary says that the state has reaped an additional $111M in revenue from gay weddings.

The average couple spends $7400 on their nuptials there and one in ten spends more than $20,000. "A second study by the same group found that young, highly educated people in same-sex relationships were 2.5 times more likely to move to Massachusetts after 2004 than before gay marriage became legal."

(Also, five years since Massachusetts legalized gay marriage? WHERE IS MY BIG GAY APOCALYPSE ALREADY? A girl can only wait so long.)

A.

Straight Black Marriage Will Make You White and Gay

Or something.

It is no secret that resistance to homosexuality is highest among the black population (though probably other ethnic minorities are close contenders). I fear that it will be harder than usual to persuade black men of the obligation to marry the mother of their children if the inevitable media saturation coverage associates marriage with homosexuals. Is the availability of homosexual marriage a valid reason to shun the institution? No, but that doesn’t make the reaction any less likely.

What are the chances that gay marriage would further doom marriage among blacks? I don’t know. Again, if someone can persuade me that the chances are zero, then I would be much more sanguine. But anything more than zero, I am reluctant to risk.

My favorite comment:

I've figured it out.

These people have 12 sided dice. They roll three of them to come up with these ridiculous stories.

"Okay, I got minority issues, personal responsibility, and gays! How do I tie this all together?"

It's like a new failboat party game.

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Your Old Road is Rapidly Aging

Please get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand, Mr. President:

Jake Tapper: Does the President or the White House have a reaction to the Governor of Maine signing a same-sex marriage bill?

Robert Gibbs: No, I think the President's position on same-sex marriages has been talked about and discussed.

Tapper: He opposes same-sex marriage.

Gibbs: He supports civil unions.

Tapper: Does that mean that he's going to say or do anything against what the citizens of Maine --

Gibbs: Not that I'm aware of. I think the President believes this is an issue that's best addressed by the states.

Look. I'm sure there are plenty of nervous people in the White House who don't want Obama to invite the gay marrieds to his parties but I also think it's about freaking time they got told to shut up and sit down. In case nobody's noticed the religious right and the Republicans have lost this culture war, and it's over, and even if that wasn't the case being publicly in favor of civil rights for all is kind of, you know, the right thing to do. So drop this nonsense and just get on with it, so that you don't have to spend the rest of your life making up excuses and mouthing crap about political expediency and justifying your chickenassitude to everyone.

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Maine becomes fifth state to allow gay marriage

UPDATED: New Hampshire's Legislature also passed a gay marriage bill today, which now goes to Gov. John Lynch for final approval.

"I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage." 

So said Governor John Baldacci today, after signing the gay marriage bill passed a few hours before by the Maine Legislature. The state senate voted 21-13 in favor of the measure and the House of Representatives approved it 89-57 on Tuesday.

My Marriage is Over

These people have ruined it forever.

I remember covering the marriage equality demonstrations in Chicago in 2004, and interviewing a young woman who had been on the phone with her partner. She was pacing up and down in front of City Hall fretting. "She's late. She's late for our wedding. Late on our wedding day." And for some reason (maybe because I was late to my own wedding, something Mr. A has yet to let me live down), that was what got to me.

Not that I'd ever been anti-gay-marriage, but being a straight girl the reality hadn't been something I'd ever had to consider. That woman, though, made me consider it. She was a bride, nervous about the arrival of her love, just as I'd been. And the look on her face when her fiancée finally came running up the walk — apologizing profusely for her tardiness, carrying flowers — reminded me of the look on my husband's when I walked up the aisle.

The couple I talked to wasn't married that day, though they stood in the hallway of the County Clerk's office, quietly insisting, "Marry us, or marry no one." No one was married that day; the protest ended when the office closed. They will be married one day, though, they and many others across this country. People were so nervous in 2004, that seeing all those weddings in San Francisco would set the cause of equality back decades, and it seemed, in the aftermath of the 2004 elections and again in the aftermath of Proposition 8, that maybe America would never get on board with what was right. But that's not the way it's going to stay. Look at those faces from Iowa.

Joy is infectious. Love is contagious. Faced with love, faced with the reality of love, it's no wonder the tide of public opinion in this country has changed, so that even people who HAD been uncomfortable with the idea of full civil equality changed their minds. When you are happy, you want happiness for everyone. When you are safe, you want safety for all. This is how we grow, how we expand the circle of those we call our own, by admitting everybody. There is no other way this happens. There is no other choice. We take one another's hands, toss the bouquet, and step out into the world together.

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It's Over, Rudy

When we mentioned that Giuliani has been threatening to use his opposition to same-sex marriage as a political tool, Cumming said: "Because his political career is going so well? I'm sure he's on the money with that one. I think he's an asshole. Please quote me on that."

It ain't 2004 anymore, that's for sure.

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Giant Gay Repellent Umbrella

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

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Phila Reads Bigots

So you don't have to:

Here we have someone who not only claims that there is a moral right to deny homosexuals rights, but also implies that there's no moral right not to deny them rights. And yet, he presents the logical legal implications of his own position as some ideological imposition forced on him by political correctness. He's not excluding them; they exclude themselves by being abnormal, just as blacks formerly "segregated" themselves by having the wrong skin color.

See, Franck doesn't come before us as a advocate of bigotry or religious persecution. He's simply taking a stand for reasoned judgment — the kind that comes to you as effortlessly as breathing, once you accept the correct political interpretation of the correct religious tradition:

Lost from view is the true ground of our common public morality: reasoned judgment about the natures of things and the good of human persons, families, and communities.

Or as Fred Phelps puts it, without any tedious pretense to intellectualism and rationality, God hates fags.

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Dispatches from the Marriage War

"You've already lost."

This one, from the GLAAD Media Awards, is a little long. Keith Olbermann won the Outstanding TV Journalism Segment Award for his memorable November 10th Special Comment on gay marriage in the wake of the passage of Prop 8. If you're antsy, the Olbermann part starts around 4:15.

Why we fight, reason #91,328

In The Years To Come

We will not be able to explain how it ever mattered at all who you loved. Vermont:

Laying out their agenda for the second half of the session, they concluded that the legislature can and should pass a bill ensuring the equal right to marry. The Senate Judiciary Committee will start the work on S.115, "An Act to Protect Religious Freedom and Promote Equality in Civil Marriage," sponsored by Senate leaders Peter Shumlin, John Campbell, and Claire Ayer, on Monday, March 16, when legislators return from the Town Meeting break.

Damn right. Via ONTD_Political.

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Don't Divorce Us

Damn.

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