FIRST DRAFT

Sen. Tom Coburn is a Flaming Bag of Dogshit

Or, at the very least, needs to fire his press secretary: 

Oklahoma Republican Sen. Tom Coburn will seek to offset federal aid to victims of a massive tornado that blasted through Oklahoma City suburbs on Monday with cuts elsewhere in the budget.

"That's always been his position [to offset disaster aid]," a spokesman told the Huffington Post Monday night. "He supported offsets to the bill funding the OKC bombing recovery effort."

Coburn, who intends to retire in 2016, joined his fellow Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe (R) last year in supporting an amendment that would have substantially cut a package of $60 billion dollars intended for reconstruction of the East Coast in the wake of Superstorm Sandy. 

If you are not a cactus-brained sociopath and actually want to help in OK, which got nailed today, try here. 

A. 

This Blog is So Great I Need a Cigarette: Kitty Week Concludes!

You all. YOU ALL. I said $300 for the kitties and you were all like "eh, okay, fine, but let's make it $500 and let's send notes of support and let's get our friends to chip in off the wish list because you may think we're great but actually we are so much better than you think we are and we do this EVERY DAMN TIME, like pay attention, lady." 

You raised $547 for the kitties. In four days. Because when the world's caving in you put your hands to good use. I'm so proud to know you all. 

I've got a message in to the Feral Fixers crew to find out what their greatest need is right now, and whatever that is, they'll have that taken care of. You guys are the absolute best. Way to redeem one of the worst weeks in recorded history by making kitties happy. Thank you thank you thank you thank you! 

A. 

Kitty Week: Homestretch

So I set a new goal, and you guys get us to within $75 of THAT. That's right, we're now at $425 for the kitties! You guys are the best blog ever. 

Let's get this done. Push us over the top today. Five hundred bucks for these kittens to roll around in like Scrooge McDuck.

They're so tiny. They need a warm place to sleep and somebody to take care of them if they get sick. They need litter, and towels, and electric blankets, and food to fill their tiny, teeny, little fuzzy bellies. 

I know we can get there. DOOO EEEET. 

A. 

Kitty Week DAY TWO

Look at this wee fuzzy kitty. So soft, so warm, so adorable. 

Don't you want that kitty to have a cozy electric blanket if it's cold and a clean litterbox to ignore and a safe place to sleep at night?

Yeah, you know you do. So participate in kitty week, and make the sweet kitty happy. 

A. 

Roll the Flood Back: First Draft Kitty Week!

So last week was the worst week ever, and in addition to the bombings in Boston, the ricin, the gun control fail, the West, Texas explosion, the manhunt and its conclusion, and various politicians' using their pieholes to talk, the Chicago suburbs flooded. As in, six feet of water in people's basements, parts of EXPRESSWAYS closed, stranded/drowned cars in sinkholes, etc. 

Among the flooding victims was Feral Fixers, a cat shelter and spay-neuter-release program in Lombard. Their cats are all safe, but this shelter lost everything: 

Let's do this and get out of this miserable slump. Let's raise some money for the kitties. Feral Fixers needs: 

• Towels
• Blankets
• 6” paper plates
• Canned cat food
• Paper towels
• Newspaper
• Kitty Litter (Special Kitty Cat Litter is preferred)
• New Electric Heating Blankets
• Scotch tape, "Sharpie" permanent Markers and Copier paper
• Furry Toy Mice (for cats in Foster)
• "Silent Auction" items for our fundraisers
• Orijen dry cat food
• Gift Cards (Jewel, Dominick’s, Menards, Home Depot, Pet Supplies Plus, Walmart, gas station)

Hit the tip jar up and put "kitties" or "kitty week" in the comments field. 

I figure, if we can get to $300 by week's end, Mr. A and I will go on a shopping spree Friday night and deliver a CARLOAD of everything they need to the Elmhurst PetCo where they're taking donations. 

You can also donate to them directly here, or buy from their Wal-Mart registry here. 

Let's do something to make this neverending misery stop. Let's make things for the kitties better. 

A. 

Reality Calling

Yesterday I went to my Wingnut Dentist to get a crown. I don’t know why I haven’t switched dentists; this guy is so conservative, he actually has dead-tree editions of Newsmax in his waiting room. (Did you even know there IS a dead tree edition of Newsmax? I should leave a copy of Mother Jones in there just to fuck with him.)

But I really don’t want to find a new dentist, I’ve been going there for over 20 years, and I’ve got pretty healthy teeth, so 90% of the time it’s just pop in for 15 minutes twice a year for a cleaning and that’s it. But the wingnut shit is starting to bug me.

Actually, I really didn’t realize what raging wingnuts they were until rather recently. Once, a couple years into the Iraq war, one of the hygienists told me she was still convinced that Saddam had WMDs. She said one of her clients was in the National Guard and told her that they have WMDs now that are as big as an iPod. I’m no expert but I was pretty sure she was confusing WMDs with IEDs. Regardless, the idea that the U.S. could be threatened from Baghdad by something the size of an iPod defied credibility. But what do I know, even if that were true, wouldn't said iPod need to be filled with enriched uranium and other shit that's closely monitored by the international community?

Again, what do I know. But hey, no uranium enriched iPods have been found, so there's that. Score one for the hippie.

I switched hygienists, but wouldn’t you know, I go in there for my biannual cleaning a couple years later and the new hygienist has switched the TV from the usual video of horrific dental implants to Fox News. I told her no way was I going to be subjected to having my gums poked while watching Fox News. I made her change the channel. “Oh,” she says, “I don’t watch it for the politics, just the news.” 

Le Sigh.

And so this brings us to yesterday, where my dentist and his assistant are talking about how warm the weather is, like this is fabulous, and how we’ll be “in the clear” weather-wise in a month or two, all the while I’m screaming in my head (because I’ve got a mouthful of putty and can’t say a word) “don’t you remember the damaging hail storm of last March and the tornados of the year before that and the floods of three years ago? In the clear?! Give me fucking break! We’re never ever ever ever going to be in the clear!” I mean, here it is February and our daffodils and forsythia are already blooming. But yes, remind me again about how climate change is a liberal hoax so Al Gore can make money off his clean energy fund.

 On Monday it was 60 degrees; today the high will be in the 40s and it’s getting down into the 20s tonight. You don’t get these wild temperature swings without a lot of strong winds, and indeed, yesterday saw a lot of limbs down in the neighborhood. But again: keep telling yourself that the crazy weather patterns are “cyclical” and completely unrelated to the billions and billions of tons of carbon we pump into the atmosphere every year. Even though they’re not.

I just don’t get the conservative mentality. They’re all agreeing how warm the weather has been for the past few years, they can see the daffodils blooming in February, we rarely get snow and when we do it’s gone in two hours, but they still think climate change isn’t real?

So, should I change dentists?

Weekend Question Thread

If I saw THIS coming for me, I think I'd start saying Hail Marys, and I don't pray very often. 

What's the scariest weather event you've ever personally seen?

A. 

How soon they forget

It's not news that a GOP Congresscritter elected in the 2010 teabagger wave election would vore against aid for Hurricane Sandy victims. It is, however, news when that malaka is from Biloxi, MS and his district was ground zero for Katrina. Here's a statement from Congressman Steven Palazzo's office:

Congressman Palazzo fully supports a Sandy relief package that includes spending offsets.  On the heels of a fiscal cliff deal that added $4 trillion to our existing $16 trillion national debt, we must ensure that disaster relief is paid for.  He also hopes we will be able to have a much-needed national discussion on disaster relief reform in the coming days.

This would be hilarious if it weren't so pitiful. I *hope* that the voters punish him in 2014 but I'm not optimistic. Next thing you know he'll blame the Real Housewives Of New Jersey for his vote. Relief money could fall into the hands of Tree and Juicy Joe Giudice, after all...

In Palazzo's lexicon, E is not for empathy but H *is* for hypocrisy.

Staten Island Still Suffering

The poor and vulnerable are always the most at risk: 

The residents of Staten Island are pleading for help from elected officials, begging for gasoline, food and clothing three days after Sandy slammed the New York City borough.

“We’re going to die! We’re going to freeze! We got 90-year-old people!” Donna Solli told visiting officials. “You don’t understand. You gotta get your trucks down here on the corner now. It’s been three days!”

Staten Island was one of the hardest-hit communities in New York City. More than 80,000 residents are still without power. Many are homeless, and at least 19 people died on Staten Island because of the storm.

One of the devastated neighborhoods was overwhelmed by a violent surge of water. Residents described a super-sized wave as high as 20 feet, with water rushing into the streets like rapids.

Staten Island resident Mike Abuzzio’s home is completely gone, with only his floor boards remaining. He, his wife and their two young daughters have been staying with relatives.

“My youngest daughter yesterday said, ‘Daddy, I want to go,’” Abuzzio told ABC News. “I told her, ‘It’s going to be awhile, hon.’ She doesn’t understand. She’s 6.”

Hopefully the past few days have put paid to the idea that government is evil and must be shrunk down to nothing so that "we" can afford ... I don't know, other stuff? Non-government things? Drones? A fucking marathon (are you kidding me with this)? Another party for rich people? When people call for aid, who do you think responds? The national fucking guard, the city and state and national agencies, so you starve them, and the cries for help go unanswered. 

It keeps happening, and we keep doing every fucking thing we can do to avoid learning. 

A. 

Guest Post: From Storm-Aftermath Central

A guest post from a good New Yorker friend of mine, Sexy Feminist co-founder Jennifer Keishin Armstrong. I asked Jennifer to give me a picture of what was happening in her neck of the woods post-storm, about who was okay and who wasn't and what's happening right now. 

By Jennifer Keishin Armstrong 

It turns out that if you aren’t in absolute immediate horrible danger during a hurricane (as many people were, and that is unimaginable) … if you get through a hurricane having experienced just a power outage and a lot of howling winds from the relative privilege of your sixth-floor apartment in an all-brick building … then, the worst can still be yet to come. My boyfriend, Jesse, and I had a romantic evening the night Hurricane Sandy hit, shrugging as the second episode ofLouie we’d cued up on Apple TV cut out along with our electricity. We had candles and flashlights ready, so we just switched over to cuddling on the sofa and reading Jonathan Franzen (me) and David Sedaris (him). We went to sleep early. What else did we have to do?

The next morning, we felt lucky, like we’d survived a hurricane, and relatively unscathed. (We were not impressed with Hurricane Irene last year — we prepared for days and ended up feeling almost nothing. We made chocolate fondue with a candle fondue set, even though we hadn’t lost power, just because we’d bothered to get a candle fondue set.) We headed out in the frigid rain that continued in the aftermath, just to see what was going on. We’d been out of the news loop for 12 hours. As we walked, it started to dawn on us that life was not to continue on as usual. Lines snaked outside darkened bodegas, the shop owners letting people in two at a time to prevent looting. We grabbed bread and batteries and coffee and beer. (You see our priorities.) We decided to walk north as it became clear that our part of the city — 14^th Street and Avenue B, just above the East Village and the Lower East Side, a block from that exploding power plant that was all over the Internet — was without power and ostensibly shut down. (Aside from the bodegas.) 

As we headed into the wind up First Avenue,  Jesse lost his favorite baseball cap in a puddle. Both of our glasses misted with rain. I voiced my desire to turn around and go home — what were we expecting to get out of this? Still, we soldiered on with others from our neighborhood, people in sweats and pajamas heading north, trying to get their cell phones to function. Texts were intermittent, internet and phone capabilities down. I got a text from a friend who lives near us: “There is power north of 40^th.” This kept us going. Sure enough, at 41^st Street, a wine store, totally civilized, running, credit card machine functional, power outlets to spare. We bought three bottles of red wine and kept going. I don’t even know what we thought we’d find, or what we wanted. We were just so happy to see regular civilization. As others crossed 40^th, you saw it over and over: “Oh my God, you guys! That place is open!” We went up a few more blocks and wandered into a Hallmark store for candles. It took a while to find unscented ones, but we got about a half dozen. Then I noticed a whole power strip in a back corner, most of its outlets brazenly open and available. We plugged our phones in for a half-hour or so while we read horribly un-clever cards and thanked god we’d never buy “bachelorette party favors.” As we left and paid for the candles, we found another godsend: a solar-powered flashlight.

We felt invigorated, ready to face this thing. We would spend the evening reading by candlelight, drinking wine! It would be relaxing, like a vacation! But when we finally returned home, tired from our 60-block round trip, another discovery: Our water service had disappeared. Apparently water needs electricity to travel upstairs. There was no hope of it returning, except perhaps intermittently with the use of tiny emergency generators.

Next plan.

We called Jesse’s mom in Pennsylvania, but she’d also lost power, and it would have been hard for us to get there anyway. We kept texting friends in the area to see who had what resources, but it was hard: Every text had to be sent three or four times before it went through. Finally, a miracle: Jesse’s friend Chris, who lived just over the bridge in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, had electricity, warm water, and wifi. I almost sobbed at how wonderful that suddenly sounded. We ravaged our apartment for maps to figure out how to walk there — hmm, yeah, we didn’t have those anymore. Chris managed to text us Google maps walking directions. We set out on the 3.5-mile trek, dragging our rolling suitcases in the opposite direction from where we’d gone that morning.

Here was the real dire situation. By just 3 p.m. the day after Sandy, things looked bleak throughout the East Village and Lower East Side. Awnings were toppled, a few windows were broken. Everything was dark and closed. Stoplights, of course, weren’t functioning. Bodega shelves were emptied.

When we finally crossed the Williamsburg Bridge, we entered another dimension, one even better from what was going on north of 40^th Street: We were shocked to find people drinking in bars, restaurants preparing for the dinner rush, hipster vintage clothing boutiques up and running. One place was seriously selling home accessories, as if that might be what someone wanted to pick up that day. And someone did. Shoppers were inside. We joked about being offended that this could go on so normally. But it was soothing. We could see lines being drawn already: The Haves in Brooklyn and North of 40; the Have-Nots in Lower Manhattan.

We’re still at Chris’ place two days later, bless his heart. He even gave us his bed and slept in his living room. He has warm water that comes out of the faucet any time you want. He has internet, clearly. We’ve been enjoying pretending to live in Williamsburg, which, if you don’t know, is the hipster capital of the universe. We hit the local American Apparel for underwear, socks, and T-shirts to get us through a few more days. I hit an overwhelmingly packed yoga class full of gorgeous, skinny people with oversized glasses and aggressively cool haircuts. We’re obsessing over the news. I loved seeing Chris Christie defending Obama and sticking it to Fox News. Hell, I just loved seeing Chris Christie, windblown and wearing his custom “Chris Christie, Governor” fleece.

Things are still really shitty back home in our complex; we live in Stuyvesant Town/Peter Cooper Village, where 20,000 people are now heading into their third day of trying to survive with no power or water. (If you want to see some serious drama, check out the management’s Facebook page right now.) We’re going back there tomorrow to check on things, and ConEd swears the whole city will be powered by Saturday. Suddenly, in a city where people are now rationing bread, waiting in hours-long lines for buses, and flashing cash on the street to get cabbies to stop, that feels unthinkably, uncomfortably luxurious.

We’re hoping for the best, and we know how lucky we are.

Malaka Of The Week: Michael Bloomberg

I've never cared for Michael Bloomberg. Arrogant plutocratic billionaires aren't my cup of tea. But I've never spent much time thinking about him. That has changed. Not because of his endorsement of the Prez, but because of his preposterously arrogant and hubristic (izzat a word?) plan to hold the New York Marathon as scheduled this weekend.That's why Mayor Billionaire Media Mogul is malaka of the week.

Lemme see: half of Manhattan doesn't have power, they're still finding dead bodies in Staten Island and Mayor Malaka is determined to tie up police resources with a marathon? Methinks his priorities are a trifle skewed. I recall all the brickbats when we in NOLA went on with Mardi Gras in 2006, which was months after Katrina and the Federal Flood (see, Harry, we do call it that here at First Draft.) The Marathon isn't even a full week after the Frankenstorm obliged Bloomberg to trot out his horrendous Spanish for public consumption. I almost called it high school Spanish but it isn't that good. I do, however, dig his ASL translator, she can bust some moves, y'all.

My friend Gambit editor, Kevin Allman, has been on the Bloomberg beat this week as well as beating Bloomberg down. I don't usually post quotes this long but I cannot top this:

Remember 48 hours after Katrina struck and the levees collapsed, when people were still trapped in buildings and the number of dead was still unknown? When the electricity was still out, hospitals were closed and essential services were stretched beyond the breaking point?

Now imagine if New Orleans had a marathon planned for the following weekend after Hurricane Katrina — and Ray Nagin insisted that, despite the state of emergency, tens of thousands of runners hit the streets.

Because that's what's happening in New York right now:

"I think some people said you shouldn't run the marathon," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said at a news briefing Wednesday. "There's an awful lot of small businesses that depend on these people. We have to have an economy. There's lots of people that have come here. It's a great event for New York, and I think for those who were lost, you've got to believe they would want us to have an economy and have a city go on for those that they left behind."

OK. Now just imagine the cable-news and talk-radio reaction — even a fraction of the reaction — had Nagin suggested New Orleans hold a marathon six days after Katrina, and that running it was somehow a tribute to those who had perished.

This is the same Bloomberg who, on Saturday, turned down President Barack Obama and FEMA's offer of help: "President Obama asked Craig Fugate from FEMA to call me earlier in the day and offer any help. I assured him that we had, we think, everything under control but we appreciate the effort. What FEMA really can do is to help those parts of the country that don't have all of the extensive facilities and agencies and practice that New York City does. But I did want to thank them for their offer." (He later reversed himself, saying FEMA had been "spectacularly helpful" so far.)

Yesterday Bloomberg turned down a visit from Obama, saying, "“What I pointed out to them is we would love to have him, but we have lots of things to do."

Perhaps understandable — a presidential visit to a disaster area can create a lot of distraction and chaos.

But a marathon is OK.

Christine Brennan of USA Today says it better than I can:

"New York's leaders are shockingly, unbelievably, moving ahead with one of the most logistically challenging sporting events in the world.

This is just what a city reeling from a once-in-a-lifetime storm doesn't need: a massive road race crossing through five boroughs that usually attracts 47,000 runners and 2 million spectators and requires 8,000 volunteers, 1,000 staff members and hundreds of police and other city workers and services. It's an unnecessary distraction coming at the worst time for the city and the region."

I'm not going to defend Ray Nagin's decisions after the storm. But I don't think there is language scathing enough to express what would have been said had Nagin spurned FEMA's help right before Katrina struck — and then forged ahead with a plan to hold a marathon within the week.

So what's the difference?

The only problem with Kevin's post is that he didn't use the M word to describe Bloomberg and we all know how that's spelled: m-a-l-a-k-a. Uh oh, I seem to be having a Mickey Mouse Club flashback.

This whole episode is yet another illustration of how stratified our allegedly classless society really is. Working class folks in Staten Island are on their knees but Mayor Money Bags insists on going through with an event that makes absolutely no sense at this particular time and place. Let them eat Nikes.

Bloomberg is actually making Chris Fucking Christie look good. And if that ain't malakatude, I don't know what is.

I'm not sure what Todd Rundgren thinks of all this but I'll give him the last word. The only thing Mayor Malaka can't stop running is his mouth:

 

Waves of empathy

I don't usually go in for even a semi-poetic tone but the images of NYC and Atlantic City have got me thinking about our little thing here in NOLA 7 years ago. 7 years? It was really another lifetime but whenever there's a big disaster-especially in a place I've spent time in like Manhattan-my stomach gets knotted and my expression gets grim.

There's always an adrenaline rush before and during a massive system like Sandy. The next day comes the hangover, when the scope and extent of the damage is clear. This is a particularly strange event since it started as a tropical system and then morphed into a blizzardy, wintery mess. I don't envy folks who are digging out from this system having to deal with cold weather. Sarcasm alert: Climate change obviously does not exist.

There seems to be an immutable rule that the worst parts of a storm system come in after sunset in order to be even scarier. Another immutable rule is that some teevee journos will do and say stupid things. Southern Beale has a few scathing words about that over at her joint.

Speaking of stupid things said on teevee. It is *not* better to lose power when it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk than when it's cold. It's just different. As someone who lost power for 5 days after Isaac, I know that from personal experience. Either sucks the big one and there's not a whole helluva lot you can do about it but be patient until you're not.

Athenae has posted a bit about the politics of the Frankenstorm but I'll chime in too. I usually cannot stand Joisey Governor Chris (STFU, I'm the Gov) Christie but he has called Obama's response thus far "outstanding."

Thanks, Governor; good way of hedging your bets and looking towards 2016 if Willard goes down. Of course, it helps when the Prez appoints the most qualified person in the country, Craig Fugate, as FEMA director. One final thing about Christie: lose the shirt with Chris Christie, Governor stitched on it. It looks like a maternal camp name tag or something. You don't wanna look like Edward Norton in Moonrise Kingdom, after all.

Willard is already circling around how to pretend he hasn't called for FEMA's functions to be returned to the states or, better still, in his view, to a private company. Bad idea. We saw enough FEMA crony capitalism in post-Katrina New Orleans to last a life time.

I assume that Mittbot's plan is to lie, deny and later vilify his way out of the corner he painted himself into. It's what he does. At the risk of sounding like a religious bigot, it's classic male LDS behavior. When Joseph Smith got caught with his pantaloons down, he had a revelation from God that plural marriage rocked. In the 1970's when the Mormon church was under fire for its racist policies, then President Spencer Kimball had a revelation from God that they should change that. It's a form of self-righteous denial that has served Willard well. It's the main reason why he seems to *believe* his whoppers. Politico just believes them because they're biased and want the drama of a close election. There's enough drama without that right now, y'all.

Enough nattering from me for now. I hope all my Northeast peeps are high and dry. Just gird yourself for a long, slow process and be thankful that the infra-structure in Joisey and Noo Yawk is better than that in NOLA. I somehow doubt that we'll be able to comply with Springsteen's request to "meet me tonight in Atlantic City." 

  

Hurricane Sandy and No We Can't

Seriously: 

 Mr. Romney not only believes that states acting independently can handle the response to a vast East Coast storm better than Washington, but that profit-making companies can do an even better job. He said it was “immoral” for the federal government to do all these things if it means increasing the debt.

It’s an absurd notion, but it’s fully in line with decades of Republican resistance to federal emergency planning. FEMA, created by President Jimmy Carter, was elevated to cabinet rank in the Bill Clinton administration, but was then demoted by President George W. Bush, who neglected it, subsumed it into the Department of Homeland Security, and placed it in the control of political hacks. The disaster of Hurricane Katrina was just waiting to happen.

The agency was put back in working order by President Obama, but ideology still blinds Republicans to its value. Many don’t like the idea of free aid for poor people, or they think people should pay for their bad decisions, which this week includes living on the East Coast.

Over the last two years, Congressional Republicans have forced a 43 percent reduction in the primary FEMA grants that pay for disaster preparedness. Representatives Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor and other House Republicans have repeatedly tried to refuse FEMA’s budget requests when disasters are more expensive than predicted, or have demanded that other valuable programs be cut to pay for them. The Ryan budget, which Mr. Romney praised as “an excellent piece of work,” would result in severe cutbacks to the agency, as would the Republican-instigated sequester, which would cut disaster relief by 8.2 percent on top of earlier reductions.

You know what? Fuck this. People should pay for their bad decisions? Okay. And THEN WHAT? God Almighty, then what? Then they'll have paid, and there will still be flood water over everything, and people will be broke and homeless, but hey, at least we can go to sleep at night knowing somebody's paid ... how? What is the practical benefit to anybody of saying to someone who's been fucked over by nature or life too bad, so sad, I'mma take the ten bucks we would have spent on that and throw it at Starbucks? 

I do not GET THIS. I don't. What the TITS. When a disaster strikes I want big government, small government, medium-sized government. I want all the government ever. I want the neighbors and the charities and the churches and the families and the friends, too. Every crack in the plaster needs to be patched and every problem needs to be solved, and I want as many people putting that puzzle together as possible. All hands on the fucking deck. Here's a bucket. Start bailing the water out. 

I want everybody to be figuring out how to do more, instead of fighting over the best way to do less without looking like too much of an asshole about it. 

And you know, I think the majority of Americans want this, too. It's just that for the past 40 years we've had this constant drumbeat of no we can't, it's too hard, we can't afford it, everybody fends for themselves, there's no help for anybody, let's all just go home and if you have to step over a homeless dude to get to your car then do it because that's the price of doing business. People deserve to have their homes submerged and their shops wiped out and their lives ruined because of where they live or what they do or who they are, and there's nothing anybody can do about it, because only government is big enough to solve this problem and we all know government isn't the answer to anything anymore. 

But deep down we've still got that nagging feeling that somebody somewhere ought to be on top of shit, that most of the time people don't deserve what they get (and thank God for that, by the way, she says while conducting the express train to hell), that we are better and bigger and stronger than this, and we're just straining against the goddamn harness to do something. And disaster preparedness and emergency management are some of the most basic things government can do to prevent us from tearing ourselves apart when something shitty happens, to take that instinct and direct it outward instead of inward. 

To make us help, rather than letting us hurt. 

A. 

Sending It Out To New York City Tonight

Witnessning the unraveling of the city, those of Harry Penn's reporters who were not killed (as many of them were) returned to The Sun to write about it. They sensed that this was the proper thing to do, even if everything else had gone to hell, because they knew enough to know that whenever the world ends it always manages to begin again, and they had no intention of being left out.

— Winter's Tale, Mark Helprin

The New York Daily News is updating from a darkened newsroom. There are floodwaters in the subway tunnels and hospitals are without power. Various jackasses are making various kinds of jackassed remarks for which it is not only too soon, but will never not be too soon. And as always, there are acts of extraordinary bravery happening amidst the chaos. 

Remember tonight that there is no part of America that America can live without. Donate to the Red Cross for disaster relief here. 

A. 

Hurricane Sandy: Politico is All Over the Important Shit

Nature is currently trying to kick the shit out of an entire half of the country, and it's time for the big question: 

1) Will Mitt Romney’s momentum be stopped?

It’s hard to see how the storm helps. The Republican nominee has more than closed the gap with the incumbent over the final weeks of the campaign, taking a slim lead in most national polls. But his national boost hasn’t been mirrored in two pivotal states: Ohio and Virginia. Already Romney had to scrap a full day’s worth of events in Virginia Sunday.

Obama has had to change his schedule, too, but he’s not the one trying to make up ground.

And even though there are multiple schools of thought on how Sandy could affect voters’ feelings about the candidates or the nuts and bolts of getting folks to turn out, it’s still hard to see how the storm could help Romney. That is, unless the government botches the response and voters blame Obama.

Let's be clear about this: If government botches the response, voters should blame Obama. Also, please kill me quickly. It's hard to see how the storm would help Romney? That's because THE STORM ISN'T ABOUT ROMNEY. It's about how lots of people are getting their asses kicked and New York is going full zombie apocalypse and we have long lists of folks who are basically being reduced to Little House on the Prairie-style living for who knows how the fuck long. But hey, don't let's let that interfere with your need to make everything about OMFG HORSE RACE! 

Speaking of which:

2) Does Obama have a natural advantage because he’s president?

It is so rude of Hurricane Sandy to make Obama look good by being in a particular chair at this particular time. So unfair to Republicans. 

The short answer: yes. The longer answer: not if he makes an unforced error. While George W. Bush’s response to Hurricane Katrina ranks among the worst blunders in modern presidential history, it has also ensured that no president or candidate will under-react to the threat of a devastating natural disaster.

SO IT WAS A WIN, AFTER ALL. That Politico, always finding a silver lining in some dead people. I bet they're super-glad they're dead if it gave politicians the wake-up call they needed to realize that making sure people stay alive is the number-one job of fucking government.  

5) Does this throw a wrench into Obama’s vaunted ground game?

Maybe.

Well, that clears that up. I'm so pleased we have learned political authority figures to tell us what we need to know. 

You know whose "vaunted ground game" this storm throws a wrench into? (How does one exactly throw a wrench into a game? I mean, do you just fling it out on the basketball court or ...) The entirety of Atlantic City: 

It's like nothing exists except as holograms in the goddamn TV studio. What's really fucking depressing? The most grown-up person in this entire story is Mitt Fucking Romney: 

“Governor Romney’s concern is the safety and well-being of those in the path of this storm, not political considerations,” said Andrea Saul.

Silly Andrea. That's not how you WIN THE MORNING AND THE AFTERNOON. 

A. 

 

Stay Safe, Everybody

You hit us up on this blog or via e-mail if you need something, you hear? 

Because yikes. 

A. 

In NOLA

Adrastos is without power, but checked in via text to say the area is expecting three FEET of water. Oscar is cool, but Della's starting to get a little wigged out. 

Updates and flood photos are being posted here. 

Stay safe, everybody, and check in if you can. Please e-mail or tweet me if you need the blog to do something. 

A. 

Happy Kerry Video

On climate change: 

A. 

Valuing Journalism: David Simon

David Simon, who I love as a storyteller: 

And this slow suicide — as the great Molly Ivins called it — will continue unabated until the industry swallows hard and takes its product — every last newspaper — behind a paywall.

And if they don’t do that?

If not, then it is the day of the “citizen journalist,” which is to say, the day of the amateur. And American institutions, or for that matter the world as a whole, will not be held accountable by individuals doing this as a hobby.

Paywalls have nothing to do with what happened to the Times-Picayune. I saw a lot of carping last week about "how many people bitching about this on the Internet actually subscribe" and whatnot, as though commenting on Twitter was itself an act destructive to Noble Print. I saw a lot of whinging about how "people don't read" anymore. I saw a lot of eulogizing about newspapers being a dying form, as if the Times-Picayune wasn't profitable.

Make no mistake here: The Times-Picayune is not the victim of the Freedom Loving Internet or changing times or reading habits of the young'uns or anything other than a rapacious corporate desire for profit over the public good, and that's a problem that afflicted journalism long before the Internet came into being. Speaking as someone who worked in newspapers when we went from cut-and-paste to actual computer layout, who saw two newspapers create their very first web sites, both before and after the same problem existed: The people in charge were greedy, venal, lazy and stupid, and liked playing with matches. 

They liked fudging circulation numbers and screwing up distribution routes, undermining newsroom budgets when they weren't outright stealing. They liked telling reporters there was no money for journalism while buying drinks for their parties. They liked firing people who had been in place too long, hiring young cheap college grads, and then telling the older folks still left that it was the younger folks' fault for taking a job that was offered to them. They liked changing what was covered from one day to the next. They liked letting minimum-wagers "sell" their subscriptions and they liked delivering so inconsistently that even if people wanted the paper, they couldn't find or get it. 

And they could get away with all this because even with TV and radio, they were still the dominant form, and there was enough money to cover up all but the most catastrophic of their mistakes. When the dot-com bubble burst and American manufacturing went into a death spiral and the economy started to tank, the money started to dry up and people started seeing fire where before there'd only been smoke. 

The idea of that "industry" (really a disparate collection of corporations that have no incentive to cooperate in any way and in fact share little beyond a medium) "swallowing hard" and coming to one conclusion about improving itself is impractical at best, even if you believe paywalls are the answer. Any smart companies will let the stupid, greedy ones burn, and paywalls or no, the stupid greedy ones will end up as charcoal because this isn't about form, it's about managing money and mission, and these people suck at that and have no incentive to change. What incentive is there, when you can gut a company and walk away with millions? 

While that fire's raging, where does that leave those of us who do care about journalism, as I have no doubt Simon does, deeply? It leaves us with people wanting to do journalism. To hold institutions to account. To do what freelance reporters and "amateurs" — like newspaper publishers always are before they buy presses and file incorporation papers — have always done, which is to find out something that's going wrong and tell as many people as possible. 

What do they do? Some of them will publish online. Some of them will form nonprofit collectives and fundraise from those who do care about supporting this kind of work. Some of them will continue to work for the profitable papers that aren't run by stupid hacks. Some of them will freelance and have day jobs, as many people who call themselves journalists already do. Some of them will start their own newspapers, which by the way wouldn't be the worst idea for a well-connected, successful reporter and producer to do in New Orleans. 

Knocking those people as hobbyists before they've made their bones, and telling them they have no chance of accomplishing their mission, is not helpful to them and it's not helpful to journalism. Internet triumphalism is tiresome, yes, but so is Internet fatalism, and it's hard not to take this sort of thing personally when you're out there busting your ass online BECAUSE nobody in print gave a shit what you were trying to do, back when it was rude to point out that the war on terror was bullshit.  

Let's be clear about this: When we have fights about amateurs versus professionals, when we have fights about print versus online, about paywalls that make pennies, about subscriptions instead of ads, about form and function instead of mission and management, we are having the fight the people in charge want us to have while they run away with the piggy bank. 

We are letting the arsonists decide who gets to be on the fire brigade. 

A. 

Oh Yeah

Since everyone else posts pet photos, I guess I should show off my roommate's pet.  It's a rat.  I call it Ratty.  She's a cute little rodent, I must admit.

 

Yeah, it's blurry. You try getting a rat to sit still.

Kinda hard to believe they're plague vectors, no?

So there you go.

Penguin Win

What do they like? We should send them a case of it in thanks. 

A. 

Oh, NOW it's Fucking ON, Bitches

Real weatherman gets all huffy about groundhog treading on his rightful turf: 

We are expected to act as the groundhog's spokesperson and explain the archaic shenanigans of a bunch of old men with large top hatswho enjoy pulling a rodent out his hole, thrusting him in the air and making proclamations about whether or not winter will continue.  This will be my 26th Groundhog Day as a broadcast meteorologist so I have heard just about every joke there is regarding the day.

[snip]

We might as well ask a giraffe for stock picks, he could probably be just as accurate.

So Punxsutawney Phil is a punk when it comes to weather forecasting. 

I'm so glad the Internet is killing journalism, some days, I really am. 

A. 

More GOP Snake Oil

House Goopers are outraged over attempts to regulate-I am not making this up-snake sales:

In a new report entitled "Broken Government: How the Administrative State has Broken President Obama's Promise of Regulatory Reform," GOP members cited the proposed snake ban as one of seven examples of red tape choking off job growth in an already ailing economy.

One witness invited to testify, snake breeder David Barke, told lawmakers that the rules "threatens as many as a million law-abiding American citizens and their families with the penalty of a felony conviction for pursuing their livelihoods, for pursuing their hobby, or for simply moving with their pet to new state."

Politico reports that Florida officials, led by Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL), are pushing for the new rules because the Everglades are under attack by 100,000 gigantic Burmese pythons who have been accidentally introduced by negligent pet owners. The outside invaders have been on a rampage, devouring native birds and other creatures. One python grew so big that it managed to devour a six-foot alligator before exploding. No really. This actually happened. There's a photo.

In the on-going battle over the dismal state of the jobs market, Republicans argue that a "regulatory tsunami" from the Obama administration is choking off jobs growth. Committee members say the free market should handle the giant pythons and that government tampering would "devastate a small but thriving sector of the economy."

Devastation in the snake market? Lord, have mercy; the sky is falling. How dare those Florida nanny staters try to keep deadly non-native snakes out of their eco-system. They're also interfering with the religious freedoms of various snake handling cults...

This has got to be one of the stupidest things I've seen recently and given how the stupid and crazy are in, that's saying a lot. Also, who the hell wants to own a poisonous snake? I guess they're free range and free market idiots...

   

Texas fires: how to help

Just a few places to donate:

American Red Cross of Central Texas

Austin Pets Alive!

Capital Area Food Bank 

Austin Disaster Relief Network 

Catholic Diocese of Austin

More updated info available on Twitter: #centraltxfires or #txfires

via The Statesman:

118,400: Acres burned in 181 fires in the past seven days.

700: Approximate number of homes burned by wildfires in the past seven days, about the same as the previous nine months.

121: Number of mutual-aid system firefighters from across the state who are currently fighting the Central Texas fires, using 72 fire engines and 18 command vehicles.

40: Texas Forest Service aircraft deployed statewide, including 15 single-engine air tankers, 12 helicopters and 13 aerial supervision aircraft assets deployed to multiple fires.

8: Texas Military Forces resource groups deployed so far, including 2 CH-47 Chinook helicopters, 3 UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters assisting with fires in Bastrop County, 1 UH-60 Blackhawk staged in Austin to fight central Texas fires, 2 UH-60 Blackhawks assisting with the fires in Colorado County, and 3 ground wildfire support packages consisting of 4 dozers and 16 personnel each.

In addition, Texas Department of Public Safety emergency management personnel, highway patrol troopers, air assets and a mobile communications center have been deployed to Bastrop County, and the Texas Department of Transportation is providing personnel, equipment and fuel to responders. 

(If you feel the need to opine that Texans caught in these fires don't deserve your righteous offer of help, take that shit somewhere else.)

How to Help Vermont

Via Dan on Twitter here's an overview of the damage:

• More than 260 roads were wiped out or damanged, and at least six bridges were totally washed out out, and 30 bridges remain closed.
• Forty propane tanks were swept out of a storage yard in Woodstock and ruptured when they struck the bridge downstream in Quechee.
• At least 280 people have been left homeless (temporarily, one hopes) and are staying in Red Cross shelters.
• At least eleven communities have "been cut off from the state highway system," and this happens to include my town of Middletown Springs.
• A state government complex in Waterbury flooded severely and is closed indefinitely.

The photos are stunning. Just stunning.

Here's one place to tell you how to donate. Post other links in the comments.

A.

Irene Aftermath

So Irene's kicking the shit out of the east coast, and seriously, any of y'all need help, all you have to do is e-mail (points to top right corner) or comment or something.

There will be plenty of right-wing fuckery on the subject to write about this week, but for now, I want to make sure you're all doing okay.

A.

And In Other Idiot Republican News

Shut your fucking mouth, you epic dumbass:

Across Florida, emergency management agencies were closely monitoring Irene's movements and track. They urged residents to make sure they have batteries, drinking water, food and other supplies available in case Irene takes aim at the state.

"We must prepare for the worst and hope for the best," said Joe Martinez, chairman of the Miami-Dade County Commission.

Gov. Rick Scott met with state emergency management officials and the state meteorologist, poring over detailed charts involving wind speed and steering currents. Scott, a first-term Republican who has not experienced a hurricane as governor, asked questions such as how much advanced notice would be needed for evacuations of low-lying areas.

"Irene's going to be close," Amy Godsey, the state meteorologist, told Scott. "We're not out of the woods yet."

Scott replied, "I'm an optimist."

JESUS TITS AND BLUEBERRY JAM. Did he not learn anything? Anything from Bush? Anything from fucking ... look, you do not SAY THINGS LIKE THAT OUT LOUD AND I'M SORRY I'M YELLING BUT SERIOUSLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. Do you really want that to be your message to the people of your state? "I'm an optimist?" Well good for fucking you. I'm sure that will be a massive comfort to all those in the hurricane's path, that you're pretty sure kind of that things will be okay maybe.

And if, God forbid, things are not okay? Then you've just written the first line of your political obituary, you stupid fuck. Christ, I'm so infuriated I can't even imagine that as a welcome possibility. Needless stupidity offends me almost as much as baseless pride in the same. Whatever this thundering nitwit is paying his press people, it clearly isn't enough to cover their headache meds and tequila, if this is the kind of thing that leaves his mouth all the time.

Please, First Draft readers in the path of what looks like a monster, stay safe, and let us know if there's anything you need.

A.

Dry as a bone

 

Extended periods of drought interrupted by episodes of flash flooding.

 That description of Texas Hill Country climatology is a grim joke frequently used in the education and outreach conducted at the non-profit natural area where I volunteer. It always gets a chuckle because it's such an apt description that even the kids get it. That's our baseline, we're used to it, we know how to live with it. More importantly the regional flora and fauna have adapted to it over the centuries. 

...Texas has long been stalked by megadroughts, events that can last 30, even 40 years. The story is told within the trunks of the bald cypress that line the creek and riverbeds of central Texas. Using the science of dendrochronology, researchers from Texas and Arkansas sampled nearly 300 trunk-core samples, creating a record of tree rings stretching back before Columbus landed in the Americas. One tree, still living, was but a sapling in 1426.

The record shows that in the 1700s and early 1800s, before American settlement and even extensive Spanish and Mexican settlement, several dry stretches were longer than the Drought of Record. The driest 10 years were 1716 through 1725, and the worst 20 years were 1697 through 1716. There have been numerous 30- and 40-year droughts. The worst gripped Texas and Mexico for nearly a half-century, from 1450 to 1489.

We know drought. We can do ordinary drought. But this drought, the one we're in now, isn't ordinary. We've had a scant 6.53 inches of rain so far in 2011, the worst single drought year on record in Texas. 

The drought is already changing the way we look at the land, the way we do business and live our lives. All over Texas, the country’s largest beef-producing state, ranchers are selling off herds early, losing millions of dollars, or hanging on just to watch the animals die for lack of water. Thirsty cows can even die from too much water; dehydrated and moved to water, the cows gulp it down too greedily, bloat up — and keel over dead.

Note that "single worst drought year" is not at all the same thing as "worst drought ever." I've already heard that error too many times in the news stories about what's going on down here. The worst drought in modern recorded history (the Drought of Record) was seven years in the 1950s. The devastation from a drought of that magnitude lasts a long time. One of the most endangered animals in the state is the Houston Toad, and while habitat destruction and pollution played a big part in the extirpation of the species from much of its range, it's believed that the killing blow to the population occurred during the 50s drought, when the toad's breeding cycle was completely disrupted for the better part of a decade. 

Many of the Central Texas springs and creeks are home to rare aquatic species, some of them endemic to a single site. A major multi-year drought at this point in time will likely destroy these forever. The natural world is a mosaic, one piece connecting to the next, and a threat to one species will continue to affect all those connected to it. The 2008 drought in Central Texas all but stopped the flow of the Blanco River. That in turn changed the flow of the larger Guadalupe River, which in turn caused a disaster in the extended salt/brackish water estuary system at the mouth of the Guadalupe. Because the upstate fresh water inflow was so disrupted, the salinity of the coastal estuary changed, which in turn killed off blue crabs and other smaller species that serve as food for thousands of migratory birds, including the only wild migrating flock of Whooping Cranes. Twenty three cranes (of 281) starved to death that winter. 

But the future, sadly, is likely to be worse than the past. “Texas is going to get hotter and drier,” said Malcolm Cleaveland, a professor at the University of Arkansas who led the researchers. Indeed, rainfall modeling shows that rising temperatures and more arid conditions over the last few decades are likely to increase in the 21st century.

According to a paper published in Science in 2007, “Droughts will become the new climatology of the American Southwest within a time frame of years to decades.” Rain will become more rare and it will evaporate more quickly, making the megadroughts of old look like periodic dry spells. And it will be in part thanks to increased carbon emissions, a fact that Texas will have a hard time confronting.

Everyone knows about Rick Perry praying for rain recently. What's ironic is he's also been praying for an end to EPA regulations. 

And last week, in an interview with CBN News, Perry gave a preview of his approach to federal environmental policy by explaining that he prays for the EPA to roll back emissions and air quality standards:

Frankly I pray for the president every day. I pray for his wisdom, I pray that God will open his eyes. I wish this president would turn back the health care law that's been passed, ask that his EPA back down these regulations that are causing businesses to hesitate to spend money.

Unless Perry is talking about reductions in hospital expenditures because of improved public health, his belief that EPA regulations of mercury, air toxics, and carbon emissions will cause businesses to stop spending money is exactly the opposite of what analysts say would happen. 

Everyone Doesn't Suffer The Same

Lessons from the 1995 Chicago heat wave.

Fuller Park, on the South Side, saw the equivalent of 92 heat-related deaths per 100,000 residents, the highest rate in Chicago. In Woodlawn, the ratio was 73 heat-related deaths per 100,000 people. Of the top 10 community areas with heat-related deaths adjusted to a population of 100,000 people, 8 were overwhelmingly African-American, with 5 of those communities being 99 percent black.

At the same time, Latinos in Chicago fared much better than other racial groups, according to Klinenberg. They represented just 2 percent of the heat-related deaths that year, but 23 percent of the city's total population.

Klinenberg offers two primary reasons to explain this, and he compares adjacent communities on the Southwest Side--North Lawndale and South Lawndale, or Little Village, to make his case. North Lawndale and Little Village were in 1995 black and Latino areas, respectively, as they are today.

For all the challenges a working class, immigrant-heavy neighborhood like Little Village faced in 1995, it had not had to grapple with what Klinenberg calls the "particular constraints of ghettoization," as had black residents of Chicago. Those constraints left a frayed social fabric in poor black neighborhoods bearing the burden of "rapid and continuous abandonment of institutions and residents ... arson and violence." A "local social ecology" that could have protected seniors--that did protect seniors elsewhere--was destroyed.

Background on the media response back then, from Steve:

"The Tribune also says today that the city 'came under severe scrutiny' for its handling of the 1995 heat wave. Really? Not by the local media, according to Klinenberg's exhaustively researched book, published in 2002. It was Klinenberg, not the local press, who reported nauseating nuggets like this one from a 'key member' of the Department of Health:

"'When Daley denied the Chief Medical Examiner's reports, he defined everything that the city would do on this for the next six months. You have to understand, there were nine refrigerated trucks holding bodies in the parking lot of the morgue, a long line of police cars delivering more, and there is the mayor - mayor of the third-largest city in the United States - denying that people were dying, or later denying that the deaths had anything to do with the heat. Imagine what the mayor's position on the heat wave did for the morale of other city employees and city agencies, or how it limited their capacity to do their work. Once the mayor took the position that the death rates were overstated it became impossible for city employees to say anything else. We were forced to find all sorts of ways to reframe the issue or to talk around what was happening. We couldn't contest his position, and in this case that meant we couldn't be fully explicit about what we were finding.'

This is the kind of weather makes even people with adequate options to cool off go Gaius-Baltar, fighting-with-the invisible-aliens-in-your-head crazy, so add in chronic neglect of the parts of the city Michigan and Wisconsin don't visit, and you've got a recipe for disaster not just once but over and over again.

A.

Rubberneckers

I hate highway rubberneckers. You know, the people who slow down if there's an accident to gawk and see if there's anything to satisfy their prurient interest.

In my neck of the woods, there's a new variation on the rubbernecking theme: drivers are slowing down or even pulling over on the interstate to watch the Bonnet Carre Spillway divert water. It's one of the two spillways that are diverting river water to prevent populated areas from flooding. It's working thus far but it's led to problems with gawkers and rubberneckers. Here's a report from WWL-TV news in New Orleans:

 

 

Watching The River Flow

People in New Orleans are jittery right now. When it comes to levees, flooding, famine and pestilence, we've become a city full of folks who see the glass half-empty. That's an odd analogy in this context: let's say people expect the glass to overflow as the Biggy Muddy rises. I, however, am cautiously optimistic, which seems to be my watch word or catch phrase these days.

It didn't help when the Picayune published a semi-hysterical story about the worst case scenario presented by the Army Corps of Engineers to Gret Stet officialdom. The worst case scenario was invoked to justify opening the Morganza Spillway for the first time in 38 years. This will divert water into the bayous and will, alas, flood some folks in those areas to prevent flooding in heavy populated Baton Rouge and New Orleans. I feel terrible for those folks but there's something about rising water and/or hurricanes that makes one ruthless.

One reason that I'm cautiously optimistic is the comment below by John Barry who is not only the author of Rising Tide but a member of the levee board:

Barry said the levees in the metro area are about seven to eight times stronger than those further north.

"The levees we have in the lower portion of the Mississippi are by far the strongest in the U.S.," he said.He said a key ingredient to their strength is the soil deposited from the river."When water runs over it, it actually compresses it, making it tighter," Barry said.

"And even if the levees get overtopped, you can run Niagara Falls over it and they won't break."

We're definitely not out of the woods but I think that we'll be okay: I sure hope so both my house and business are near the river. I do indeed feel badly for everyone who is knee deep or higher in river water right now. A special shout out to folks in Memphis and the Mississippi delta.

All I can do right now is watch the river flow:

 

Like People There Weren't Already Screwed

But the poor and middle-class of Mississippi and Arkansas are in for it:

About 10 miles north of Vicksburg, contractors lined one side of what is known as a backwater levee with big sheets of plastic to keep it from eroding if floodwaters flow over it as feared — something that has never happened to the levee since it was built in the 1970s.

In Vicksburg, which is at the southern tip of the rich alluvial soil in the central part of the state, the river was projected to peak Saturday just above the record set during the cataclysmic Great Flood of 1927. The town is home to thousands of soldier graves.

Jimmy Mitchell, 46, and his wife and two children have been living in a loaned camper for more than week at a civic arena in Tunica.

"There's no sewage hookup. You go in a barn to take a shower," said Mitchell, who is from the small community of Cutoff. "We have no time frame on how long we can stay."

As Mitchell and friends sat outside chatting in the breeze, children rode bikes nearby.

"Cutoff is a community where everybody lives from paycheck to paycheck. It's also a community where everybody sticks together," Mitchell said.

A) Here's a place to start for help. Tornado relief efforts are still going on, too. Suggest others in the comments.

B) Anybody down there, needs something, give a shout. I know where some of you live but not all of you, so represent, lurkers.

C) Hating on the South in the comments for voting Republican will get you banned, permanently. I'm in no mood.

A.

How to Help Alabama & the South

While I was at a journalism panel listening to people talk about the future of news for rich people (see Twitter for my irritability and rage at the usual direction these things take), the earth caved in yesterday:

Gov. Robert Bentley said there are 131 confirmed fatalities from yesterday's deadly tornado outbreak.

"We do expect that number to rise today. In fact, we're sure it will," Bentley said in a news conference this morning.

"We had a major catastrophic event here in Alabama with the outbreak of numerous tornadoes. We do have major destruction in the state especially in north Alabama," Bentley said.

Bentley has activated 2,000 National Guard troops to help with search and rescue efforts.

Here's one way to pitch in. Post others in the comments. And if you're down there, let us know you're safe, and if you need anything.

A.

Another Boom Gone Bust

Remember last year when nuclear power seemed to coming back into vogue in the US and A? I guess that boom has gone kaboom in the aftermath of the quake cracked nuclear plants in Japan. And guess what: the government buried its head in the sand. Anyone surprised? I thought not.

Btw, who do y'all think will be the first wingnut and/or bible thumper to say that the Japanese had it coming. They, of course, will use a less polite word. Me, I think it will be a British skinhead type. The BNP needs all the pub it can get these days even bad pub.

Well, since we're doing snow day goggie and kitteh and ferret stuff...

Sorry to get out of my box, but when I let Bailey and Brillo out for their morning constitutional yesterday, I had a feeling that one or both would have trouble with the strange white stuff all over the ground.

They usually trot over to the far end of the yard to do their business, but poor Bailey just wandered around in circles looking pitiful until he finally just squatted a bit and went in the snow on the porch.

I remarked - "Quitter."

 

'Sensitive Blacks'

The blizzard of '79, and how city services were distributed:

In his 1994 series, Stone noted another mistake that's become part of the Bilandic legend: "Bilandic assured the people of Chicago that the CTA was operating in spite of the blizzard. It wasn't. Trains had actually bypassed stations in the city's black neighborhoods, leaving thousands of people out in the cold." (When Bilandic died in 2002, the Chicago Defender's headline was "Bilandic dies at 78; legacy is snow, reforms.") In a February 24th letter to the Tribune, Barbara Flynn Currie charged the CTA with "blatant and institutional racism"; the next day, columnist Vernon Jarrett predicted that the CTA stop closures and slow clearance in black neighborhoods would have electoral consequences.

When the Tribune editorial page addressed the issue, its piece was titled "The CTA and sensitive blacks," though it at least made the reasonable point that the deliberate closure of CTA stops in largely black neighborhoods sent a different message than the incidentally terrible service throughout the city that the closures were meant to address.

A.

Digging Out

Yowza, we gots a lot of freaking snow.

I dug George out about two-thirds of the way, the final third needing to wait until somebody snowblows a space for me to put the snow I'm shoveling from around the car. We survived the night without losing power, though there were a few scary flickers and the wind seemed to be blowing right through the east window. The fake fireplace I make fun of all the time was no longer quite so hilarious.

Right now the whole city's like we just woke up from a monsterous bender: What the FUCK happened last night? Who are YOU? What is this duck doing here? The bad news is there are lots of people without power, people whose cars are stuck, and people who need help. The good news is that, as usual when something's effed up, people are doing extraordinary things.

The Chicago Fire Department used snowmobiles to reach people on side streets that were impassable for ambulances or fire trucks, according to Fire Cmsr. Robert Hoff.

People who needed to be taken to hospitals were put in baskets that the snowmobiles pulled to waiting ambulances on nearby main streets, Hoff said.

I want to drag everyone who says there's no real community in a big city over to my window and make them watch what's going on right now. Two large guys with shovels are going around in the alley asking people if they need help digging their cars out. They'd make a fortune today, and given the economy who would blame them, but when a woman tried to give them money they waved her off with big smiles.

My downstairs neighbor shoveled most of my steps so I shoveled upwards instead. The snowdrifts on the third floor deck were bigger than the ones on the second, which makes sense, but holy Jesus anyway THERE ARE SNOWDRIFTS ON THE THIRD FLOOR.

Friends have been texting me all day: Are you okay? Do you need help? I have no idea how any of us would get to each other, but they're all checking in regardless. The main street's plowed, and the alley -- well, they take forever to plow the alley on a good day, so we may be waiting a bit to get the car out.

Last night was scary, and around 1 a.m. I started wondering why we live here and not, say, in California, but this morning I look around and I realize I know exactly why. Hipsters are playing frisbee in the street because it's totally empty of cars, and I live on a pretty busy avenue. A cop drove by, and waved to them.

A.

I Pledge Allegiance to Traction Control and Anti-Lock Brakes

The snow tonight is like something out of a horror movie. It is not merely blowing sideways, it is actually blowing UP. Coming home from the shelter, as I inched George the Trusty Prius across the overpass over 290, it looked like a wall of snow coming out from the city, rushing in from the lake like a wave.

Posting may be light if we lose power, though I'm hoping that the Internets will still be mine tomorrow.

Stay warm and safe tonight, everybody. And if there's any way you can avoid being out in this, please, take the advice of somebody who will pretty much go out in anything, and DON'T. This is something I've not seen before.

A.

The Metrodome does a Superdome impression

We New Orleanians know from collapsing domes but very little about blizzards:

 

Gimme Shelter

Hurricane Earl continues to give me earworms. Fuck you, Earl. Hmm, I seem to be working awfully hard on that fuck quota thing lately...

When I think about shitty weather, I think of Gimme Shelter. You may not but I do. I also think of the remarkable documentary of that title about the Altamont clusterfuck, I mean festival.

Here's a Steel Wheels tour live version. It was a good tour: Dr. A and I saw the Stones at the Superdome and the huge industrial stage set made it seem intimate in a glitzy rock and roll kinda way. Know what I'm saying? If you don't the fuck quota may apply...

The Hellmouth

Good God.

In the northern part of Guatemala City, the downpour created a giant sinkhole that swallowed up a space larger than the area of a street intersection. Residents told CNN that a three-story building and a house fell into the hole.

A local newspaper reported that a private security guard was killed when the sinkhole opened up, but authorities had not confirmed the fatality. Residents said that a poor sewage drainage system underground was to blame for the sinkhole. A similar hole opened up nearby last year, they said.

Classes have been canceled this week throughout the nation.

In Honduras, where 14 people have died, President Porfirio Lobo declared a state of emergency Sunday.

Seriously, between the earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, oil spills, and the number of times I've watched Reign of Fire on cable this weekend, I'm starting to wonder if the Mayans aren't on to something.

A.

"Winter dead, that was buried near the pole beans"

degenerate, washed by weather cycles

degenerate, bleach the deadly night shades

degenerate, prepare to take the profit

oh degenerate, oh degenerate

We moved from New York back to Texas right after Thanksgiving. That first winter, in an old house that hadn't been lived in for years, was cold and dusty and full of bitter arguments and second guessing the whole crazy idea of coming back home after 10 years away.

Then spring happened. I remember crying a lot without warning, for no good reason. I cried when the trees started to leaf out. I stopped the car, backed up to the clump of mountain laurel I had just driven past and cried at the sweet grape-koolaid smell.  I teared up at the first sight of a scissortail flycatcher. I thought my heart was going to break open when the bluebonnets bloomed, and then I realized that it was. The awful, sad winter was over and dead, and in retrospect, some of what was "us" had died with it. New York was farther away than ever but the ache was bearable.  El Niño had arrived during the fall and brought a crazy wild riot of spring with it that made it hard to think, about the past, about anything. The leaves couldn't bust out quick enough, there didn't seem to be enough room on the roadsides for the wildflowers.

And now it's happened again. Another el Niño, and Spring 2010 has come on like a speedfreak, from one week to the next. On my way across campus to the office, I cross three bridges, one over the San Marcos River, rushing high and fast and clear, then through the park, cross at the light, and  two flat spans stretch low across ponds full of turtles and catfish, egrets stalking around the cypress knees after minnows. The resident corps of geese and ducks has expanded, bunches of tiny spotted puffballs march the banks in wobbly formations. It's ridiculous and manic and glorious and when I'm out in it, I can't even think straight. Which is fine. There's been way too much to think about this week, to try and make sense of, and I've failed every time I've tried. At my desk, I stare out the window and wait till I can go back out again — a big dumb animal, one of many, happy to be alive for no good reason.

La Danse de Mardi Gras (via Passion Fish)

Giant Sea Insect Surfaces to Warn Us All of Our Doom

Getitoffgetitoffgetitawayomgskeery!

A.

The Zombie Apocalypse

Last winter, when it was cold and dark and miserable, I started spending a lot of time in the post-apocalyptic genre. The Road, SM Stirling's Change series, re-watching Galactica, 28 Days Later, etc. This, combined with the collapse of the US economy, made me COMPLETELY FUCKING PARANOID. Like, go to the store and buy all the dry goods on the shelves paranoid.

Here's a handy guide for how it will all go down.

Via the Group News Blog.

A.

People. Today is MARMOT DAY.

MARMOT DAY:

Because there are no groundhogs in Alaska - yet three other species of marmots call the state home - it makes sense the ground squirrel become Alaska's version of Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog famed for his winter weather forecasts.

"I'm happy to put the spotlight Feb. 2 on our own Alaska marmots that can be seen throughout the state welcoming us to warmer days," Menard added.

Although the bill doesn't give marmots any weather forecasting duties, Menard hopes the state will create educational activities around the animal.

This year, Mat-Su Valley's KMBQ radio station will hold a special event, along with observances in the Mat-Su School District and the Alaska Zoo.

Locally, Menard will incorporate excerpts from the children's book "Gimme, Gimme Moocher Marmots," by 14-year Douglas resident Cindy Burchfield, in her presentation Tuesday to the Senate.

GIMME GIMME MOOCHER MARMOTS.

I don't even know what to do with that, it's so awesome.

A.

Rescue

Here's an amazing story captured by an ITN crew on assignment in Haiti and broadcast in the US and A by NBC:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Malaka Of The Week: Pat Robertson

There was a lot of egregious malakatude this week but in the end I had to pick the evil, senile and faux avuncular Pat Robertson. I hesitated to do so because my colleagues have done such a good job hitting the Bad Reverend upside the head here, here and here. Jude's comments on the first post, in particular, are *impossible* to top.

But even if predictable coming from this well seasoned douchebag, claiming that Haiti was hit by a record setting earthquake was because of a pact with the devil hits 100 on the malakatude scale. Why would a deal with Satan be necessary for SLAVES to gain their freedom, Pat? Your version of God is pro-slavery? I know you should be placed on an ice flow and put out to sea in your underwear but I figured you thought slavery wasn't a good thing, Pat. Toussaint L'Overture was a freedom fighter claiming the rights that he mistakenly thought were granted by the French Revolution.

The good news is that the Bad Reverend hasn't got long to live so these periodic eruptions of imbecility from him will cease.  I'm sure there are many others who'll fill the gap and pronounce natural disasters as punishment for sins, deals with the devil or Southern Decadence. Pat Robertson will leave the scene fairly soon but his sort of malakatude is eternal.

I'll let Jon Stewart have the last word on Pat and his colleagues in malakatude:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Haiti Earthquake Reactions
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Dedicated To The People Of Port au Prince

I grew up in earthquake country (the Bay Area) and live in the hurricane zone so the disaster in Haiti punches my empathy buttons. Unlike those folks, I've been lucky. The worst thing that ever happened to me earthquake wise was a stack of books landing on my bed in my parents house when I was a surly teenager. (Getting hit in the head with a copy of Catch-22 did nothing to improve my disposition.) I was among the lucky in New Orleans too but was exiled from my home and city for weeks. I've made a modest donation and I hope that our readers will click on some of the links posted by Athenae yesterday or use the Google to find other ways to help.

Seeing the film of the collapsed buildings in Port au Prince, of course, reminded me of the post-Katrina devastation on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. As First Draft readers know, most of the damage in New Orleans was from the Federal Flood but places in Mississippi such as Waveland and Bay St. Louis were leveled by the storm. And whenever I think of that disaster and the flooded streets of Gentilly, the Lower Ninth Ward, Lakeview and Mid-City in New Orleans, I get Bruce Springsteen's My City Of Ruins in my head. It was written for his post 9/11 masterpiece The Rising but as with the best of Bruce's work, it's universal. It's Sam Cooke meets The Band meets the E Street Band.

I'd like to dedicate My City Of Ruins to the people of the epicenter of the earthquake, Port au Prince. Come on, rise up:

The Dark Side Of El Nino

I'm not talking about some chap from Barcelona or Sevilla, I'm talking about the El Nino weather pattern we're experiencing this year. (I don't know how to add a tilde to the N at TypePad so we'll just have to muddle through.) We New Orleanians *loved* El Nino last summer: it kept those pesky hurricanes away and spared us from having to listen to Ray Nagin tell us to get the hell out of Dodge like some hipster chicken little. Run, man, run...

El Nino in the winter, however, is a different kettle of fish altogether. It is one mean sumbitch and has given us a very wet December indeed. In fact, it became the wettest December on record last Saturday when parts of the area had between 6 to 10 inches of rain and much of it came in a 4 hours span.

Since it's kind of low and flat around here, there was widespread street flooding Saturday night. Dr. A and I were stranded high and dry in deep shit suburbia for 4 frakking hours before the water receded enough for us to leave without flooding our car. We were in Jefferson Parish, so I kept hoping that Steven Seagal: Law Man and his rather long in the tooth "boys" would arrive to help but they didn't.  Bastards. Btw, If you haven't seen the new A & E series of that name and you like MST3K, Cinematic Titanic and/or Rifftrax, you gotta see it. It's unintentionally hilarious and gets me riffing like Crow T Robot. Thanks, Mr. Seagal, you clueless zen practitioner, you.

It's raining cats and dogs again tonight (I've never understood that expression but use it anyway; arf, meow) and more flooding is forecast for lower lying areas in what Sinatra would have surely called the wee small hours of the morning. Mercifully, Dr A and I live on high ground near the Big Muddy so we'll be high and dry but others won't be so lucky. My friend and fellow NOLA blogger Editor B's wife's car stalled and flooded on Airline Highway, which some folks have tried to rename Airline Drive to erase the Jimmy Swaggart hooker motel stigma. It didn't work.

Where am I going with this? To hell in a bucket probably. Actually, I have a long (by internet standards) tradition on my blog of posting rain songs so I thought that I'd import it to First Draft. Hmm, I wonder if I have to go through customs? I'd rather have Athenae search my bags than Jude, he'd probably steal stuff...

Our first rainy day tune comes from the Fab Four:

Since it's a melancholy night here in Debrisville here's a bit of Peter Gabriel:

Finally, since this is kinda, sorta a Midwestern based blog, the Jayhawks live:

Standing It

Oh please, baby, please, baby! Bring it ON! 

SCATTERED SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED ACROSS SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS AND THE HILL COUNTRY THROUGH THIS EVENING. SOME OF THESE STORMS COULD BECOME VERY STRONG...WITH WIND GUSTS NEAR 50 MPH...SMALL HAIL...AND ISOLATED HEAVY RAINFALL.

Unless you hear otherwise, assume I will be out on my deck tonight dancing, making offerings, and otherwise petitioning the spirits in order to boost the odds that we actually get some of this promised precipitation. 

Because this last week, we been hot, ya'll.  Central Texas might as well have been the surface of the sun. 107° — that was the actual temp, not the heat index, on Thursday. The NWS issued a warning that I don't remember having seen before, a Lack of Precipitation Alert, which basically said, "Don't even think about it raining, because it ain't gonna happen. Possibly not ever." 

Had I known, six weeks ago, that we were going to get this kind of heat so early, I probably wouldn't have decided to stop using my air conditioner for the summer. But I did, and I've stuck with it, even last week. 

Most of you have likely just joined the ranks of everyone else I've shared this with and you now think that I've lost my motherf*cking mind, but I haven't. Quite the opposite, even. I feel that cutting down on my energy consumption during peak usage season makes all kinds of sense. Obviously this isn't for everybody, some folks really do NEED air conditioning.  I had heat exhaustion once, years ago in New York (ironically far less hot than Texas and I was younger and in better shape). Trust me, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

There's just so many instances, though, when we believe without question that we absolutely have to have some thing(s) to survive. It's been my experience that when I feel that way, I'm usually wrong about it. Sure I might have gotten habituated to something, more comfortable with something than without, but more often than not, those things aren't really essential.  In contrast, I often find I am going without things that I should have in order to thrive, not just survive. Embarrassing as it is to admit, since I'm almost older than dirt, I still struggle with some of the more basic self care issues that many adults of my acquaintance seem to have mastered. Though, one of the upsides to having my life disrupted by my breakup a few years back was that I couldn't keep doing a lot of the stupid shit I was doing before because no one was going to fix it but me. 

Which brings me back to the AC withdrawal. A few months ago, I quit my second job because even though the extra money was nice, the lack of down time was driving me more than a little nuts. Glad I did it but it left me with a bit of a hole in the budget and I had to figure out how I was going to get around that. My two biggest bills each month, especially in the summer, are electricity and water. That's not true for many folks, I know, but it's due in part because I live in a somewhat remote location and also because my utility companies are soulless, thieving heaps of shit. 

So that's when I turned the thermostat off and opened the windows. Luckily I've got ceiling fans in every room, the house is well-insulated, and there's a nice cross breeze.  I'm not saying the worst hot days are a walk in the park but it's been way less disruptive and uncomfortable than I thought and I'm saving buckets of cash. The lack of refrigerated air is costing me far less peace of mind than the lack of cash flow would have, and I love the feel of connection I get from being able to hear the sounds of life outside: locusts droning away the afternoon, hummingbirds zooming around the feeder, coyotes off in the distance at night, the call and response of owls right before the sun comes up. 

But don't think I won't be enjoying that rain and cool breeze tonight.  

  

Ann Miller's tour de force routine from Kiss Me Kate. In 1957, for an appearance with Bob Hope in Morocco, Miller performed this number for 5,000 troops ... in 120° heat.